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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious mum is alone in hospital?

290 replies

EmmaH2022 · 04/04/2022 00:15

I know I'm not
Mum is in a hospital corridor going into hour 6 after a suspected heart attack
They wouldn't let me go with her
Did they inject everyone with insanity?
She's 83.

I should be worried that she's going to die, but something about dying on a trolley gives me the RAGE. I wish I'd been here. I would never have let them take her to the hospital. I could at least have tried a private one.

No one answers the phone at the hospital obviously.

What happens if i just turn up in the morning?

OP posts:
WindowsSmindows · 04/04/2022 00:20

So what exactly happened?
You wish you'd been there
And also they wouldn't let you go with her?
I don't understand, is it because of covid rules?
Are there private hospitals where you are, that deal with suspected heart attacks?

StoneofDestiny · 04/04/2022 00:22

Same thing with an in law right now - hours spent waiting for an ambulance and a warning no visitors allowed and massive queue at hospital waiting on doctors. In law is late 80's.

Last year - 15 hours on a corridor.

Understaffed, underfunded and exhausted staff.

NoSquirrels · 04/04/2022 00:22

I’m so sorry your mum’s not well. Feeling helpless is awful.

How do you know she’s in a corridor if you can’t get through on the phone?

StoneofDestiny · 04/04/2022 00:22

Covid is rife - no visitors.

Hapoydayz · 04/04/2022 00:23

YANBU people need someone to help and support them in hospital especially now when so often the care is terrible, really feel for you and keep phoning and doing everything you can to advocate

Blossomtoes · 04/04/2022 00:25

So very sorry. I’d have been distraught in your position. It‘s inhuman.

Freddiefox · 04/04/2022 00:27

@StoneofDestiny

Covid is rife - no visitors.
For how long?
Porcupineintherough · 04/04/2022 00:27

@StoneofDestiny

Covid is rife - no visitors.
Given how rife COVID is I'm not sure allowing visitors will make any difference.
Original poster
EmmaH2022 · 04/04/2022 00:48

The paramedic saw her still on a trolley hours after he took her in, she asked him to ring me.

They think she's had a heart attack so I could have taken her to a private place in the morning. Yes, there sort of is...I know the cardiologist at the local private hospital. This is the third time she's had this. Previous two times she refused to go in.

I think she'd have been better at home.

Paramedic said I might be able to get her out tomorrow if the private place will do an angio. Dad's angio was private. I'll remortgage if I have to.

I've done enough temp work for the NHS to know how they waste money. It's not about money. I am genuinely mystified what the NHS is about now. They treated my late father as if he were a fun medical experiment.

Don't get me started on Covid and lockdowns.

I've seen other posters in the same situation and I have tried to be gentle to them rather than rage all over their thread, but if anyone wants to rage on this one, feel free.

I'm going to try and sleep.

Last night I dreamt mum died. I know we all have to lose our parents and I know it's worse the other way round. Just feel very FMAL right now.

OP posts:
negomi90 · 04/04/2022 00:48

It makes a difference to staff. The more people there, the higher risk to staff there is.
Many parts of the NHS is still following test and isolation rules. Where I work 1 in 5 nurses are off at the moment and about 2 in 5 doctors are off. Its dangerous. Reducing visitors means there's a chance staff will be less exposed and there will be less staff off which means better care for your loved one.

Monty27 · 04/04/2022 00:53

Blimey OP may I ask whereabouts you are

Original poster
EmmaH2022 · 04/04/2022 00:59

@Monty27

Blimey OP may I ask whereabouts you are
In London.
OP posts:
Monty27 · 04/04/2022 01:02

@EmmaH2022 so am I and had a really positive experience myself recently at my local hospital.

Snog · 04/04/2022 01:03

So sorry you are going through this OP, It is inhumane. I went through similar a few months ago when my DD went to A&E with a suspected heart attack (she's Ok and it turned up it not to be).

The NHS is a shitshow and it's not all about lack of funding either.

Original poster
EmmaH2022 · 04/04/2022 01:03

[quote Monty27]@EmmaH2022 so am I and had a really positive experience myself recently at my local hospital.[/quote]
Good to hear. I hope you are fully recovered now. Flowers

OP posts:
Monty27 · 04/04/2022 01:04

[quote Monty27]@EmmaH2022 so am I and had a really positive experience myself recently at my local hospital.[/quote]
I hope your mum recovers 💐

safclass · 04/04/2022 01:08

I've sat with a friend in a&e today. Patients were allowed 1 person with them. I've been with her every step of the way. In to be triaged, waiting for results and see the doctor , and waiting to be admitted before coming away. (Approx 7hrs)
I do think it's about money, not enough staff, those staff there were run ragged but treated everyone amazingly. Shortage of beds to admit onto.
What really annoyed me was the time wasted by police who were there hours with several different 'patients'! What a waste of resources.
I'm sorry you weren't allowed to be with your mum. We had this in at the end of last year when my mum was taken by ambulance for the doctor's surgery. I wasn't allowed to go through and my sister who works at the hospital wasn't allowed into a&e, but was at least able to be updated. Hope your mum is ok x x

Monty27 · 04/04/2022 04:58

Triage wastes so much time. An observation when it takes so long for them to actually communicate to each other. It's a complete waste of resources.

TheFallenMadonna · 04/04/2022 05:45

I'm sitting in my car while my 18 yo daughter is in A&E and have been since 2.30am.

Original poster
EmmaH2022 · 04/04/2022 05:53

@TheFallenMadonna

I'm sitting in my car while my 18 yo daughter is in A&E and have been since 2.30am.
I'm so sorry Can anyone come and wait with you?
OP posts:
Original poster
EmmaH2022 · 04/04/2022 05:55

@Monty27

Triage wastes so much time. An observation when it takes so long for them to actually communicate to each other. It's a complete waste of resources.
I'm not sure what they've actually done tbh.
OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 04/04/2022 05:56

TBH I’ve had nothing but positive experiences in London including on the day before Christmas Eve when I was taken in by ambulance which arrived within 20 minutes, and was then seen and discharged within 2 hours.

I’m sorry this is a bad time, but tbh you won’t get anywhere by going to a private hospital. If your mum needs a&e then the NHS is the only answer. If not then why did you call out an ambulance and not take her in in the morning?

If it’s not an emergency then she shouldn’t have gone in by ambulance. It’s because people are calling out ambulances in non emergencies that part of the system is so overrun.

MrsH497 · 04/04/2022 06:00

Had very positive experiences throughout covid with the nhs. Gave birth twice (2020 and 6 weeks ago) most recently when my baby daughter had breathing difficulties we were in A&E seen and on a ward within 2 hours. They are doing their best

TheFallenMadonna · 04/04/2022 06:01

I just want to be with her. She was very seriously ill last year and hospitals are upsetting for her (and me, but I'd rather be in there than the car park..)

Original poster
EmmaH2022 · 04/04/2022 06:05

Alternative "If not then why did you call out an ambulance and not take her in in the morning? "

I didn't call an ambulance, I wasn't with her at the time.

OP posts:
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