Page 3 | To think party guests should be fed?

Meadmaiden · 2022-04-04T09:58:42+00:00

I always thought it was the norm that if you held a children's party, you should host the guests, which includes plentiful food and drinks. I've always done this for parties I have hosted, and almost all parties I have attended have been catered. Another poster here said it's rude to expect food to be provided at all. Personally, I think it's rude to invite guests and not feed them. Culturally especially so for me. I've been to a couple of kids parties where there was virtually no food, or no food, other than the cake. The families in both cases could have easily afforded to cater. What is the general consensus?

Original poster

Meadmaiden · 04/04/2022 12:48

I do agree that if adults are expected to stay, something should at least be provided for them. I've always made sure there is enough buffet food. If parents are invited to drop off kids and choose to stay it's a little different.

OP posts:

SunshineAndFizz · 04/04/2022 12:48

I'd expect food for the kids.

I once went to a wedding evening do that didn't have any food (another event you'd expect food). All the guests were starving!

LoudParrot · 04/04/2022 12:50

I'd expect food for the kids but only drinks for the adults.

Original poster

Meadmaiden · 04/04/2022 12:51

@SunshineAndFizz

I'd expect food for the kids.

I once went to a wedding evening do that didn't have any food (another event you'd expect food). All the guests were starving!

Yes, this is also very rude. I think if guests are being invited then there should be food and drink on offer, and this applies to most social occasions, especially if it spans over a meal time.

OP posts:

Nowomenaroundeh · 04/04/2022 12:52

Yes to food.

For the kids arrival - chopped up cucumber, carrots, cheese, grapes, buns, crisps. Hot food later - nuggets, sausages, pizza slice. Not an abundance of anything. Cake then a party bag home.

For the adults - tea, coffee, wine. A tray of sandwiches or pastries.

Swayingpalmtrees · 04/04/2022 12:54

You are only looking at this from your own point of view, lunch time parties tend to be best for younger children as they don't run into bath and bedtime.
Why can't you have a late breakfast and an early supper? Why would any parent organising a party for their child sit there and consider when xx might want to eat lunch. It is not something most people factor in, as they assume people will work around it, and they normally do.

If you are hosting a big party of the whole class, as I would normally do throughout primary aged children, you are looking at 30-38 children, add all the parents as well and under your assumption the parents will be catering for 70 odd at least, some people rock up as couples. So it could be closer to 80-85. Are you seriously expecting parents to to provide catering for that many????? Just because you they can't eat a quick sandwich or an apple before they leave.

Painiscrap · 04/04/2022 12:55

@Rebecca1305

I agree with *@TonkaTruckduck* about present grabbing I went to a friends child’s party at her house it was over lunchtime and there was barely enough food for the kids let alone adults I was starving. They also had to cheek to serve the cake get us all to sing and not even cut it or give any in the party bags!!!!! all my toddler had talked about was cake before the party. The word tight comes to mind …if your expecting gifts etc then the least you can do is offer out the bloody cake which wasn’t even an expensive one (can you tell I’m annoyed 😄) I am hosting a party for my child soon and I will be cutting the cake there and then to dish out and il also be providing buffet style food for the kids and crisps-drinks snacks for the adults. I think it’s tight and rude not too.

I think it is unreasonable to expect the adults to be fed at children’s parties! You are out of order for calling people tight and rude, because they aren’t feeding you!

When my children were young and had parties, I always had wine/drinks and snacks when parents called to collect their children, but I wasn’t upset if others didn’t. You don’t always know people’s financial situations, and many parents won’t be able to afford to feed the adults as well as the children, so should their children not have parties? I think that as long as there is enough food and drinks for the children that’s all that matters!

Original poster

Meadmaiden · 04/04/2022 12:56

@Swayingpalmtrees

You are only looking at this from your own point of view, lunch time parties tend to be best for younger children as they don't run into bath and bedtime. Why can't you have a late breakfast and an early supper? Why would any parent organising a party for their child sit there and consider when xx might want to eat lunch. It is not something most people factor in, as they assume people will work around it, and they normally do.

If you are hosting a big party of the whole class, as I would normally do throughout primary aged children, you are looking at 30-38 children, add all the parents as well and under your assumption the parents will be catering for 70 odd at least, some people rock up as couples. So it could be closer to 80-85. Are you seriously expecting parents to to provide catering for that many????? Just because you they can't eat a quick sandwich or an apple before they leave.

I'm just talking about catering for the children. Surely you do that, even if it is a big party?

I have had birthday parties with over 70 guests, for what it's worth, and catered for everyone. If you can't afford that many guests, then don't invite them.

OP posts:

Swayingpalmtrees · 04/04/2022 12:57

I am talking about a kids party op

stimpyyouidiot · 04/04/2022 12:58

I feed adults as well as children. Especially if over lunch. Taken dd to many parties that are over lunchtime and been starving not even allowed a Jaffa cake. I don't expect food from anyone else though, it's just a thing I do at my dd's parties.

Clymene · 04/04/2022 13:02

@Meadmaiden

I mean for the kids. Though I have always catered for the adults too. I'm not talking anything necessarily fancy: a simple home made spread would suffice.

