To think party guests should be fed?

[Meadmaiden]

I always thought it was the norm that if you held a children's party, you should host the guests, which includes plentiful food and drinks. I've always done this for parties I have hosted, and almost all parties I have attended have been catered.

Another poster here said it's rude to expect food to be provided at all. Personally, I think it's rude to invite guests and not feed them. Culturally especially so for me.

I've been to a couple of kids parties where there was virtually no food, or no food, other than the cake. The families in both cases could have easily afforded to cater.

What is the general consensus?

Food and drink for the children, the adults have tea, coffee and biscuits.

Any kids party I have been to or had there has been party food for the children. Adults don't tend to stay. If it is a party adults and children are invited too then there has usually been food for everyone. Never been to a party without food or drink.

I’ve been to over 30 parties. And not one has catered for adults. It’s bizarre that any one would suggest they should. You’re really expecting the host to double the cost so you can have soggy nuggets and chips at a soft play?

Depends on the type of party and time of party. If it’s like a trampolining party at a sports centre or basically an activity type party then it’s totally acceptable not to have food. If it’s like a party at someone’s home or a village hall etc and at a time when people would normally eat then it’s not unreasonable to expect food provided for children.

If I went to a party with no food, I would leave and never visit that person again. Likewise, I ALWAYS expect to serve food when I have guests. Maybe it's cultural, but I don't know of any culture where it isn't a point of HONOR to feed the guests. In most cultures, the more food and refreshment that is provided, the more honor accrues to the host. A party means food and drink, and I don't think I EVER went to a party where there was NO food. It's not only ungracious, cheap and mean, it's beyond selfish and stupid. The idea that one doesn't have an obligation to one's guests is a sign of how self-centered, mean and lacking in courtesy and compassion American culture has become.

The only exception might be if the host told everyone IN ADVANCE the no food would be served, and there was an exceptional reason for that: I can't even think of one except perhaps a sudden illness in the host's family, but at the very least, the host could serve water and some kind of small refreshment like cookies or crackers or nuts.

I would also like to add that it's courteous to bring a small gift for the host to a party, and this can include wine, flowers, candy, etc. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, or influenced from living in countries where hospitality is taken very seriously, but I cannot emphasize enough that we would be a better nation if we were to remember the ancient Greek saying, "The guest is God."

Definitely serve food for both adults and children - it kills a bit of time for one! I’ve only been to parties in the UK and France, but all have been very similar. Buffet food for adults and children and soft drinks, wine, beer, coffees teas etc. I went to one in the UK that had a fully catered party including a cocktail bar - think that was my favourite 😂

P.S. When I wrote I was thinking of ALL parties to which you are invited, or which you host. Of course, if it's a party for CHILDREN, it would not be appropriate to bring wine, but otherwise, I still think that parties should include food and drink for the guests.

Frankly if your child’s host cannot provide lovely birthday food, entertainment for the children, goody bags and drinks and crisps for parents collecting, I would turn it down, did 12 years of these in Sevenoaks, one for 60 #saynotosiblingsIlearned !!

I host kids birthday parties. So Ive seen dozens. The booker can book me to provide food but if they don't they always provide food for the kids. I've never seen an uncatered party. Parents range from doing extravagant fruit platters sandwiches, themed cupcakes and more to a multipack of crisps, cake and cocktail sausages but theres ALWAYS food. Adults attending are not normally provided for.

Absolutely there should be food. Contrary to what some people believe, children love eating little sandwiches and sausage rolls, etc., yes, they obviously love sweets & cakes but also savoury food. How cheap can you be putting on a party and not doing food? It hardly costs the earth.

I put so much effort into my 3 year olds birthday party this year as it was the first proper party 🎈 he had ever had with nursery friends. I hired a hall and mobile soft play, decorated, hand made party bags, did music and disco bubble machine, I really wanted it to be perfect. Kids loved it BUT I failed on the food. Only provided boxes of raisins and mini oats bites, largely to minimise Covid risk. We had birthday cupcakes too. I made 20 cheese rolls to take away for the play area nearby but I should have made these available at the party. I still obsess over the cheese rolls. I made teas and coffees and biscuits for parents.

100% needs to be food at a children's party.

My pet hate is when there is an extravagant birthday cake on display that all the kids eye up and admire, only to be fobbed off with a cupcake at the end and not a slice of the cake that's been teasing them for hours.

Of course food should be provided! I can’t believe some posters think that food shouldn’t be expected. What the hell is a party for other than to provide food and drink to celebrate in exchange for company, cards and gifts. Ridiculous

I think the people who do not cater for children (at the very least) at a party are generally tight-fisted, especially when you delve into their personality. I mean who would ever host a party and not provide food and refreshments for their guests.

If it's the time of day that a meal would be served then definitely the party should be catered for all (adults and children alike). If it's not a meal time I think the expectation would be to have nibbles around and if you weren't doing that for some reason you should politely let parents know.
We hosted our first children's party recently, spent most of the budget on venue, bouncy castle etc but still managed pizzas, sausage/ veggie rolls, crudités with dips, crisps, cakes etc. as well as the birthday cake. We had squash and some cans of soft drink. It wasn't fancy but everyone was fed!

Never heard of any kind of party that does put food on for guests, kids of adults parties.
Even at a wakes food is always there, when most aren’t in a eating mood, not that a wake is party time but it’s people getting together.

Can’t imagine having a kids party and not catering for the kids, I find it weird that people don’t think it’s weird.

@RegardingMary

Around here kids tend to eat the buffet and then go back to play. At this point the parents might have a nibble.

When ive done soft play they just simply cater for the kids, I do now buy the adults a coffee and cake but I know that can be expensive when you've just paid £200 for a party then gifts on top.

If its at home, a hall of I'm providing catering I generally cater a little over the adults or provide something separate but adult centered.

@RegardingMary

Oh wow I would have left just for the absolute audacity of it.
All good if they said this on the invite but that’s a piss take.

Oh of COURSE the kids get fed at children’s parties!!! What ridiculousness IS this, even discussing it!

My mum I can remember once doing pre prepared all the food on to paper plates for each child for my brother birthday.

I definitely think it’s a cultural thing as you say OP.
All of my friends growing up were from non English cultures and their parties were massive feasts for all, no expense spared! More recent example is a friends’s DD 1st bday was in a large hall and again, the food was incredible and plentiful for both adults and children even though money is very tight for them.
So my view of party food is definitely influenced by my experiences.
Funny enough, I find the richer the English person is (I’m talking about £5mil+ homes in Notting Hill), the more miserly or non existent the party food offerings are 😂 I guess they’re rich for a reason!

I always provide food at parties I think it would be rude not to

My dd has probably been to about 50 parties. Several not over a meal time. She has never once not been fed. It’s the norm to feed children. As for feeding parents, when dd was younger, I provided cake (not the birthday cake) or similar and drinks.

I’d do food at a kids party. But if my daughter attended one with no food, that would be fine too.

My two are bigger now, last parties pre covid. However we always catered. One party was at Lush, at 4pm. They had rules about food being there, so I made up little boxes for them to take away at 6.30pm and warned parents beforehand.
That said, I'm not against not feeding them at parties if they're obscure times, that wouldn't naturally include a meal time ie 10-12pm as that means feeding them at 1115/1130am

I would always provide food but I wouldn't judge another parent for not providing food.