Friends birthday meal...I'm paying and she picked expensive place ,aibu ?

[beeleecc]

It's my friends birthday tomorrow and we are going into Manchester for shopping trip /lunch.
It's around 2 hours away and I paid for the train for us both(as it's her birthday )
I bought her a gift that was £65 and I said I would treat us to lunch at a pub.
So in my head I'm thinking £40 max.
Anyway she said she wanted to go somewhere nicer than a pub.
Anyway she was showing me the menu to a Thai place and it's gonna cost around £80 -£100 depending if she orders 2 cocktails or just 1.

Aibu to think it's a bit cheeky ?
I can't not pay now as I said let's do lunch and it's my treat.
I told her a few nice pubs and she said no to them all.

Just say sorry that’s a bit out of budget but happy to go and pay halves or pick elsewhere

Just say sorry, I can’t afford it. If we go there we have to split the cost.

Just say it’s a bit more expensive than you’ve budgeted for, so either you can go somewhere else, or she chips in to cover the extra.

Does that make me look tight?

You've already been v generous with the train tickets and gift so don't hesitate to tell her that's a bit out of your budget.

If you're spending that much it's a good friend, a good friend is someone you can say "get the boat" to. Tell her that you can't afford the expensive place and that you'll put in 40 towards it. I'd never be so cheeky, I'd get the payee to pick the place.

Tell her it's out of your budget and that she'll have to split the costs in if she wants to go somewhere expensive.

YANBU

just say that you offered to treat her to a pub lunch, if she wants somewhere fancier you’ll need to each pay for yourselves.

"I'd only budgeted for a pub lunch after the gift and train fares, but if you fancy somewhere posher we can go halves"

Just be honest and says that’s a bit above your budget. After what you’re already spending that certainly won’t make you look tight and if she reacts badly it tells you a lot about her (and none of it good)

Why on earth wod it be tight?
You've suggested the pub, she wants it more expensive she pays..surely if she's a good friend you can say this?

You won’t look tight. You’ve got a budget and if she wants to go somewhere nicer for her birthday meal and she’s happy to pay for herself then that sounds like a great compromise

Yeh if she rejected the pub lunches then it’s no longer your treat - you can split costs. Say you can cover the costs of any of the pubs you suggested but you’ll have to go halves on the Thai restaurant.

Very cheeky of her to suggest the expensive one without making it clear she’s paying her own way there.

My word, you have already been incredibly generous! I think you need to say it looks lovely but it’s out of your budget to pay for there as well. She’s already had a train ticket and £65 gift - that’s loads!

I don't understand this, presumably she's a good close friend (or you wouldn't be doing any of it) so why wouldn't you just be able to laugh "cheeky mare, I said a pub. If that's what you really want, we'll go halves."

What happens on your birthday?

Not tight at all! Like pp's have said, just let her know that's out of your budget, so if you go there you can go halves. Let her know today so it's not sprung on her, but if she's arsey about it, she's cheeky! You've been very generous already!

@SpiderVersed

"I'd only budgeted for a pub lunch after the gift and train fares, but if you fancy somewhere posher we can go halves"

Sounds fair to me.

@MoiraNotRuby my birthday she treated me to a meal but she got 40% discount as her boyfriend works at the restaurant

Why do you feel the need to pay for it all/feel bad about saying no to ridiculous demands?

She should feel embarrassed at asking for such an expensive lunch - on top of the rest. I wouldn’t ever expect a friend to buy me a present, pay for my train and buy me lunch. It’s far too much. But then to insist she wants something ‘nicer’ than what’s on offer is getting into grifter territory.

@SpiderVersed

"I'd only budgeted for a pub lunch after the gift and train fares, but if you fancy somewhere posher we can go halves"

This

Is she really a good friend?

Because she sounds absolutely awful.

Her behaviour would be so off putting for me.

In fact.

Keep the gift too.

Blimey, OP, use your words. This is CFery and you (and she) knows it. Or are you hideously rich? you've already spent a ton on her

“Ah, Jane, I’ve spent a bomb already in your birthday. I’d allowed £40 for a pub lunch (sadly we can’t use your boyfriends discount haha!) so we can stick to a pub lunch or pay for ourselves on the Thai place. Which do you want to do?”

[quote beeleecc]@MoiraNotRuby my birthday she treated me to a meal but she got 40% discount as her boyfriend works at the restaurant [/quote]
If this is the case why are you being so foolish?

You are making a fool out of yourself.