To be furious mum is alone in hospital?

[EmmaH2022]

I know I'm not
Mum is in a hospital corridor going into hour 6 after a suspected heart attack
They wouldn't let me go with her
Did they inject everyone with insanity?
She's 83.

I should be worried that she's going to die, but something about dying on a trolley gives me the RAGE. I wish I'd been here. I would never have let them take her to the hospital. I could at least have tried a private one.

No one answers the phone at the hospital obviously.

What happens if i just turn up in the morning?

My story is very minor compared to these, but still annoys me. Dm (96, walks with a stick, macula degeneration, has become quite frail recently, very much the same trajectory as the queen) had an outpatients’ appointment on Friday.

Her little sis (83) took her. Parked in lovely blue badge area, into hospital to be stopped by security as no one allowed to accompany patients. So aunt went back to sit in the car. Hours went by, no sign of mother. Aunt tried to find her, but not allowed in.

Finally my aunt rang DM’s house, mother was there, had caught a taxi home as couldn’t see aunt’s car.

What’s got me (other than my dm always forgetting her mobile) is that having refused to let someone in to help, there was no one in the hospital to assist an obviously frail, partially sighted, 96 year old person. I know they’re short staffed/covid infested etc etc but ffs there needs to be something in place.

I don’t know if I’d taken her and insisted I was her carer if I would have been allowed in. She is still mentally very alert, but surely most very elderly people need someone to advocate for them.

*bile

'I would go to the hospital personally and demand to be allowed to see your mum..'

I would too. Its awful that we have to make a fuss and become difficult but an 83 yr old still on a trolley hours later is just appalling. They may as well send her home for all the care she's getting.

@StoneofDestiny

Covid is rife - no visitors.

It's all very well saying that, but it's a little bit different when your elderly mum is lying very unwell on a trolley in a corridor.

If 'covid is rife' to the point that we have no hospital visitors, we need to do something about it to control it rather than let it run wild and not actually bother testing for it anymore.

@NOTANUM

These stories!!

Once I ended up in A&E for 7 hours and when I got a patient survey phone call, I gave high marks on the basis of the lovely staff who were working hard in awful circumstances. My friend who is a consultant was furious; he said the staff want patients to say it’s not good enough to management (not the poor staff on the frontline), MPs or whomever will listen. He thinks the knighting the entire service is unhelpful as it is masking serious issues as we are seeing with repeated scandals and stories like those on this thread.

I want all my patients (or their families of patients) who wait on an ambulance stretcher for a prolonged period of time (different policies mean that this varies alot across then UK) to complain to the ambulance service that pressure relief overlays exists, so way the hell are we not using them.

I am sorry for your situation OP.

Earlier this year, my 94 year old mum died at Broomfield Hospital in Essex.

Having been admitted to the hospital a few days prior, my stepfather, who was her main carer, and my sister and I were called to her bedside in early hours of a Saturday, because her oxygen levels had dropped in the night and the doctor was concerned she wasn't going to pull through.

When we arrived, it was clear that my mum, with her fluctuating capacity, did not understand the importance of keeping her oxygen mask on. With our support, gently coaxing her to put her mask back on, she gradually recovered, and within a short while her stats were okay again and she seemed stable.

Over the course of the next twelve hours, we stayed with mum and saw her continue to improve and her reliance on the oxygen decline, although she still needed almost constant reminders to put the mask back on.

Then quite suddenly, and without warning or time to prepare and say goodbye, we were told mum was going to be taken to a closed Covid ward and we needed to leave. We pleaded to allow one of us to stay with her to ensure she kept wearing her oxygen mask on, as otherwise we knew she would remove it and would deteriorate again. We were terrified she would die afraid and alone.

We were called early the next morning to say mum had badly deteriorated in the night, and we had a choice. Either accept she was at the end of life, and then we could go into that same closed Covid ward to be with her when she died. Or, one of us, would be allowed one half an hour visit, again in that same closed Covid ward. It made no sense and wasn't really a choice.

Mum died with us around her, in the closed Covid ward they told us the night before we couldn't enter.

We'll never know what that night was like for mum, and whether she might've pulled through had we been allowed to continue supporting her to wear her mask.

The experience has devastated my stepfather, who is full of regret over ever having allowed mum to go into hospital in the first place. And I am haunted by it all.

I hope your mum recovers OP and you can find a way to be with her again soon.

My dad is 93 and in a care home where he is very happy and extremely well looked after. He has quite a few health issues and recently had a fall but luckily the ambulance crew called out checked him out thoroughly and did not take him off to hospital as they didn't think he needed to be there. Thankfully.

