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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like fucking crying?

419 replies

WeirdlyKind · 06/04/2022 15:15

My partner has a stomach bug. He caught it off the kids and he's had a couple of accidents.

Came in from work today to find the house stinking of shit. It's everywhere - our bed is going to have to be replaced, the bedroom carpet is ruined, it's on the stair carpet and the hall carpet downstairs.

I've just spent 45mins scrubbing the (tiny) bathroom because there was shit literally everywhere.

Can't really afford to buy a new bed but the mattress is heavily stained, now on both sides. It's going to cost hundreds for that and the carpets. Genuinely feel like crying my eyes out. Probably not helped by the fact he's doing nothing to help (like putting his soiled clothes in the shower rather than just leaving them). I've got piles of washing to do still too.

Aibu to be utterly fed up?

OP posts:
liveforsummer · 07/04/2022 07:11

I can understand soiled clothing from it happening once given your bathroom is on a different level but how on earth is it everywhere. Sounds deliberate

liveforsummer · 07/04/2022 07:12

It's only happened that once in my nearly five decades of adulthood, but for those who think the the DH somehow did it deliberately, because this can't happen accidentally, think again and just be glad it hasn't happened to you.

But it sounds like
It's happened on more than one occasion and he's left the bathroom in between. Surely you'd stay there til you were confident you could leave without making even more mess?

OrlandointheWilderness · 07/04/2022 07:22

Tbh yes it is vile and horrific, but how awful he must be feeling! I'd be so worried about him, I don't think any grown adult wants to do this. Is he normally a decent sort?!?

Porcupineintherough · 07/04/2022 07:31

I have crohns disease and can absolutely understand how this happens unfortunately. Sad What I cant understand is why he's not helping with the clean up and dealing w his clothing.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/04/2022 07:35

this thread has cheered me up can it go in classic/

Really? 😳

RedHelenB · 07/04/2022 07:38

Then he needs to lie in the sofa downstairs.

catfunk · 07/04/2022 07:39

I'm assuming it was one failed trip to the bathroom with a fair amount t of damage on the way.
He should now be camping out in the bathroom, or outside the door if it's too small. Pillow, blanket, iPad/ book whatever.
If you're cleaning jt Wear gloves and a mask and open windows op or you'll almost vertically catch it.

catfunk · 07/04/2022 07:46

I also wonder if some pps calling him lazy or abusive haven't had norovirus before. I've had a couple of severe episodes and at the height of it could barely crawl to the loo let alone start changing mattresses and scrubbing carpets ?!
I've also ended up in a&e on a drip before after a bug (abroad) because I became so dehydrated that I started fitting. Again, I wasn't in any position to start acting like Mrs Hinch 😂
Big hugs to you op it's awful - I hope he's better today.

Responsiveroo · 07/04/2022 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

AnxiousHeffalump · 07/04/2022 11:19

OP, how is he today?

SallyCinnamon3009 · 07/04/2022 11:40

Do you have accidental damage on your home insurance? It will potentially pay to replace the carpets and mattress

Torres10 · 07/04/2022 21:15

I guess maybe the question is, should the situation be reversed and you have noro similarly badly...would he come home and clean up after you?
I mean, shit happens right..and I think cleaning up after someone who is ill is the considerate thing to do, but how many men would do it I wonder :)

707smile · 07/04/2022 22:55

@Porcupineintherough

I have crohns disease and can absolutely understand how this happens unfortunately. Sad What I cant understand is why he's not helping with the clean up and dealing w his clothing.
Sorry to hear! Surely the answer is that he's too ill? If I had to clean up vomit/diarrhoea whilst nauseous and close to another episode, I'm fairly sure it would make me vomit suddenly and just add to the mess. I (and other posters) have fainted with Noro before so I really cannot imagine being well enough to mop anything up if I got it.
liveforsummer · 08/04/2022 00:04

@Torres10

I guess maybe the question is, should the situation be reversed and you have noro similarly badly...would he come home and clean up after you? I mean, shit happens right..and I think cleaning up after someone who is ill is the considerate thing to do, but how many men would do it I wonder :)
Yes, this. And in a reversed situation would op just have shot everywhere and left it. I suspect not on either count
Mysteryuser · 08/04/2022 00:22

Haven't read the whole thread, but our DDog has previously had some tummy issues. I thought we would have to replace our carpet, but our brilliant steam cleaner ( which I think was about £70 from Argos a few years ago) absolutely got rid of all stains, and as far as I'm aware disinfected too. Would recommend.

Lillipops · 08/04/2022 00:29

We are quite literally traumatised by the last time we had Noro! My poor OH thought it was safe and sharted....thank god he was wrapped up in his duvet and the mattress was otherwise saved! He did however block the sink with sick whilst sat on the loo. Bathroom looked like a crime scene. One of the worst experiences of my life 😬

2Gen · 08/04/2022 14:09

Of course YANBU OP, blimey, that's horrible! I really feel for you and I was a nurse for 20 years and have cleaned up mega-tons of poo!
I agree he needs to see a doctor. Also, I'd be a bit cross he wasn't staying near enough to the loo to avoid soling everywhere and that if he's able to climb the stairs...well! Why isn't he staying in bed?
Are you able to pop out and get some loperamide/ Arrett tablets from the chemist, plus some Dioralite for the dehydration in the meantime? The loperamide will reduce the amount of defecation to enable you to "catch up" but he really does need medical attention if he's defecating that much. TBH I'm a bit baffled because I had a tummy upset a few months ago, but despite having a high temp and being as weak as a kitten, still managed to get to the loo in time to avoid soiling ANYTHING, never mind the bed and the carpets! God love you!
Perhaps some waterproof mattress protectors for your bed if he's like this? Has he always been prone to leaving messes for you to clean up? Is he by any chance a bit lazy? Obviously I have dealt with a lot of very sick people who couldn't help soiling their beds and/or clothes but they either weren't able to get out of bed or were suffering severe dementia. I find it odd that a mobile adult of sound mind would soil like this.
I hope it stops soon OP! He owes you big time for this!!!

Sswhinesthebest · 17/04/2022 03:53

I’ve had to call a distant male relative to come and help me in similar circumstances. Now that was embarrassing!

Can’t believe that just because some people have managed to get to the loo on time, they can’t believe that others have different experiences. At my worst there is no way that I would have been capable of cleaning up.

Sharpzebra · 31/12/2025 01:16

I wouldn't be mad at this poor DH must have been so unwell and not to mention embarrassed 😣

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