Picking up niece from school

[archetypes]

My youngest son and my brothers daughter, my niece start school in September, they will be in the same class at the same school. My SIL is pregnant with her second child. She is due in September, today my SIL asked me if I would pick my niece up everyday from school and drop her off at home for the whole time she is on maternity leave, I said no I've got my own and children said she’ll be off anyway. She got all annoyed with me and asked how she’s meant to do school pick up when the baby is sleeping or if she’s had a bad night. She shouted at me that she would have to get up at the crack of dawn (school starts at 8.45 and is a five minute walk away) to take niece to school with a newborn and then do the same at 3.30, when will she get a rest.

My AIBU is I’m not missing something am I , this is totally out of order millions on mums including myself have done school pick up and drop off with newborns. Im a firm believer of if you choose to have children you look after them yourself. I already have my niece after nursery until my brother and SIL finish work, I don’t want to do it when she’s at home I want the time she’s on Mat leave to look after my own children.

Sorry for the ramble.

I would have offered to do it for the first couple of weeks after her DH had finished paternity leave but not the whole year!

I think I would have offered to split/share pick ups. Do you live near each other? Call her back, say you had a quick response, and now it might be a good idea if you can share drop off. Keep the peace. If you feel strongly just offer one day.

I would suggest you offer to split the pick ups with her.

No way would I do them simply because she is having another baby. If she was working and struggling to sort it then yes I would help.

What a joke! I'm also due in sept and am worried about this but it's the reason I'm going to get help with the baby at first.

If I asked my SIL this she wouldn't say yes to every day.

Everyday for a whole year is excessive. Maybe the first couple of weeks while she is recovering from birth yes but not a year! If I was on mat leave I'd be offering to pick up your child and bring them back to my house a couple of days a week to help you and then maybe that could turn into a reciprocal agreement. Sounds like your SIL is all take and no give though

Well if she hadn’t been so rude I’d say you could offer to do it for the first few weeks and then share it after that.
But she should not have demanded and she should not have had a temper tantrum when you said no.
She’s burnt her bridges here a bit.

It's a big part of my motivation of having two close together (if possible)..no nursery or schools runs with a newborn as both still too little.

I'd suggest you split it but I'd offer to do every day the first two weeks after your brother has gone back to work as that'll be the hardest time.

Asking if you would mind helping in the latest stages of pregnancy/just after birth is ne thing.

Whole year is another thing! I've often seen newborn babies on school run. DD2 first came with me at less than a week to the delight of DD1s nursery staff.

Prior to her going off on one at you I would have offered to do the first week or so post baby to help out but not a whole year fuck that shit.
I'm due another in October and I'm still going to have to do nursery runs. Yep might be tough with a new born but that's life and as you day many people do it.

She is being so rude I wouldn't put myself out for her I would say she needs to make other arrangements for after nursery

I wouldnt offer anything after she has been so rude, but if it is raised again, how about suggesting splitting the school runs.

Rude! Like others, I’d offer to help the first couple of weeks or split childcare but real life involves getting the baby used to their routine. She needs to get on with it.
Sorry. I know that sounds harsh but what was she expecting to happen? If she wants permanent childcare she should pay a childminder or after school club.

Wow, that's a new kind of lazy!

I wouldn't offer a single second of help after her saying that.

She is being absolutely ridiculous. It's not rocket science.

For the first week or so after the baby’s born but not for all Mat leave. Do that and you’ll find yourself doing it when she goes back to work.

Do you live within walking distance of each other?

Bit sad that she's not interested in picking up her first child at all.
As a teacher, I probably did 10 pick-ups in total throughout my DD's 7 years at primary and I was a bit sad about that tbh.

She's chosen to have another child, its her responsibility. I'd help out occasionally but not every day. I was back on the school run a day or 2 after my 2nd and 3rd were born. They sleep in the car/pram and the tiredness is just something that comes with being a Mum.

I’ve already picked my niece up everyday from nursery for the last three years (obviously for free)I know it might sound selfish but I’m looking forward to coming home and just having my own children for one year, I’ll be picking my niece up after her Mat leave finishes, and I’ll help out if there’s sickness or whatever but I feel taken advantage of. I babysit and take my niece out all the time, even on weekends and not once have they had my children.

@Ginger1982

No they live five mins away from school, I live 20min car ride away.

Geez tell her to sort out paid childcare!!

This so weird, how does she think the rest of us cope?!
Totally normal to do school run with a newborn.

She's very rude. She can do it you just have to be organised.
Most mums of more than one manage it, as did I. Ds was luckily on school holiday when Ds 2 was born. I had 2 weeks to get sorted before needing to drop him off each morning and pick up in the afternoon. It's doable.

Reading your updates.... they are taking you for a complete mug.

Stop all the extra stuff unless they reciprocate. Fuck that.

Every day of her ML??? Jog on!!! If anything she should be covering YOU while on ML, she has time! Oh poor thing you’ve had a bad night? Welcome to motherhood love!