For my second 2 months old, dh and I made the decision to have a doula as my birth partner as we had no other childcare for our child at home. I didn’t want to go it alone as I was quite nervous of being mistreated, I didn’t have the best first labour.
So I hired a doula and I honestly feel robbed. Robbed not only of money (nearly £1k) but of that supportive presence during labour. I’m actually quite cross about it, of course I gave feedback on how I feel.
The woman I had, drove the wrong way to the hospital taking nearly triple the amount of time. Left me to walk from the carpark alone to the delivery unit whilst she parked the car in active labour, there were a few instances where I needed some extra advocacy when the midwife wasn’t really listening to me (nothing crazy, just preferences like my bum was facing the door and I wasn’t comfortable with being exposed to everyone in the corridor so just asked for a blanket) and nothing, no coachIng, no reminding of breathing techniques, no words of encouragement, no massage, pressure points, reminding to move around… literally nothing. She sat there on her phone and ate my snacks and drank my sports drinks. It was to the extent that the midwife even commented to leave some of the snacks for me and when the doula left 30 mins after birth on how little she did. My husband had one ask, just keep him updated. She didn’t, despite being on her phone
I feel cheated. She had good reviews but now I’m wondering if they were fake.
Was I just really unlucky? If you had a doula what was your experience like?
2 months later I still feel a bit narked about it. When I gave the feedback (said nicely but put across all the points I made above) it was oh ok, I’ll take it on board for next time. No explanation or apology. Feels like a grand wasted - aibu?