Teachers- be honest please - do you judge or make assumptions?

[BlingLoving]

And if so, how often are you right?

eg when the kid turns up on day one with crazy curls, no hair tie (especially boys) do you immediately think, like I do, "oh no, this family is going to be a bit precious."

Or if the kid's clothes are consistently stained etc, do you chalk that up to parents having limited cash and taking view that school uniform is to be worn (my approach) or do you think they're just careless?

What about the ones who struggle to spend the time doing homework with their DC? Do you think they're just bad parents or are you sympathetic?

@RobotValkyrie - why the attitude?

When my dc were at primary many moons ago, cofe leafy, the uniform from reception was for boys: white shirt, tie, grey shorts or trousers, black shoes, grey Jersey and for girls: grey tunic or skirt, white shirt, tie, grey Jersey or cardigan, grey tights, grey or white socks and a blue/white dress in summer.

In short every child from age 4 had to wear a collar and tie and I fully supported the HT introducing a stricter, badged uniform because the dc were getting sceuffier and scruffier and wore every shade of grey unde rather sun and fleece was creeping in.

However with a uniform that strict I did judge staff who came to work in flip flops, tee shirts, had piercings, etc. Fine at the beach at weekends but not when every four year old was in a collar and tie.

It was not an issue in the independent sector funnily enough.

I used to support uniform but funnily enough the older I get the less I do. The majority of French children look so much better in jeans, trainers, sweatshirt than the British children I see in a polyester blazer, rolled over skirt, ankle socks, tie skew whiff and scruffy shoes.

I used to support uniform but funnily enough the older I get the less I do.

Same here. I find most of the arguments in favour of uniform absurd and untrue (particularly those relating to school ethos, pride in the school, effect on behaviour etc, which are patently nonsense). And even the potentially more arguable reasons fall down once you admit that most of the rest of the world manages perfectly well without school uniform.

The majority of French children look so much better in jeans, trainers, sweatshirt than the British children I see in a polyester blazer, rolled over skirt, ankle socks, tie skew whiff and scruffy shoes.

Also true.

And rolled up skirts so horrendously short paired with laddered tights. I sadly speak as a mother of teen girls.

@RobotValkyrie any parent who says this We pay your wages, through taxes can be judged fairly easily. Youre really quite unpleasant, arent you.

When I read threads like this I’m so glad DT’s went to a (high achieving) non uniform school. No fashion shows, no bullying and no time and money wasted on ridiculous school uniform clothes

RobotValkyrie any parent who says this We pay your wages, through taxes can be judged fairly easily. Youre really quite unpleasant, arent you.

I don't believe so.

I think the post was aimed at the judgemental teachers making assumptions about DC based on their names or hair styles.

Good caring teachers are amazing and have the power of making life so much better for DC.

They deserve the right tools and support to do this.

I find teaching in the England is too involved in the parenting side supplementing stationary, fines for absences, supervision of DC dressing and undressing for PE, worksheets.

There isn't enough responsibility given to the DC to organise and look after their own books and pencil case.

I'd imagine it is frustrating with P1's on PE days.

@ohfook

We have to. Because anything that seems not right we have to report in case it's part of a bigger picture and I'd expect/hope that my kid's teachers are doing it to them too. I've reported a lot of things over my career that have looked a bit off but amounted to nothing (suspicious bruises, kids saying they have to share a tooth brush) but I don't care because I've also seen fairly innocuous things turn out to be the disclosure that revealed something serious. So I'd rather make 100 mistakes that turn out to be nothing than relax and miss something serious.

When teachers say report though they don't mean call social services and have your kids taken off you until you agree to put a bobble in their hair. It's just an online system where we type up anything that doesn't look right, so a lot of small things that don't look right are all kept in one place in case they start to add up.

On a personal note unruly hair or recurring nits are not something I would give a second thought too. Matted hair would raise alarm bells though and I do judge people whose kids and their homework smell of smoke and who don't give their kid a toothbrush.

That's not judging,that's safeguarding.

My son has long hair he wont let it be cut, I understand why, when he was little his father would give him a military style buzzcut hold him down if necessary, the man was obsessed with "long hair makes boys look like girls and they will get bullied at school for it" 2 inches was too long for him.

the opposite was the case tho and my son got bullied for looking like a skinhead, so since his father left he's been very opposed to having his hair cut.

I really dont care what the school thinks about his long scruffy hair, they could ask.

On the sock thing: Mine ended up being allowed to not wear uniform that caused sensory issues so no socks. They even went through a period of wearing flipflops to school.

@Hesma

It’s not being judgy, it’s being observant to safeguarding issues. If my being judgy saves a child’s life then I’ll judge away

Fair enough if you're judging the wellbeing of the child, but op is taking about any boy with untied curly hair basically being destined to be a waster to Liberal parents. That's not safeguarding

If you’re going down the ‘we pay your wages’ route, then teachers also pay their own wages through their own taxes.

@hiredandsqueak

Dgs has a head of curls, it's not long hair as such as it only reaches his collar. Each time dd has it cut his hair gets bigger not shorter as without the length to pull the curls down the curls just get tighter. It's not long enough to tie back. I'm incredulous that dd and dgs could be judged purely because of hair they can do nothing about particularly as dd is completely opposite of the sort of parent who you assume have boys with long curls.

Shave it very short?

Shave it very short?
If we're stereotyping, I'd take a kid with a head full of curls over a kid with basically a skin head. And the kids with the "craziest" hair have been affro-Caribbean heritage. Are we saying they should all habe a grade 1 because their hair doesn't conform to neat tidy ponytails?

The parent's who I judged..... does not fill me with confidence that teachers will support families! I have done everything the school requested yet my child still struggles at school but is happy and pleasant at home. The school still makes me feel that I am the problem and I am not doing enough, despite knowing I am doing everything they want and tell me to do. I feel that teachers being judgemental towards families and refusing to admit there are issues in school can also be a problem...

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