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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like fucking crying?

419 replies

WeirdlyKind · 06/04/2022 15:15

My partner has a stomach bug. He caught it off the kids and he's had a couple of accidents.

Came in from work today to find the house stinking of shit. It's everywhere - our bed is going to have to be replaced, the bedroom carpet is ruined, it's on the stair carpet and the hall carpet downstairs.

I've just spent 45mins scrubbing the (tiny) bathroom because there was shit literally everywhere.

Can't really afford to buy a new bed but the mattress is heavily stained, now on both sides. It's going to cost hundreds for that and the carpets. Genuinely feel like crying my eyes out. Probably not helped by the fact he's doing nothing to help (like putting his soiled clothes in the shower rather than just leaving them). I've got piles of washing to do still too.

Aibu to be utterly fed up?

OP posts:
chaosrabbitland · 06/04/2022 15:48

my sympathies op , for everyone on here asking how can adult shit themselves from a stomach bug , well very easily , iv had an accident twice when i had noro , sadly there was nowt i could do about it at the time as i was throwing up violently into a bowl by the side of the bed, fortunatly it was on hard floor , no capet upstairs so easily cleaned up

after that tho when i got the urge to be sick i did take bowl and stagger myself into bathroom though , when its at its worst its very easy to be throwing up and before you know it the uncontrollable diarrhea starts , so i think the confusing part here is how the hell hes managed to crap every where including the stairs and hall , he must be stronger than i am cos when iv had noro is bed , bathroom,, bed , bathroom and so forth until the worst of it wears off , i just dont know what he was thinking off going all about the house when he was in that state , you literally feel so ill and weak with it , walking to the bathroom and back to bed is an effort

Original poster
WeirdlyKind · 06/04/2022 15:48

@blisstwins

Get an enzymatic cleaner like used for dog poo and use on the mattress and then bleach after. Add a mattress topper once it air dries and it will be fine. Can you rent carpet cleaners by you?
It's gone right through so I don't think cleaning it will work. And even though it's a cost we can't really afford, I really don't want to sleep on it, even cleaned.
OP posts:
CrowUpNorth · 06/04/2022 15:48

Depends what you mean 'all over the house'. Getting caught out once or even twice is quite possible, but after that you'd surely spend the rest of the day sat on the loo!

Bagelsandbrie · 06/04/2022 15:48

If he’s really that unwell that he can’t control his bowels at all and he’s producing that much shit he needs further medical advice.

TonyBlairsLover · 06/04/2022 15:48

What’s his reaction to this? I think it’s time to call 111

ComeSailAway · 06/04/2022 15:48

In the meantime get him a bucket with some cat litter in it and put it beside the bed.
And get a waterproof mattress cover for your new mattress!
You can probably get a mattress to use for nothing as a temporary measure from Facebook marketplace.

MegaClutterSlut · 06/04/2022 15:49

When all of us had norovirus it was just to two men in the house that had accidents. Tbf I didn't get much warning when I did need to go and had to leg it with not much time spare. It was awful!

He really needs to be cleaning up his own shit, I'd never clean up dhs and he wouldn't expect me too either so make him clean it up!

DrSbaitso · 06/04/2022 15:49

Although to be fair, it was a picture of a bedroom, thumbs up before the camera, and a splashy mark on the carpet that could be anything really, I suppose.

Whelmed · 06/04/2022 15:49

Yanbu!!!!Agree with PPs, why isn't he making an effort to clean up after himself? Surely after the first accident, any sane person would just take precaution and not move far from the toilet if they're unable to make it in time or wear some form of DIY nappy?

TonyBlairsLover · 06/04/2022 15:50

@DrSbaitso clearly it’s a shit mark

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/04/2022 15:50

holy crap...

He needs to stay with a bucket at either end and stop moving around.

I've covered a friends bathroom in spew (gallstones) at 4am. I bloody cleaned it before waking her to ask her to take me to a&e...

I have shit myself on a number of occasions but I ensure it can't go anywhere and if its bum-piss... then I live on the loo until it's done.

This looks like he's playing shit roulette, trying to get back to the comfy sofa or bed rather than accepting he needs to stay on the loo unless someone else needs it!

Bagelsandbrie · 06/04/2022 15:50

He does need to clean it up himself.

