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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MiL gave baby first ice cream

703 replies

maloney123 · 06/04/2022 23:48

Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I’m hugely grateful to them for this. They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we’re not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste. Previously she has also tried BLW my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we’ve already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first.

I don’t mind MIL giving “normal” foods but I do feel like something like baby’s first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don’t think I’m going to say anything about it as I don’t want to appear ungrateful so I guess I’m just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!

OP posts:
nameisnotimportant · 07/04/2022 07:17

Just give her a bit of cake and watch her reaction. There will be plenty of first treat foods you can give her for the first time. You should of seen my child's face the first time she ate bacon. Better than any other treat face, even ice cream and cake. That's the joy of parenting and weaning, you don't know what will be their favourite food.
Don't overthink it and be happy that the grandparent got to enjoy a special moment with your child and move on.

areyoubeingserved1985 · 07/04/2022 07:17

My mum gave my son his first taste of ice cream at 4 months he was badly teething so mum dipped the dummy into vanilla ice cream. He was soothed and enjoyed it.

I trust my mum with him she did raise me and my brother so I have faith in that she knows what she is doing.

I missed a lot of first due to me going back to work.

PurBal · 07/04/2022 07:17

I gave DS icecream for the first time this week. I can assure it wasn’t a cute moment. It was because he’s been very poorly, lost his appetite and ended up blue lighted to hospital. I’ve been trying everything in my power to get him to eat something over the last week to keep his glucose levels up so it doesn’t happen again. Is there a reason you only let MIL give your baby pre approved foods? Does LO have an allergy or something?

Basilthymerosemary · 07/04/2022 07:18

What a silly reason to be upset about. Be prepared to be upset over a lot of first milestones that you’ll miss 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

georgarina · 07/04/2022 07:20

YABU sorry!
Ice cream is a bit of a fun/special food yes, but 'baby's first ice cream' isn't a milestone
In fact this exact thing happened when grandma or MIL was looking after my first. He had his first taste of ice cream with them. I wasn't bothered, just happy they were having fun together.

Billandben444 · 07/04/2022 07:28

I understand that you feel upset over this and I'm not going to piss on your feelings. I looked after my grandson a day a week from 6 months (still on call and he's 13 now) and his parents were just delighted when I had a fun moment/experience with him - they were pleased for me and that I got to enjoy him as much as they did. Would that be an easier way to look at any missed milestones?

Thisisit2022 · 07/04/2022 07:28

My child turned 18 this year and I missed her first Jagerbomb.

Londoncallingme · 07/04/2022 07:31

I remember my pfb first ice cream. I remember being interested in his reaction. I can’t remember any of the others, no idea when they had some. I get what you’re saying but it doesn’t really matter - there will be tonnes of firsts and some you’ll witness and some you won’t.
You should have a conversation though because juice and chocolate buttons are not far behind, in fact they usually come before an ice cream.

ronjobbins · 07/04/2022 07:32

Give over OP Hmm

OutingHobby · 07/04/2022 07:34

thing is she won't know what is important to you and what isn't. When my mum started looking after my LO she asked me to write a list of "firsts" that I wanted to be the one to do.
Mine was very minimal but I know when she did the same with my sister it was quite long. Would something like that work?

missingeu · 07/04/2022 07:34

My dad gave my EBF daughter a roast potato at 5 months, 20 years ago.
The look of delight on my dads face as my daughter devoured the roasite was amazing and it's a treasured memory I have of him.

Accept, your not always going to be there for your child first experiences and enjoy the delight it gives those that are.

Joystir59 · 07/04/2022 07:35

Your baby is going experience many firsts as she grows up that you may not witness. She is here to live a life, guided supported and loved by her parents, grandparents teachers friends lovers nature God the weather. You cannot control her experience. So let go a bit and be very grateful that she has lovely grandparents.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 07/04/2022 07:35

Please , please come back when your child is 8 to let us know if any other issues have eclipsed " ice cream-gate"

TurningUpMyStereotype · 07/04/2022 07:35

My child turned 18 this year and I missed her first Jagerbomb.

She probably hit that particular milestone early. 😂

maddy68 · 07/04/2022 07:36

And? She gave her something perfectly normal for a grandparent to give her.

Yadbu

TwoShades1 · 07/04/2022 07:39

I think you’re being unreasonable. My parents took my daughter to the playground and she had her first go on a swing without me there. I was a bit annoyed at the time. However my dad passed away less than a year later and I now realise how special that first time on the swing would have been for him and my mum.

PersephonePomegranate · 07/04/2022 07:39

I can sympathise that you feel like your toes have been trodden on, but when you hand your child over to someone else, that's the risk you run.

Your MIL is kindly helping you here, I think you need to focus more on the postitives - that you get a day to catch up with yourself (most people don't have that!)) and that your MIL is building a good relationship with your child.

harriethoyle · 07/04/2022 07:40

@Thisisit2022

My child turned 18 this year and I missed her first Jagerbomb.
😂😂😂😂
RosesAndHellebores · 07/04/2022 07:41

I am focusing less on the ice cream first than on the day of childcare, given lovingly and freely to allow you to have a whole day to yourself whilst you are on mat leave.

I would start counting your blessings op and stop counting firsts. You have come across as selfish and ungrateful. Just be glad your dd has two people who love her dearly and who are generous with their time as well as their love.

Arianya · 07/04/2022 07:44

You’re mad. First ice cream isn’t a thing! 😂

Herewegoagain84 · 07/04/2022 07:45

Ice cream isn’t a milestone…

NewName9273 · 07/04/2022 07:46

Fwiw I have absolutely no idea when any of my kids had their first ice cream. It's honestly not something you will remember as a milestone.

BashfulClam · 07/04/2022 07:48

You give her boring food that’s what parents do. If your grannie doesn’t get you treats is she even your grannie?

DiscoBadgers · 07/04/2022 07:48

Ask around - you won’t find a single parent who even remembers their child’s first ice cream. This isn’t a milestone and you’re being ludicrously PFB.

Whatsonmymindgrapes · 07/04/2022 07:51

Yabu