MiL gave baby first ice cream

[maloney123]

Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I’m hugely grateful to them for this. They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we’re not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste. Previously she has also tried BLW my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we’ve already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first.

I don’t mind MIL giving “normal” foods but I do feel like something like baby’s first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don’t think I’m going to say anything about it as I don’t want to appear ungrateful so I guess I’m just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!

Don't be that parent, I don't even remember when they had ice cream or cake first, I don't remember many things - once they are older you realise that the only thing that's important is that they are happy and healthy

Gosh people are being mean on here. Even if you think it’s silly, there are kinder ways of saying it than mocking a first time mum who’s upset over something.

OP, I understand; the pleasure from something sweet is different to the pleasure from something like broccoli. I know you aren’t going to say anything to your MIL and I think it’s the right decision, but I can understand why you’re sad about it. just think when the weather gets warmer about all the lovely things you’ll get to try with her.

Perhaps you have too much time on your hands leading you to over react to silly things. If you were that bothered you would be making the most of your time together before you return to work.

Why is the post about shit on Mumsnet Madness, but not this one?

Nine months old and you are already projecting food fetishes onto her.

Its just food, don't elavate it into something magical to be sought out at every opportunity.

The best thing about recording this on mumsnet is that you get to read it back in a few years and see how funny you were. I was a dick.

YABVU this is so PFB and silly. I’m sure you’ll look back on this and feel a bit embarrassed.

Have only read OPs posts.

OP. You have to let stuff like this go or you will go mad. Or you have to look after your child 24/7 yourself until they leave home.

These "firsts" are generally a bit hokey anyway. But they are for you not for your child, no? so the first time you give your child ice-cream is for you. Ad infinitum.

And if you think your MIL is a complete monster who gives the occasional sip of juice? pay for other childcare.

OP get over yourself

I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect

That is the thing I would be bothered abot TBH. Like others, I don't see giving your child their first taste of ice cream as a significant event.

If you use family for free childcare you definitely have to accept there will be moments like this . I'll be honest I do get a bit where you're coming from especially with your first when expectations fe food are high (give it a year and it's likely you won't be so worried about the odd drink of juice ) but it would be a minor peeve to me and certainly not something to bring up.

I completely understand why you are upset. You wanted that "first" and you asked her not to give any new foods However, it's not worth falling out over.

Easter is nearly upon us. Careful about first Easter egg!

You’re being daft.

@Hollywolly1

The issue here is you are putting your baby into their care once a week for a full day😱not a great idea because if it was your own mum its different as you can tell her your concerns and she will listen or most of them do.This arrangement is going to cause nothing but problems for you going forward.

What nonsense.

Yabu, if you expect grandparents to act as loco parentis then they can feed the baby what they like. If you'd rather they didn't do or experience any milestones with your baby, how about you try taking care of her yourself? How would you even address it without causing offence and making them feel they have to run every little thing by you? I'd put it to one side and move on. Maybe reiterate if there are certain foods you would like to avoid just yet such as chocolate etc.

Honestly, in years to come you will look back and laugh.
It seems a massive thing now but it really isn't, I know it is hard but try to relax on this. YABU.

There'll be sooo many other "milestones" in your child's life. Some you'll witness, some you won't.
YABU.

I think some posters have given you an unnecessary hard time! I understand entirely OP.

The good thing is, your little one will more than likely react the same when you give her her next taste! So you’ll still get to see her little gorgeous face all excited x

This is a wild thing to get annoyed about 😳

Have you given your in laws a definitive list of what firsts they have to avoid?

Did you also miss first sweet potato? First broccoli?

They aren’t mind readers and first ice cream really isn’t a “thing”. So unless you had explicitly expressed a desire to do this first you are being 100% unreasonable.

I would be more concerned about them deciding when the right time was to give a baby refined sugar. DD was over a year old when I gave her cake/ice cream. However if you are taking free childcare from them it’s difficult to police what they do. If DDs grandparents babysit I wouldn’t dream of telling them what to do (although I always send her with enough food to last the duration of the babysitting) but it’s only once a month or so so it doesn’t matter too much if they give her sugar.

I get it.
If it were important to me I think while she was describing it, I would say something like "aw I can't believe I missed her tasting her first ice cream, I'd have loved to have been there for that" then at least grandma will know that this kind of thing is important to you.
My parents in law wanted to do a lot of firsts for mine too and it drove me a bit nuts. They insisted on being the ones to give her her first pet etc. All the things that mattered to her. It has annoyed me over the years but my daughter doesn't remember any of it so it doesn't really matter

a cute milestone of having her 1st taste of ice cream? Oh dear, you're being a bit ridiculous.

YABU but I get it and your feelings are totally valid because it’s your baby and what milestones and firsts you find important or significant is totally up to you.

My only suggestion would be to politely explain to MIL that you’re also excited about seeing baby’s firsts, so if she comes across any other milestones to not tell you and let you get around to it on your own. Like.. what you don’t know doesn’t hurt you. Nursery’s often do the same with things like first steps 🙈