Mum spanked DD whilst I'm in hospital

[wantthisbabyout]

Currently in hospital after my c-section apologies if this is all over the place as I'm half asleep!

Mum stayed over last night and complained this morning that she hadn't slept all night. We left at 6:45 this morning and she was up. She also said yesterday that she wishes my kids were "normal"

I FaceTimed her today with the kids and DD was upset saying grandma hurt me and my mum said oh it's ok it was only a little spank on the hand as she hasn't been listening.

My DD is the sweetest little girl ever, yes she is very stubborn but you just need to have patience with her.

AIBU to feel like my mum has just lost her temper and probably felt a bit angry and spanked her? I feel so upset about anyone touching my kids.

DH has just popped home now to get some sleepsuits but I dare not tell him because he will be so angry.

@Pumperthepumper

So if you were unhappy at school, did your mum hitting you over homework make that any better?

it didnt make me want to do my homework any more , but it did make me see that it was completley out of order to take her for a total mug that i could maniuplate and bend to my own way and that she did have a limit to my crap behaviour ,screaming at her and calling her a bitch was that limit , i respected her and apprecialted her no end and still do , if left to my dads not so tender mercies id have probably wound up in bloody foster care when he got sick of me , you can bend and twist it any way you want to pursue your agenda , but your wasting your time with me im afraid

[quote worriedatthistime]@Pumperthepumper say it but again you don't have a right go judge how others parent
Some may not agree with your methods ,
I don't agree on calling people shitty parents without all the facts [/quote]
agreed , my mum is far from a shitty parent and she certainly didnt practice shitty parenting either , its my opinion that these wet parents too scared to discipline their kids to the point of even raising their voice to them who are the shitty ones , there are no end of promising young thugs both male and female at my dds secondary school , dd heard one of them telling her friends that when the school email her parents with reports about her terrible behaviour her parents then contact the school and complain shes being victimised because of her race , that to me is an example of true shitty parenting . total enabling of bad behaviour which is why we have so many kids with no manners and no respect for their parents , other adults or property

You've just had a c-section and are probably tired and emotional.
Some of the posts are way ott. It's a smack on the hand from a grandparent trying to cope with several excited children in her own.
I think you need to keep it in context.

Maybe have a quiet word with your dm at some point and explain it's never okay to smack a child even on the hand.

But otherwise if you trust her then see it as she was tired and overwhelmed and parenting as a grandparent is difficult. Don't overload her in the future, maybe one child at a time if it's a sleepover.

@Nennypops yes i have read there post think you will find yours were deleted too
I was explaining it wasn't at the person and I have also apologised for how it came off so think I fully understand

@chaosrabbitland not all parents who choose not to physically assault their child are the 'wet' parents that you describe by any means. It's a fallicy to assume that kids who aren't getting smacked aren't being disciplined. You've acknowledged that you're much less close to dad who was harder on you and your mum who you seem to be defending so relentlessly only actually hit you a couple of times. Why? You can accept that the minute amount of times your mum lost it with you wasn't ideal parenting and that you were a child who didn't deserve it whilst acknowledging that overall she was an amazing parent. I was hit as a child amongst other issues. I'm not going to dissown my otherwise loving parents for it and I'm not going to waste time resenting them. However you'd never in a million years hear me defending it or saying it did anything other than damage me as this simply isn't true. I acknowledge this as it's the way I can avoid 'breaking the cycle' with my own dd. We're all entitled to our opinion and mine is that I'm mature enough to raise a child to be a decent human being without assaulting them

it didnt make me want to do my homework any more , but it did make me see that it was completley out of order to take her for a total mug that i could maniuplate and bend to my own way and that she did have a limit to my crap behaviour ,screaming at her and calling her a bitch was that limit

Would you hit your kid under the same circumstances?

Agree with posters it’s a probably a very tired Grandma coping with excitable children, a quiet word that you don’t want that to happen again would be enough without creating WW3, Energy and with it patience, tend to reduce as we get older.

@Jannt86 why can't people leave them alone they said they are find with it and have a different opinion to you
You being your kids up how you like and let others bring theirs up how they want , most people I know who had the odd smack from their parents aren't damaged or looking at people on the internet to tell them they should do xyz
Maybe we wouldn't agree with every way you parent
There are def a lot worst kids around nowadays as people tend to operate zero boundaries or discipline
Anyone who worked or had children in a school would know that behaviour is worse as people have gone to the total opposite
Not saying hitting but not saying no to their children and trying to be their child's friend rather than their parent
Each to their own

[quote worriedatthistime]@Nennypops yes i have read there post think you will find yours were deleted too
I was explaining it wasn't at the person and I have also apologised for how it came off so think I fully understand [/quote]
One of mine, responding to and quoting from four of yours. But the point is not a deletion competition but the fact that you are still going in for personal attacks having been reminded of the rule against them. Claiming that accusing someone of being clueless is not an insult really compounds the offence. I am however glad that you eventually apologised.

Many violent children and adults have become that way not because their parents are unduly lenient, but because they are constantly being hit at home and seeing their siblings being hit.

@Nennypops

Many violent children and adults have become that way not because their parents are unduly lenient, but because they are constantly being hit at home and seeing their siblings being hit.

Have you got any evidence for that?

Smacking is supposedly frowned on now so this generation shouldn't have had those sort of punishments yet there is so much violence

Perhaps it is lack of boundaries and unstable home life that cause the violence not necessarily being smacked occasionally?

It's probably more complex

@Nennypops maybe read the post properly and stop referring to me please , i apologised , you never
Your the one who is making it personal

@Nennypops you obviously also reported them my replies were split replies to your one, you have accused me of being a liar and all sorts
Lets just ignore each other , I don't agree with your posts you don't agree with mine leave it at that

I did read the post in question, @worriedatthistime.

@awaynboilyurheid

Agree with posters it’s a probably a very tired Grandma coping with excitable children, a quiet word that you don’t want that to happen again would be enough without creating WW3, Energy and with it patience, tend to reduce as we get older.

I just want to make clear (since the thread has become a little derailed) that just because some of us are saying the hitting was wrong and very against it in general that we don't necessarily think that one tap of the hand will have done any significant damage to the child or that dgm should be denied access to her. My original post suggested talking to dgm and being vigilant that she simply may not be coping with babysitting duties so to cool off on these and I still think this is the most sensible approach. I don't want OP (who's probably already tired and emotional) to read this and catstrophise the situation. It's not a disaster it's just not something that can be swept under the carpet. Hope you're doing well OP if you haven't left the thread x

[quote worriedatthistime]@Nennypops you obviously also reported them my replies were split replies to your one, you have accused me of being a liar and all sorts
Lets just ignore each other , I don't agree with your posts you don't agree with mine leave it at that [/quote]
No, I didn't report. And I haven't accused you of being a liar.