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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think party guests should be fed?

198 replies

Meadmaiden · 04/04/2022 10:58

I always thought it was the norm that if you held a children's party, you should host the guests, which includes plentiful food and drinks. I've always done this for parties I have hosted, and almost all parties I have attended have been catered.

Another poster here said it's rude to expect food to be provided at all. Personally, I think it's rude to invite guests and not feed them. Culturally especially so for me.

I've been to a couple of kids parties where there was virtually no food, or no food, other than the cake. The families in both cases could have easily afforded to cater.

What is the general consensus?

OP posts:
meganorks · 04/04/2022 18:12

I wouldn't expect a meal necessarily, but definitely some food and drinks.

pilates · 04/04/2022 18:13

Kids - yes
Parents - no

Plenty of teas and coffees for the adults and if there is any food left at the end I would offer to parents.

Skybubble · 04/04/2022 18:16

I have always provided food and drinks at our Children's parties so was quite shocked when one of mine was invited to a party and there was no food and it's happened a few times since, I personally think food and drinks should be supplied for the children, it's all part of the fun.

PinkSyCo · 04/04/2022 19:04

The food at a child’s birthday party is the best part. Of course it should be provided!

FancySomeChips · 04/04/2022 19:18

Always provide party food, time of day and age is irrelevant!

It’s part of the party surely?!

Whether it’s swimming, cinema, bouncy castle or soft play, kids are always hungry after all the exertion and excitement.

I think it’s tight if not. You factor in the food price before deciding how many kids to invite or what type of party to have.
DD once went to a party at a soft play centre. The birthday children’s (twins) parent managed the health club it was being held in. Kids had fun and afterwards went into the room for the food and were presented with a bowl of green and brown mushy cold rice. And a jug of tap water. I was gobsmacked. Parents were LOADED.
Apparently the parents had decided to not pay for the food option (the only part of the party they had to cover as they got the soft play bit free) and instead serve day old cold rice. The smell was unforgettable and everyone suddenly had to go home.

It had cost me £9 train fare, £4 bus fare each way, £7.50x2 (twin party) on pressies and I was pissed off if I’m honest!! Over £30 out of pocket and not even a carton of juice was provided. Cheapskates.

RegardingMary · 04/04/2022 20:03

I'd expect a kids party to fully cater for the kids as a minimum. Even if it's just a few sandwiches, crisps and yogurts.

I did once go to a soft play party where on arrival I was asked to cover entry and then half an hour into the session the birthday mum asked whose child wanted a sandwich and then asked us all for £1.50.
As a note, I'd have just liked to be prepared to pay. At the time money was tight and the £4.50 I handed over seemed like a Kings ransom. There also wasn't a party bag or cake handed out.

thenewduchessoflapland · 04/04/2022 20:06

My son went to a birthday party at a trampoline park;it was an hour long.It was bouncing only.There were jugs of cordial for thirsty kids and a party bag with a wedge of cake and one of those pick n mix cups of sweets to take home at the end.My kid loved it and tbh so did I as it didn't take up much of the afternoon.

RegardingMary · 04/04/2022 20:07

Around here kids tend to eat the buffet and then go back to play. At this point the parents might have a nibble.

When ive done soft play they just simply cater for the kids, I do now buy the adults a coffee and cake but I know that can be expensive when you've just paid £200 for a party then gifts on top.

If its at home, a hall of I'm providing catering I generally cater a little over the adults or provide something separate but adult centered.

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 04/04/2022 20:07

@Duracellbunnywannabe

Of course it’s rude to expect something. It depends on the activity and time of day surely. I would be surprised if young kids parties cater for adults. We’ve alway done drinks for the adult but I wouldn’t expect food.
Whats the invite for if its not to share a celebration? And any kids activity means they will get hungry & thirsty pretty soon after?? Definitely food and drunks expected for a party
Duracellbunnywannabe · 04/04/2022 20:17

@WorkHardPlayHard1 it depend, if it was cinema with popcorn then I wouldn’t think there would be other food. After say a swim party it maybe impractical to share food but most people would put a drink and crisps in the party bag.

hungrymutha · 04/04/2022 20:19

I've been to a lot of kids parties lately. A couple
Of them have provided food and drinks for adults. That went down very well. All crumbs hoovered up

A few weeks ago, i went to a party where a single pot of tea was provided for the adults. I hate tea. I kept stealing the kids squash. I was parched

A bottle of pop or even juice would have been nice. Its not too much to expect is it

Personally, I like to cater for both. We put on a selection of drinks, wine, beer sandwiches and nibbles for the parents

It's about making people feel
Comfortable, welcome and have to have a nice time. Kids parties can be soo dull