Original poster
WeirdlyKind · 06/04/2022 15:50

@ToiletGambles

I think he should get a different opinion, this is absolutely not normal! I would phone NHS direct and see what they say. I hope he is ok and feels better soon. Hope you find a solution for getting everywhere clean, I really feel for you.
Thank you! GP wasn't concerned and said to give it 48 hours but if he's no better by tomorrow he can ring 111. Took maybe four days to clear in the kids (and was mostly vomit) so hopefully should start to get better soon!
OP posts:
TonyBlairsLover · 06/04/2022 15:50

Throw the whole house away at this point

ladydimitrescu · 06/04/2022 15:50

@DrSbaitso

Although to be fair, it was a picture of a bedroom, thumbs up before the camera, and a splashy mark on the carpet that could be anything really, I suppose.
Oh for Christ's sake what on earth do you think someone typed into Google Images to find that? Get a grip
dwhat · 06/04/2022 15:51

Would you be able to claim on the contents insurance for carpets and stuff? Worth checking OP?

incognitoforthisone · 06/04/2022 15:51

Sorry, but this is deranged.

DP and I both had horrific food poisoning a few years ago - the kind that's serious enough for a visit from Environmental Health - and we were both essentially expelling liquid from both ends for 48 hours with unbearable and uncontrollable stomach cramps. Even with a couple of minor accidents, we absolutely did not get shit all over the house. I think a pair of pyjama bottoms had to go in the wash, and that was it.

Octomore · 06/04/2022 15:51

Having a small accident when ill is one thing, but soiling both sides of the bed, the stair/hall/bedroom carpets? What the hell?!

That isn't normal, even with a stomach bug. If it's really bad, people tend to mostly sit on the toilet with a bucket to be sick in, not just shit everywhere.

The fact that it was spread over a large area shows he wasn't so weak that he was confined to bed.

magicstar1 · 06/04/2022 15:51

First of all, get him off the couch before he ruins that aswell....or cover it in binliners. He should be sitting in the bathroom until he's better. He can leave when someone else needs it.
It's ridiculous to keep on shitting around the house. Once is an accident - what he's done is irresponsible and disgusting. He'll be spreading it to the rest of you too.

stuntbubbles · 06/04/2022 15:51

[quote TonyBlairsLover]@DrSbaitso clearly it’s a shit mark[/quote]
There’s a contingent on the thread that won’t be happy til OP posts a live video of her husband crapping everywhere, and even then they’ll claim it’s doctored.

chaosrabbitland · 06/04/2022 15:52

@Dancer47

Oh love! That needs a carpet cleaner on it asap - 24 hour rug doctor or similar, asap. Can't sort that completely by hand. Your partner being upstairs when the toilet is downstairs is the problem - he should have camped outside the bathroom if he couldn't camp out in it.
agreed , once i had norovirus and we then lived in a victorian terrace with a downstairs bathroom , i moved myself and sick bowl onto the couch so i was near to it when i felt the cramps start , staying upstairs wasnt an option ,
DrSbaitso · 06/04/2022 15:52

[quote TonyBlairsLover]@DrSbaitso clearly it’s a shit mark[/quote]
I just realised there are two photos, including one of the marked mattress as well as the carpet and thumbs up.

It could be fake, but if so, I do commend OP for the level of effort. It deserves to be taken seriously for that alone.

And if that's real, you do have my sympathy OP, and I think he needs to see a doctor. I've never known a compos mentis adult, however sick with noro, to have accidents like that.

Original poster
WeirdlyKind · 06/04/2022 15:53

@ladydimitrescu

Bloody hell op. I'm actually devastated for you. I'll admit I was 100% sceptical but you poor poor thing.
Thank you! I'm really hoping he's over the worst of it now! (and that I don't catch it!)
OP posts:
redbigbananafeet · 06/04/2022 15:53

Why is your loo being tiny 'part of the problem' toilet bowls are the same regardless of the size of the room. Stop feeding him. He must be eating a lot to ruin bedding, a mattress and 2 carpets. Pop troll

Honeymint · 06/04/2022 15:53

Some of the comments here are so harsh. If OP’s norovirus is really that bad then it’s horrific but understandable that one accident may have erm… dripped? From the bed all the way down the stairs to the bathroom.

Yes he should have camped out in the bathroom like most people with noro would but an accident is an accident, however grim it is.

@WeirdlyKind
Get a professional carpet cleaner in, they’ll be able to deal with it easy. As for the mattress I suppose it depends how bad it is.
I’d get a new one and in future, always put a mattress topper on - they add extra luxury and double up as a mattress protector in this sort of incidence!
Keep going OP, it sounds like you’re having a really awful time of it!

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