It's our biggest fear that with Covid around still, if he goes into hospital, not only would we really struggle to see him (if we are allowed) or that he would die in there alone and with no family with him.

It's a terrifying time for elderly relatives and I have five over 90s that all have health issues including one with dementia.

@EmmaH2022

Still on a trolley

Wow this is not acceptable. If she is in A&E on a trolley you will be able to go in and be with her, state that you are her primary carer! Just go into A&E and tell the desk who you are and kick off a damn fuss is they don’t let you in!

There's more Covid in hospitals than outside them. Yanbu

@WouldYouIfYouCould

I have never experienced “good” NHS treatment. I fact barbaric at best. I remember being 16 weeks pregnant and severely dehydrated after vomiting over 30 times on day. NHS 111 called me an ambulance and said I needed urgently put on a drip for rehydration. I was taken to hospital around 10pm and got put on a drip at around 8am the next morning having been left vomiting bike in a side room all night with no access to drinking water! I’d have been much better off staying at home.

Same treatment here! 6 weeks ago I was left on a plastic chair in a busy corridor in A&E hooked up to IV fluids and meds for hyperemesis. No beds to offer me. I was on that chair for 6 hours.

With hospitals being SO short-staffed just at the moment I really think it would be prudent to allow patients one relative allowed to visit/stay with them. There aren't enough staff to keep an eye on patients properly, let alone to help them eat, to the toilet etc. This is where visitors are useful.

I was admitted last week and had to advocate for two elderly patients who needed immediate emergency care and weren't getting it, one in A&E and the other once I was on the ward. On the ward, a patient started having a seizure and the ward assistant present didn't recognise what was happening and was muttering 'has she been acting strangely for long?' rather than jumping into action. I ended up shouting into the corridor for help at which point a crash call was made and within a minute the patient was being looked after to the highest standards of care by multiple nurses and doctors.

The doctors and nurses I encountered were all kind, respectful, knowledgeable and proactive but they are woefully overworked and understaffed. I have no doubt that patients will be seeing worse outcomes than pre-Covid.

I think we have to get to a point where we stop worrying about bringing Covid onto wards. All this prolonged isolating for staff is creating a very dangerous staffing situation in hospitals which surely is killing more patients than would be actually dying from a Covid infection.

It's a shambles. I was admitted earlier this year. My issue was scary and needed swift investigation but I 'felt ok.' I was on a general medical ward with lots of much older ladies some of whom were very ill. It was amazing the care I received as a young, alert person able to advocate for herself compared to the older ladies. They couldn't do enough for me and treated them like an inconvenience. I ended up making a complaint on behalf of one of the ladies on my bay who had been left dirty after incontinence for over 2 hours. She was screaming for her husband and was routinely ignored. Meanwhile I'd been offered drinks and updated on the next steps for my investigations.

Families are SO important for advocating for patients. I still worry about that lady- I never heard back from my PALS complaint

I remember pre covid my dear mum in a trolley in a corridor/ next to the doctors station, as she went in and out of consciousness I cried and called for help only for a doctor to look me up and down, glance at my lovely dear mum and say 'she fine'. She was not fine she was in fact very clearly having a stroke.
No excuses of a pandemic, pure laziness.

Also in London. DH took dd1 to a&e 2 weeks ago and they were seen and started treatment within the hour. I understand how scared you are. The rules seem to differ by trust, but ultimately it’s to protect the staff and vulnerable patients for whom covid could be life threatening.

I have never experienced good NHS care either. It’s mind blowing that people did all that clapping and saluting the NHS. Now they are untouchable and will never get better. It’s not simply a lack of money - it’s bad management, some (not all) lazy staff, insane rules and poor quality nursing.

'I have never experienced good NHS care either. It’s mind blowing that people did all that clapping and saluting the NHS. Now they are untouchable and will never get better'

I've received excellent care and treatment as have many family about friends but this ridiculous no one can accompany or visit needs to end now.

I don’t think it’s about money. The infrastructure needs sorting out. Even before Covid I felt that visiting and visitors should be restricted on wards.
However everyone should be allowed someone with them to advocate for them. I dread to think what is going on. Masks and disposable plastic overshoes should also be worn. All sorts must be tracked through the hospital.

Hi I’m a nurse.
Please go to a+e and ask why your mum is still on a trolley. What’s the delay? What have they done and what are they going to do today? If you encounter barriers ask to speak to the ward manager and PALS.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Witchesbelazy

“Honestly Im sick of hearing covid is rife it will always be rife patient care needs to get back to standard now and that includes them having someone they know there to comfort them and assist with drinks and food.”