Even if between meal times, children are usually ravenous, and even more so if doing activities in my experience.

It seems most are in agreement, though there is the odd poster here who doesn't cater.

For the no food parties, I left early as it reached a mealtime and my children were hungry.

Yes of course you feed children when you invite them to a party

FloBot7 · 04/04/2022 13:02

I'm in my 30s now but I don't remember a single party from my childhood where food wasn't served. My parents were broke and still put on a spread of sandwiches, sausage rolls, crisps, cupcakes etc when we had parties.

Original poster

Meadmaiden · 04/04/2022 13:10

@Swayingpalmtrees

I am talking about a kids party op

So am I!

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Phormiumjester2 · 04/04/2022 13:10

@Swayingpalmtrees

You are only looking at this from your own point of view, lunch time parties tend to be best for younger children as they don't run into bath and bedtime. Why can't you have a late breakfast and an early supper? Why would any parent organising a party for their child sit there and consider when xx might want to eat lunch. It is not something most people factor in, as they assume people will work around it, and they normally do.

If you are hosting a big party of the whole class, as I would normally do throughout primary aged children, you are looking at 30-38 children, add all the parents as well and under your assumption the parents will be catering for 70 odd at least, some people rock up as couples. So it could be closer to 80-85. Are you seriously expecting parents to to provide catering for that many????? Just because you they can't eat a quick sandwich or an apple before they leave.

I've been to tons of class parties and they always feed the kids! The parents aren't catered for. They might grab a crisp or a sandwich whilst they help their kids out.

What you're describing isn't UK kids party culture from anyone's poit of view! Of course you feed the kids! Or invite fewer!

Sartre · 04/04/2022 13:13

Food is generally included with party packages anyway so I’m surprised so many don’t have food. I’d at least expect the hosts to sort buffet type foods if hot food isn’t included with the package.

Greensleeves · 04/04/2022 13:14

I always fed everybody who was staying. It's cultural anathema to me to have people standing around hungry, watching others eat. Party food isn't particularly expensive if you do it yourself, and if I couldn't afford to feed people then we wouldn't have a party.

Dameputtingonabraveface · 04/04/2022 13:16

I have a teen now but I seem to remember the food is something the children look forward to- it is part of the anticipation and excitement. Nothing fancy, in fact just a buffet of cheap and cheerful picnic food likes little sausages, sausage rolls, party rings etc which is a treat for most children but not hard or expensive to arrange. It also allows a bit of a 'break' from whatever is going on and adds some structure to, and fills some, the time. Adults would hoover up left overs and the cake would be served and everyone sings happy birthday and birthday child enjoys being centre of attention. Then is is very much the home run until home time. I have never been to a children's party with no food, even when people have booked a soft play party at 9:30 on a Sunday.

Swayingpalmtrees · 04/04/2022 13:16

I would aways serve children food, drinks and cake - as well as a party bag to take away. I would offer parents wine, warm drinks and nibbles. I would not be serving the parents lunch as well!
We always hosted whole class parties so that no one would feel left out, and we found most parents would stay to catch up even when the children were older so catering for adult lunch as well en masse when it is not supposed to be a party for adults would be very expensive and stressful.

But yes to always providing food for the invited guests!

Original poster

Meadmaiden · 04/04/2022 13:18

Would the 23% who said it's unreasonable to expect kids to be catered for like to explain why?

Apart from one poster who said they invite so many they can't feed them, no one else is coming forward to say they don't feed guests.

OP posts:

Swayingpalmtrees · 04/04/2022 13:19

Sorry if I did not make that clear - yes children would always be fed.

Funkyslippers · 04/04/2022 13:20

I wouldn't expect food if it's between mealtimes, apart from cake and maybe a few biscuits.

One of the most bizarre parties I went to was similar to a PP - we sang Happy Birthday as the lovely cake was brought out and birthday girl blew out the candles, only for it to be swiftly put back in the box and all the kids got was a little fairy cake! But this was the mum that made a big deal about inviting us for brunch one day and it turned out to be 1 croissant

2Rebecca · 04/04/2022 13:20

I see food as an essential part of a children's party and would expect it to be included and if it isn't for the invite to clarify that. If the party is mid afternoon I wouldn't expect the adults to be fed but I didn't bother with kids parties until the children were old enough to come unaccompanied

Swayingpalmtrees · 04/04/2022 13:21

It is very mean to have a kids party and no food! Mine would be most disappointed.

twntho · 04/04/2022 13:24

Oh gosh this is making me think. We have my ds party coming up in a few months
It's a specific activity at a venue and is between 6-7:30pm food wasn't being provided
maybe I should rethink this, I'm not even sure how food would work with the logistics

girlmom21 · 04/04/2022 13:26

I would offer parents wine, warm drinks and nibbles. I would not be serving the parents lunch as well!

You'd offer wine but couldn't bang a pizza in the oven? Sorry but that seems batshjt to me and I wouldn't want to send my child to a house where parents couldn't handle a few kids without cracking put the wine on a Saturday lunchtime