MiL gave baby first ice cream

[maloney123]

Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I’m hugely grateful to them for this. They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we’re not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste. Previously she has also tried BLW my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we’ve already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first.

I don’t mind MIL giving “normal” foods but I do feel like something like baby’s first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don’t think I’m going to say anything about it as I don’t want to appear ungrateful so I guess I’m just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!

[PurpleFlower1983]

YABU although I guess you know that based on answers here! I’m jealous of your day to yourself on mat leave though - that’s the stuff of dreams! Don’t jeopardise it over something so silly!

[hesbeen2021]

Weaning journey?
Milestone?
Wtf.....please ask any parent of children of any age above tiny babies what age they had their first taste of ice cream and then ask about their weaning 'journeys'......not one will recall unless they had a horrendous time with an unwell child.
Weaning is just getting solid food into a child, it's not a big deal as long as they survive and thrive, please don't make it a thing

[Porcupineintherough]

Ds1's first ice cream was immediately followed by his first allergic reaction and first (but sadly not last) trip to a&e. #making memories

[ExplodingElephants]

YABU. I never considered ice cream a ‘first’. Everything is a ‘first’ if you think about it. If you don’t want to miss out then stop sending her to her grandparent’s house.

[Polyanthus2]

Hmmmmm. I'm a DGM and am aware that feeding baby is different from when mine were small. And it's not my baby so I wouldn't eg give it a smidge of chocolate or icecream to amuse me (baby doesn't know or care)

If you know the DM doesn't give sugar etc why would you.

[IlFaitBeau]

“Weaning journey”. Jesus fucking Christ.

[OnceuponaRainbow18]

I think this is something you need to come to terms with as your daughter may take her first steps whilst with mil or say her first word etc. That’s what happens when we go back to work I guess

[WonderfulYou]

YABVU

Unless you are going to give your baby every single food in the world there are of course always going to be things that they try without you there.

There’ll also be times when they’ll ride a bike, go on a trampoline, on a slide etc for the first time without you there.

You need to learn to loosen up your control and relax as this is definitely a non issue.

[Darbs76]

Ok you’re being unreasonable. I don’t think many people would stop and think ‘no best not give her a taste of this ice cream I’m eating incase mum is upset she’s missed out on her reaction to her first ice cream’. That’s not a normal milestone people celebrate or even remember. I have no clue when any of my 3 children had their first ice cream. If they are caring for her 1 day per week (which is a really good arrangement, especially as you’re still on Mat leave, not many mothers get that full day break to sleep, catch up etc) then you have to accept this. She could take her first steps when in their care. Fortunately for me as luck would have it I did see the first steps of 2 out of 3 of my children, my middle son I walked in as the nursery were getting him to walk between 2 staff. I was absolutely fine with it, as I was back to work so of course a risk that would happen

[Chasingaftermidnight]

I can understand why you’re a bit upset because I’ve had the feeling of ‘missing out’ many times but I don’t think your MIL could be expected to know that you view ice cream as an important first. People don’t see things in the same way. And unless you’re there 24/7, you do miss some firsts. My son’s had lots of firsts at nursery. It’s hard, but if you aren’t a SAHM it happens.

Not really relevant but my son hated ice cream when I gave it to him at about that age or maybe a bit older. It was too cold.

But I can’t tell you what I’d give for my children to have loving, involved grandparents. And as for having loving, involved grandparents who are willing to provide free childcare on a regular basis… honestly, you’ve hit the jackpot. My parents once looked after my son for about 45 minutes at about the same age and they plonked him on his playmat in the corner and cracked open some wine (at 3pm in the afternoon).

[Soontobe60]

@Qwill

I say this because a friend gave my pfb birthday cake right in front of me. I was always going to be a ‘no refined sugar/processed food etc.’. At that moment, I realised it was such a small amount, I was being an idiot, they couldn’t really distinguish it from the smoked mackerel they still had on their high chair. Babies don’t give a crap at all!!!

Oh dear! You do know that smoked anything is very high in salt and therefore shouldn’t be given to babies? Smoked fish is as harmful as cake.

[IWentAwayIStayedAway]

Is this more about MIL not respecting your wishes? Do you send food for the day?

[SpringHasSprungYay]

Maybe try her on a G&T later?

[lljkk]

Weaning journey?

How would you feel if baby had this "important first" at nursery?

[dottiedodah]

I understand you.you wanted to give babe her first taste of ice cream treat. However baby will probably not even remember!.nan looked after me a lot and I remember a squabble with dad when she gave me honeycomb and too many sweets (he was very strict about tooth brushing) I would say to mil how much you value her help and how kind she is.then just say about juice or sweets or whatever. Modern parenting is much more about healthy eating for kids now

[lljkk]

@SpringHasSprungYay

Maybe try her on a G&T later?

try baby or MIL? MIL could be forgiven for wanting one, certainly.

[SpringHasSprungYay]

@Hollywolly1

The issue here is you are putting your baby into their care once a week for a full day😱not a great idea because if it was your own mum its different as you can tell her your concerns and she will listen or most of them do.This arrangement is going to cause nothing but problems for you going forward.

Don't be stupid.

[speakout]

Very strange,

Is ice cream a noteworthy food? Would you be upset if your MIL gave your baby avocado/rice cake/waver biscuit for the first time?

No one likes ice cream in our family, including my kids, so a bt of a non- issue here.

[berksandbeyond]

You’re being PFB sorry. But then I also think it’s ridiculous they’re doing a full days childcare while you’re on maternity leave🤷🏼‍♀️

[pictish]

I think you’re being precious about this…BUT I’m glad you told someone off for fantasising a scenario about you then posting as though it were fact. I hate it when people do that on here…and there’s a lot of it.
As for the ice cream, forget it….just be glad you’ve got willing grandparents to care for her. Don’t put a ban on them trying new foods either. Silly.

[Hollyhead]

Honestly get a real problem. She’ll still get her ‘first’ ice cream with you and then you can enjoy the reaction - she’s quite a way off the age where the remember what they’ve had and what they like!!!

[GregBrawlsInDogJail]

Oh FFS. The amount of "firsts" that people get exercised about the baby's grandparents doing with them is unbelievable. I can remember somebody's thread about their MIL having "stolen" a first having been the first to take the baby into a certain shop.

This so profoundly does not matter. And if you get PFB about it you will pointlessly hurt everyone, including yourself and the baby. Find a way to get over it, and accept that if you are going to let anyone else look after your baby, things will happen that you don't see.

[cptartapp]

This is the risk of free childcare, whether they want to do it or not. There'll be more incidents crop up as time goes on.
You've two choices really.

[Crimesean]

Just ask her again to check with you before introducing new foods. I'd not be fussed about ice cream being first, but I wouldn't want to give such a sugary food to a 9-month-old baby. I'd be worried they'd start giving juice, biscuits, cake etc. because they taste nice and everybody wants to make a baby smile. It's just not healthy.

[gonnascreamsoon]

@maloney123

Ok, so for you, the ice-cream was a big deal. I get it.

But if you're not having conversations with your in-laws about these things, they're not going to know, are they ?

I'd constantly be peppering my convos with them with information e.g ''We're not going to give DC juice to drink at all because ..........(insert reason)'' and ''I'm going to be SO excited when we finally let DC have 1st taste of ............(insert sweet / drink/ food) when she's 2 yrs old !''

Whatever you have planned for your DC, unless your in-laws KNOW about it, you cannot get 'upset' if they do it first, simply because they didn't know about it ffs !