To think party guests should be fed?

[Meadmaiden]

I always thought it was the norm that if you held a children's party, you should host the guests, which includes plentiful food and drinks. I've always done this for parties I have hosted, and almost all parties I have attended have been catered.

Another poster here said it's rude to expect food to be provided at all. Personally, I think it's rude to invite guests and not feed them. Culturally especially so for me.

I've been to a couple of kids parties where there was virtually no food, or no food, other than the cake. The families in both cases could have easily afforded to cater.

What is the general consensus?

Depends on where the party is held and time of party I think. For hall parties, usually there is ample food for the children as well as the adults, and sometimes adults only food, as well as coffee, tea, etc. For parties at say, a soft play centre, if the party was 2.30-4.30, there might be a hot/cold food option for the kids (which is booked in advance) but I wouldn't personally expect to see adults food there. It would be a bonus but not expected. I think drinks options, i.e. coffee, tea, soft drinks, etc, would be preferred, maybe some pastries to go with if it's an unusual party time.

Sandwiches
Crisps
Party rings
Cocktail sausages
Mini sausage rolls
Cheap cheese and tomato pizza
Cucumber
Some fruit
Squash
Cake

This is the universal party norm! Plus hot drinks if the venue allows it. Kids eat first, adults are encouraged to dig in but generally wait until the kids are done before hoovering up leftovers.

If it's an all in party, chips and nuggets for the kids plus a few extra bowls of chips for the parents to pick at.

I'm not British but I've lived here long enough to know the rules

It depends on the time of day, I would think. Although, a selection of child-friendly "grazing" snacks is always welcomed. Kids eat like birds...about 1.5 times their own body weights every day! When mine were growing up, I planned parties to coincide with a cook-out, which meant food was, of course, both expected and provided.

I guess this will differ for different cultures. As an African, food is a big factor if not the main one for most gatherings. You are expected to cater to your guests and vice versa.
Since residing in the UK, I’ve been invited to parties and seen a different dynamic, but I’m absolutely fine with this, as I don’t expect everyone to have the same approach to entertaining guests.

Have always catered for the children and had tea:coffee/ biscuits/ sausage rolls or similar for adults. But my (UK) family culture is quite food oriented ie a party is not a real party to us without food!! 😆 But I would be happy for no food to be provided as long as I knew in advance so could make sure DC had eaten before party. This might be better by text than on the invitations, ‘no food’ could look a bit mean.

My DS is 3 and at his 1st and 3rd birthday parties (didn’t have a party for his 2nd due to covid) which we held at our home I laid on a fairly modest buffet of picky bits which were for both the children and parents. I thought it was the norm. This was an afternoon party so post lunch, 2-4pm I think. By providing a buffet children and adults can take as much or as little as they want. I think maybe it gets more complicated as they get older and you start hosting parties outside of the home at soft plays etc. And parents ‘drop and go’. But all the while I’m hosting home based parties I will continue to provide food and drink for both children and parents.

Yes I’m totally with you about food being a key part of the party! My childhood birthday memories are of eating one too many party rings!

I guess it depends on how much the family have. If they don't have much money it seems unfair that their children don't get parties because of expectations about what to provide. I've held parties where I've asked guests to bring a picnic instead of presents.

The Stunt Carrot Sticks are a party essential too.

I’d expect there to be food for the kids at a kid’s birthday party.

I’ve never been to a kid’s birthday party where there hasn’t been some sort of food provided for the kids, regardless of what time of day the party is.

Food being provided for the adults is a bonus, but not something I’d expect.

I think it’s reasonable to be expected to provide food for the guests eg a children’s party so feed the kids. If the child is an infant and parents have to come with them then I would do snacks for them, but I wouldn’t immediately assume I was entitled to food if I attended such a party myself

I wouldn't invite anyone to my house if I wasn't prepared to feed them - even if they were coming just for a cuppa and a chat, I would make sure I had some cake and biscuits in for them. However, definitely for a child's party

My kids have never been to a party without food. So yes, I would expect it. Food the grown ups is always a bonus (if we have to stay) but I would never expect that.

4 kids and I've never been to a party with no food! Usually there gas been way too much

Wouldn't dream of having a childrens party of any age (even teenagers) without providing food, be it sandwiches or pizza etc. Parents just tea and coffee if staying to help or chat.

I have never been to a children's party where there wasn't food , I think it's strange to not have party food at a children's party , even at my sons 7th birthday in March it was a late afternoon ,evening party as we had hired a gaming tent and they could only do certain times ,So we had decided on ordering aload of pizzas and sides but we know kids like to eat snacks also at a party so we also put ,crisps ,cupcakes , all differernt types of party food out before the pizza arrived , .. I have 6 children and come from a large family of a lot of youn kids and have done every party u can imagine ,the only time the find wasn't there was when they were really you g so we went to a big play centre and then went on to somewhere to eat afterwards , usually on the invites ut will say what food is being provided or if any certain allergies so if I didn't see food on the invite I would ask to be sure as kids wouldn't be having fun is you turn up expecting party food and there isn't any so I think if there isn't going to be that needs to made clear, but so far I've never came across that

So it's seems I ANBU to expect food provided at least for kids. I'm glad that almost everyone agrees, I doubted myself prior when another poster said I was rude to expect food at a party.

As many said, food is very much part of hosting guests. I always provide for all guests for this reason.

It also seems that it's those who have the least who give the most, I've noticed this too. The two families who didn't cater parties that I have been too were both well off. I know because they weren't shy about sharing details about their income (I didn't ask, they bragged!). Strange folk.

My DGD birthday is in May .when she was KS2 her mum always did whole class parties . She would do the party in the garden and hire a bouncy castle or an entertainer . The parents could stay if they wanted to and party was any time between 2pm and 6pm with hot and cold food . One mum in particular used to stay and enjoy it cos her DD has epilepsy and she wrapped her cotton wool so it meant mum could have a nice afternoon too .

Children's parties consist of, IMO, games or an age dependent activity plus food and a cake, again, according to age. In the home or at a location.
I used to do party picnics in good weather with outdoor organised games, either at home or, more often, in a decent interesting park or wooded location where there was one gy if space. We'd sometimes have a camp fire and toast marshmallows on sticks. When we had parties for older children, we'd have pizza, salads and proper sausages with coleslaw and buns or have Waitrose party plates and mini bites.

*should read, 'where there was plenty of space'.

Food for the kids, drinks and some sort of nibbles for the adults - something savoury to eat if it goes across or close to a meal time, even if just crisps.

Totally depends on the party for me - if it’s over a meal or even snack time then yes definitely cater, or in a home/hall etc then again yes. But we are currently planning my sons party which will be at a venue that doesn’t allow food (unless bought through them at over £150 extra) and we won’t have the ability to transport the amount of children to anywhere else. I plan on making sure the parents are aware their won’t be food served at the party but will probably put snacks in their party bags.

Depends on the timings! For a kid afternoon disco (age 6 party!) I did ice cream and a sweet bar in cocktail glasses …. They didn’t need sandwiches and crisps. But had a bit more sugar to keep them dancing! ….. though say them down to eat it ….. I did warn parents in advance.