Teachers- be honest please - do you judge or make assumptions?

[BlingLoving]

And if so, how often are you right?

eg when the kid turns up on day one with crazy curls, no hair tie (especially boys) do you immediately think, like I do, "oh no, this family is going to be a bit precious."

Or if the kid's clothes are consistently stained etc, do you chalk that up to parents having limited cash and taking view that school uniform is to be worn (my approach) or do you think they're just careless?

What about the ones who struggle to spend the time doing homework with their DC? Do you think they're just bad parents or are you sympathetic?

@Pumperthepumper

I googled it, and dominatrix is about right.

Yes but they said the woman was wearing them!!! I'm too invested 🤣

@Giraffesandbottoms

Uniforms aren’t only there because of equality; wearing a different and specific set of clothing to a school environment has an effect on learning. The same way that many people working from home work more productively wearing actual clothes rather than pyjamas. It’s also smarter, makes children easier to identify on school trips and stops people from sending their children in in godawful outfits like head to toe Burberry etc.

Effect on learning- if you mean positive or significant, newest research seems to contradict that including the fact that kids that had a uniform had less of a sense of belonging.

Smarter - debatable

Identifiably- high vis vests. Many schools use them on top of uniform,there must be a reason for that.

Head to toe in Burberry- any proof or personal experience of that? Or just another assumption. And even if real.. are the clothes comfy and appropriate for the weather? That's good enough.

Most of these arguments and rules are not necessarily based on facts. A lot of them are based on prejudice and assumptions, and very willing to think the worst of parents/pupils.

Probably was guilty of it but not since having my own kids! Their uniforms are never clean and homework is often late but I like to think they are well looked after... Have frequently been proved wrong by stereotypes in my career.

@Borracha

As a parent, this is quite disturbing.

Observing issues that could signal neglect or other concerns is one thing. But judging a family based on their nationality or chosen hairstyle is quite another.

Agreed.

No uniform in d's school but they all seem to arrive in clothes that are practical. They do all seem to end up in a uniform of sorts anyway as everybody wears jeans/jeggings, trainers/converse, hoody/sweatshirt.

My autistic boy is starting school soon and he has long curly hair- never been cut. I'm a bit worried now...
I brush it everyday and tie it up into a high bun bit bits do escape. Curly hair goes everywhere and it's very annoying for kids if it's in their eyes or mouth when eating.

People notice patterns, and if they tell you they don't they are probably fibbing.

When I was working in a school with a population that was mainly low income, it was very clear that there was a pattern in terms of demographics and support at home. The first generation immigrint families with little English were hugely supportive of their kids education and went to a lot of trouble to get them extra help, to educational events in the community, etc. Mainly these were middle eastern parents with a few from east Asia.

The "local" families, mainly white or black and having been here for generations, were much more likely to be struggling, single parents or blended families, and were not able to offer the same help. Many had struggled for a few generations and there were problems that kept them there be it addiction, baked in family problems, or other issues of that kind. The newer families were low income because they were mostly refugees and didn't speak English well. It was pretty clear they would not be in our school area in the next generation.

Now, is that a moral judgement? No, there were a few parents who were, frankly shits, or selfish people who didn't give their kids the attention they deserved. Some of them who had serious issues were really frustrating. Some situations were sad. But to a large degree it's possible to notice patterns like this, and try and help where possible, without seeing yourself as being in a position to make pronouncements around people's worth.

But yes, there are demographic patterns that hold true a lot of the time, and the long haired boys being middle or upper middle class and politically liberal is certainly one that seems to follow a lot of the time.

This has been really interesting to read. I am not a teacher but I am a parent of a school aged child. I am happy to be judged it doesn;t matter one iota to me. Judge away!!! I judge the teachers on how they perform for my child and if it is not quite working as well as it should then I say so, if they have any concerns about my child in any way i expect them to feel like they can bring it up too. I really value openness and if the staff want to know something bloody ask ,ask me why her homework wasnt done or her reading book wasnt signed or tell me that she spent all day trying to do her hair cos it kept falling out. Its not us and them and it shouldn;t be either.A lot of bad feelings and negitivity between parents and teachers I reckon could be ironed out by being honest with each other,Really sorry Mrs XXX She hasn;t done her homework this weekend cos she was really awkward and totally refused,I was not spending my weekend looking at her with the face of a wet weekend and arguing anymore about it,Keep her in at playtime and make her do it if you want! note has gone in to my childs class more than once! Its not that I don;t care I pick my battles and whilst her tables might not have been done she learned lots,for example that arguing with mum is not going to get you anywhere cos you will still have to do your homework in the end one way or another, I don;t mind judging as long as at the end of the day we can come together regardless by trying to do right by the very thing that connects us both,You don;t have to like me nor I you but its not about us,it never will be or it should never be, I have had teachers say "oh you are not at all like I thought you would be " when things needed sorting over the years and that genuinely makes me smile I am not a bit offended when I hear that!

[quote ldontWanna]@Caszekey Supernatural fan?😬[/quote]
Yes but what does that tell you about my children?

Then I’d have to ask why on earth you’d give your year 1 child Harry Potter to read. I can believe the rare child is capable and still think it’s a bad idea.

Why? My dc loved it when they were 6 and they still love it now (age 14 and 16).

