To not want older children breathing and blowing raspberries in my babies face?

[UberUbers]

I'll be completely upfront, I feel a touch germ 'phobic' at the minute after just getting over my second bout of covid and a nasty bug a couple of weeks prior. My poor baby has had it all along with me.

I know 'germs are everywhere and can't be avoided, you can't wrap babies in cotton wool' yada yada, but I feel really uncomfortable with older children coming right up to his face and breathing on it / blowing raspberries, peppering hin with spittle.

I really don't like it and want to ask that it stops, but AIBU?

Either say please don't do that in my babies face, we don't want him getting ill, or move him away if you can? Are they children you know?

@Heartofglass12345

Either say please don't do that in my babies face, we don't want him getting ill, or move him away if you can? Are they children you know?

Yes my partners children, siblings, hence I feel bad about saying anything but they were the ones who caught covid and the other bug from school so they're around a ton of other kids often and we all know how things spread among kids

Ah that does make it a bit awkward. You could say it nicely thought, not be too harsh? What does your partner think, have you mentioned it to them?

Yabu.

@RedHelenB

Yabu.

Why?

You can’t ask siblings to keep their distance when playing with the baby.

@Heartofglass12345

Ah that does make it a bit awkward. You could say it nicely thought, not be too harsh? What does your partner think, have you mentioned it to them?

I haven't said anything no as I don't want to cause any bad feeling or hinder them having a bond, it just makes me feel anxious. I'm going to have to have a word with him and put my point across as gently as I can.

@Sirzy

You can’t ask siblings to keep their distance when playing with the baby.

I'm not saying I want them to keep a distance per se, just not to go nose to nose with him blowing raspberries and covering his face in spittle

Random children, of course that wouldn't be unreasonable, but his siblings? It would be weird for them to avoid close contact with him! Are they doing it to annoy you, or to make him laugh, or what? Maybe redirect them, show them how to blow raspberries on his feet or whatever instead, but generally speaking there's not much you can do. As long as they're just being nice and interested that's something you want to foster!

They aren't random older children, they are your daughters siblings. I think it would be fair enough to say no raspberries in her face, but you can't stop them breathing near her!

I can definitely see why you're finding this a bit icky. But tbh, if they're staying in the same house as you and your baby and dp, chances are they will pass on some bugs, so I wouldn't overly worry about the raspberries. Maybe just mention it but very lightheartedly

I do this to my own baby, I honestly think it would be weird to make an issue of this when it is the baby’s siblings, particularly just coming up to the baby’s face in general. Would they not be allow to kiss their baby sibling on the head?
It’s not like some random kids passing in the street.

@SuperSocks

Random children, of course that wouldn't be unreasonable, but his siblings? It would be weird for them to avoid close contact with him! Are they doing it to annoy you, or to make him laugh, or what? Maybe redirect them, show them how to blow raspberries on his feet or whatever instead, but generally speaking there's not much you can do. As long as they're just being nice and interested that's something you want to foster!

100 % this! If these older children were also your DC this thought would never enter your head!

Oh, my nephew was terrible with always wanting to do this with my first baby. Nephew was 6 at the time. We use to say 'Give him (DS) some space. Remember, he's only little'. I love my nephew a lot but God there were times when I felt like shouting at him to back off

As they are the baby's siblings, I think this sort of behaviour and interaction is completely normal.

Random children would be different, but you can hardly ask his siblings to stay away from your baby!?

If these older children were also your DC this thought would never enter your head!

Well yes, it would.

If I had older DC in school who'd been bringing bugs in as of late then I absolutely wouldn't want them blowing raspberries on babies face.

You can't avoid germs completely but being in the same place doesn't mean you're definitely going to catch whatever another family member has. DP didn't catch covid despite DSC, me and baby having it.

I knew it wouldn't be long until something like this was implied. Yawn.

I don't want them to stay away from him at all, surely they can interact and play with him without covering his face in spit though.

Please don't make out I'm trying to keep them away from him.

Younger siblings catch lots of stuff from their older brothers and sisters. That's just the way it is. On the plus side, your baby will catch less when they start nursery/schoolmaster their immune system will.already have been given a workout.

FWIW I wouldn't want my own mother spitting on his face either, it's nothing personal towards them.. quite the opposite, which is why I'm doing all of this hand wringing about addressing it.

‘Spitting on him’ is a total exaggeration though. Your mum wouldn’t be spitting on him and neither are the siblings.
You say you are also uncomfortable with them coming up to his face or breathing on him! Honestly that is just normal sibling interaction, I think you need to adjust your expectations really.
Not kissing him on the face if they are actively sick is one thing but day to day banning it is just ott.

Maybe it would help you to do some cbt? It does sound a little OTT. If your baby has a compromised immune system I take it back. But if healthy, I wouldn't worry.

It might mKe you feel better to consider that very few things are sterile so it's pointless to focus on one source of germs.

Honestly OP if it were an older child of yours you would just be thrilled at home much they love their baby sibling, how happy they are and keen to involved and you’d do everything you could to nurture that relationship. That’s probably how your DH feels- you just need to bite your tongue.

The other thing is that it's actually really important for babies to be exposed to bugs. I know that isn't much consolation when you've all got a vomiting bug or whatever!

I honestly do think (anecdotally) that kids with older siblings don't have such a rough time with catching things when they start school. Not sure if I'm being terribly convincing here, but it's a good try

Baby is healthy and doesn't have any health problems.

I will accept IBU if the majority think so.

I may well be being too precious, as I said in my OP I'm quite germ phobic at the minute. It's almost like a fear of getting ill because we've spent months fighting off something or other.