CorneliusVetch · 04/04/2022 20:36

@twntho

Oh gosh this is making me think. We have my ds party coming up in a few months It's a specific activity at a venue and is between 6-7:30pm food wasn't being provided Blush maybe I should rethink this, I'm not even sure how food would work with the logistics
How old are the children @twntho? I assume if it’s a few months away, invitations haven’t gone out. Could you shift it forward half an hour and make it 5:30-7:30, with the half hour added on for food at the end? I think that’s quite a late finish for children (subject to age) so they won’t probably eat afterwards. Possibly people could eat before but I think you’d need to be very clear about that on the invitation. I hope your DS has a lovely party whatever you do!
twntho · 04/04/2022 21:04

@CorneliusVetch 7-8 years. I started my own thread after reading this to get opinions
No time changing unfortunately as they shut the entire venue for the party so that's their specific party time, it is a Saturday though so no school to worry about.
Decided we may order in happy meals and cut activity by half an hour so they can eat a meal before they go home to bed
Or do party food, but am going to feed them now Smile

PurpleFlower1983 · 04/04/2022 21:08

I would always cater for kids and adults if catering myself, perhaps just kids plus adult drinks if it was an organised activity.

Original poster
Meadmaiden · 04/04/2022 23:37

@RegardingMary

I'd expect a kids party to fully cater for the kids as a minimum. Even if it's just a few sandwiches, crisps and yogurts.

I did once go to a soft play party where on arrival I was asked to cover entry and then half an hour into the session the birthday mum asked whose child wanted a sandwich and then asked us all for £1.50.
As a note, I'd have just liked to be prepared to pay. At the time money was tight and the £4.50 I handed over seemed like a Kings ransom. There also wasn't a party bag or cake handed out.

Wow, asking you to pay to attend a party is beyond cheeky. Even worse than not providing food.
OP posts:
SharonEllis · 05/04/2022 16:45

Yes definitelyvexoect food for the kids - guests will plan around the expectation. How much probably depends on the time of day. I think its nice to offer something for the parents. I wouldn't expect a lot unless I knew them well.

Lady1576 · 05/04/2022 16:51

Definitely there should be food if you are hosting people at your house for a party. The exceptions would be: really basic studenty party for getting drunk or an activity party that is a big deal and doesn’t really include food such as a go-ape party. I also get annoyed when kids parties have nothing for adults that they know are obliged to attend and parties where people have made a crap effort, like one plate of sandwiches or a bowl of crisps for 10 adults, but I get that this is me being unreasonable!

LifesTooShortForYourNonsense · 05/04/2022 16:53

I think it’s ok not to provide food, but only if you explicitly say so, and it’s certainly not the norm. My kids went to one with a forest activity, it wasn’t at a meal time and we were told no food, because, you know, it’s a forest.

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 05/04/2022 16:56

Never in my 50 years have my kids (now adult) or I been to a party that didn't have food of some description.

NeedSomeHeadspace · 05/04/2022 17:02

Never heard of not providing food for the kids at a kids party! It's one of the highlights for them, sitting down and eating fun food. Because my son's an August boy, I'd always have a jug of Pimms / non-alcoholic refreshments for any adults opting to stay. But I didn't bother about food for the adults - any spare cupcakes would be on offer, but that was it. That's all that was ever needed, it's not like a kid's party is at grown-up dinner time.

NicolaMarlowsMerlin · 05/04/2022 17:16

I always catered for kids and adults but then I am a known feeder! Maybe an American thing as in my experience of kids parties there they just do cake and sometimes ice cream and that’s it.

bigmumsymcgraw · 05/04/2022 17:19

100% would expect child to be fed

Feeascotime · 05/04/2022 17:20

I would think children should be given something to eat. Something substantial if over lunch or tea time but definitely lighter snacks anyway. I would offer coffee/tea or a drink to parents arriving early to fetch children.

AdmiralButterfly · 05/04/2022 17:23

I don’t think it is rude not to provide it as long as the invite makes it clear there will be none. We did one no food except cake party as it was 2pm-3.30pm and the invite said please join us for activity and cake. The mention of these without the mention of other food was, I thought, clear.

Rover83 · 05/04/2022 17:28

I would expect kids to be fed, if it was 2-4 or 5:30-7:30 for example I would make sure the kids had eaten before just in case there was no food or only cake.

For my eldests 4th party I catered for parents, our first party so probably went overboard and no-one ate or drank anything, this year for my middle child's 5th party I didn't bother for adults aside from a few cans of soft drink (party 11-1) and had a couple of parents moan about the lack of provisions for them Hmm