You can’t possibly get the full benefit of everything Harry Potter has to offer if you read it with a 5/6 year old instead of waiting a few years until that child is old enough to get the best out of the whole series.

They tend to read it over and over and gain more from it each time. That is not a bad thing. At all.

I’d have to write a whole essay to explain all my reasons for wishing my year 1 children didn’t read Harry Potter.

Sounds like a fascinating essay . Maybe it would be better to be glad that they are reading, and reading things they want to read. Better than bloody Biff and Chip. The school books my dc brought home made them (and me) practically lose the will to live.

Irritatingly, school is still trying to make reading as boring as possible for my voracious reader ds at age 14 by insisting that he always picks books from the very highest tier of difficulty rather than books he's actually interested in.

I’m sure they’re not deliberately trying to bore him.

@AnAverageMum

I have 3 children, my eldest is in reception. She goes to a good school, shirt, blazer, tie etc. I don’t ALWAYS iron her shirt 9/10 but when I don’t have time I definitely feel like I’ll/she’ll be judged for creases.

She’s also the messiest kid in the world so always has stained shirts! They’re clean/white but paint stains etc… I’m not going to buy new every month, economically it would be insane.

I also don’t read the book she brings home with her often. We read a book or more than one every single night at bedtime but normally I forget totally about the book bag book. I’m completely devoted to my children and love them endlessly.

So uniform + reading the books I don’t think necessarily are the greatest indication of neglect. 🤷🏼‍♀️

None of that matters. We only care about what they're called 😂😂

Probably the teachers are locked into a curriculum they don't agree with which is policed by SLT. As that's what happens generally. Teacher could do so much more if given the freedom to do what we think we should.

We can conclude that our children are suffering through a deeply flawed education system, and being taught by angry judgmental teachers who instead of educating children complain they work harder than anyone else and seem to hate most children based on name, hair type, make assumptions about parents politics, income, parenting style, etc.

let me tell you teachers - your names suck, your hairstyle also sucks, I don’t like your clothes, your hygiene could be improved, your roots need a touch up, your shoes are cheap, you are not as smart as you think you are, and my child will succeed regardless of how you feel about his gorgeous long curls. Bah!!

Brilliant @RazzlePuff so I presume you will be withdrawing your child from state education to home educate them?

Oh wait...

I don't hate children. I love my class. I care about them deeply. I spend more time either them each week than their parents. I teach them so much more than the national curriculum. But yeah I'm not smart 🤣

@sweetbellyhigh

My favourite names have been
Markus-Jon
Betty-Blue
Beyoncé
Armarni
Aleeeyesha
Riley
Rileee
Rhileye

Jayden / Tyler and Bailey ! - also always makes me shudder .

Hahaha!

I won’t do anymore or I could
Out myself ! Hahahaha

@Giraffesandbottoms

Uniforms aren’t only there because of equality; wearing a different and specific set of clothing to a school environment has an effect on learning. The same way that many people working from home work more productively wearing actual clothes rather than pyjamas. It’s also smarter, makes children easier to identify on school trips and stops people from sending their children in in godawful outfits like head to toe Burberry etc.

An oft-repeated myth.

The children of the many countries who do not subscribe to uniform madness can testify to this.

There is no school uniform at local primary schools where I live and you know what? It's not an issue. Not one bit. Kids get up, put on their clothes and go to school. End of story.

@sweetbellyhigh
Marky-Jon

Damn auto correct!

Harri-Bo ! Also made me laugh !

Parker
Harrison
Cole
Scout

Also very telling !

@RazzlePuff

We can conclude that our children are suffering through a deeply flawed education system, and being taught by angry judgmental teachers who instead of educating children complain they work harder than anyone else and seem to hate most children based on name, hair type, make assumptions about parents politics, income, parenting style, etc. let me tell you teachers - your names suck, your hairstyle also sucks, I don’t like your clothes, your hygiene could be improved, your roots need a touch up, your shoes are cheap, you are not as smart as you think you are, and my child will succeed regardless of how you feel about his gorgeous long curls. Bah!!

Quite a lot of this is true. The education system is deeply flawed and teachers as a rule are not good at voting with their feet. And, my roots do need a touch up.

[quote Myboypink]@sweetbellyhigh

My favourite names have been
Markus-Jon
Betty-Blue
Beyoncé
Armarni
Aleeeyesha
Riley
Rileee
Rhileye

Jayden / Tyler and Bailey ! - also always makes me shudder .

Hahaha!

I won’t do anymore or I could
Out myself ! Hahahaha[/quote]
Mine have been

JackDaniels
Chirs (they meant Chris but didn't know how to spell it)
Big John and his brother Lil John

Oh god, more xenophobia with the name shit. Im embarrassed for you.

*Parker
Harrison
Coke
Scout
*
🤔
Are these the most common names? They seem pretty average to me.

Cutest was a class of new entrants which included children named

Milo
Coco
Sugar

Teacher held a breakfast party and they all brought their favourite cereal or drink

Secondary teacher and parent; genuinely never judge, every child is an individual and I am observing with interest all children as I get to know them. Never judging even once I know the child, just reporting any safeguarding issues as is my responsibility. For the record these issues arise across class, nationality and circumstance.