To hate DH working hours

[StaceHu23]

So my husband earns lots of money and has decent job which he has worked his way up to, I am very proud of him, however, this has all come at a price, he works quite late, until 8pm or later some nights

although he does finish early 2 days per week to when I am working too. I feel like I am doing most of this on my own.

He also has hobbies that he goes to 2 nights per week and if he goes put on a weekend it feels as if there is no family time.

He thinks IABU, please tell me if I am.

It doesn’t matter if he’s unreasonable or not, you are unhappy.

Sometimes people ARE unreasonable and it’s ok. It’s a foible, something you can discuss etc.

You are unhappy and your partner doesn’t care. That’s the bottom line right now.

Yikes, doesn’t sound too great. Were these events talked about with you beforehand or did he just do them without so much as a by your leave? He’s going to really need to pull his finger out and start taking on more with the kids/home life, and plan it so that both of you get some time out. My XH didn’t. He was unreliable before and still is.

Yes, it’s stressful being a lone parent on one hand: I work FT, and then make sure kids do homework, have everything they need, the house is sorted (they do help, but it’s my overall responsibility) etc. and I don’t earn anything near what your DH earns. However, I know it’s all down to me, and I know there’s no expectation that anyone else will step in.

With respect to starting a career after DC were born, I had a career beforehand, but then retrained as a nurse when my eldest was 3. So yes, it can be done…but it’s bloody hard work (harder than my first BSc) and you need watertight support from family. I said it earlier and I would stress again, now is the time to talk things through and get a plan in motion (now and not when you start the access or MW course).

And there’s another reason why I didn’t stop working when my kids were younger - I needed to keep my NMC registration up to date and current. If I had let that lapse, I would have had to have done a Return To Practise course. And that would have been a whole other headache. For hobbies: it tends to be stuff i can do with the kids, so cycling, walks, swimming and running, days out and so on. If I see friends, either they come over or we meet someplace during day (and bring kids). I rarely drink, or go out to bars (not my scene but - thanks to XH’s antics - drunk people scare me).