Think everyone is sick of covid ! How does patient care come back when a number of staff are off every week ? Because as a country we have decided to let covid run rife then moan when businesses/ hospitals struggling.

Your plan would be to just let everyone in and out of hospitals treat it like a common cold not have any control, putting more staff at risk then patients become more at risk as so many staff are off .

My dads gp practice only seeing emergency cases last week as 2 doctors off with it so whole back log there , sons friend has it again for the 3rd time . Goodness knows what it’s doing to kids body’s or anybody’s when they keep getting infected even mildly . The government have refused to listen to medical science.

I work in care and those people we support who have had to go into hospital recently have waited for ages, not understood where they are if they have dementia, not been assisted with changing incontinence pads. The waits for ambulances are ridiculous - did anyone see the article about an older gentleman who fell at a concert in bath last week and was stuck at the venue overnight waiting?
When our service users are discharged from hospital they are often confused, usually have a deterioration in skin condition and in general far worse than they were when they went in. They do need someone with them, either a carer or relative to ensure they eat, drink , have help with the toilet and stay in a good frame of mind, this would help not hinder the NHS.

@Rrrob

Also in London. DH took dd1 to a&e 2 weeks ago and they were seen and started treatment within the hour. I understand how scared you are. The rules seem to differ by trust, but ultimately it’s to protect the staff and vulnerable patients for whom covid could be life threatening.

How does this help OP whose mum has been on a trolley on a corridor for 15 hours, with presumably untreated heart problems? I'm glad your DD had good, prompt treatment but it sounds like the exception.

OP can you get the hospital PALS team on the phone? They may be able to advocate for you to be with your mum. Sorry you are both having such a bad time.

I've seen really good care in the NHS including to me when I was in four times for surgery in 2020.

Unfortunately, when it comes to the very elderly, it seems to go out the window. My neightbour who died in the local hospital was visited by some friends who found him unkempt, unshaven and just generally not cared for. Whether he was eating or not, who knows.

I've also seen an elderly lady sat on a commode in front of a window where visitors were passing by. Where was her privacy? Also an elderly man who wanted to go to the toilet but the male nurse was so horrible thought the old chap was "having him on in wanting to go" and just wandered off back to the nurses station to carry on chatting with several other nurses.

I know several people who have complained about treatment and one has even received compensation in respect of her father's treatment where negligence was found after he died from several falls out of bed.

I will admit I am really frightened of getting much older and ending up in hospital, and I'm not the only one I think in these awful times.

@Sallydimebar

Witchesbelazy

“Honestly Im sick of hearing covid is rife it will always be rife patient care needs to get back to standard now and that includes them having someone they know there to comfort them and assist with drinks and food.”

Think everyone is sick of covid ! How does patient care come back when a number of staff are off every week ? Because as a country we have decided to let covid run rife then moan when businesses/ hospitals struggling.

Your plan would be to just let everyone in and out of hospitals treat it like a common cold not have any control, putting more staff at risk then patients become more at risk as so many staff are off .

My dads gp practice only seeing emergency cases last week as 2 doctors off with it so whole back log there , sons friend has it again for the 3rd time . Goodness knows what it’s doing to kids body’s or anybody’s when they keep getting infected even mildly . The government have refused to listen to medical science.

I'm a paramedic, I had COVID recently, I'm not going to catch it or give it to anyone anytime soon, yet I am having to continue with the charade of mask wearing (even with people with poor hearing who then can't make an informed decision because they haven't correctly heard they information or risking injury to myself by steamed up glasses or no glasses whilst working at RTCs), and with not letting family travel on the ambulance.

I'm also not allowed to go and see FIL on the stroke ward, who when he was admitted was COVID positive as was MIL, now 3 weeks down the line, none of us are going to catch or spread COVID.

This applies to most the staff, who will be continue with life outside work as normal, with the same exposure to COVID as anybody else, and most likely recent infection and therefore a period of immunity.

Living with COVID means an end to this ridiculous, inhumane nonsense.

@SpringRainbow

The problem is we have the NHS trying to eliminate Covid, and the community where Covid is allowed to spread freely.

It’s not sustainable and something is going to have to give really as the current situation is not fair on staff, patients, or family.

I agree with this. No Covid rules in the community, people not even bothering to wear masks in shops, while in hospitals the staffing levels are terrible and there are cruel decisions like this made, a woman in her eighties all alone on a trolley. They should allow one person in with vulnerable or elderly patients, as long as they test negative. Takes minutes to do a LFT.