To be furious mum is alone in hospital?

[EmmaH2022]

I know I'm not
Mum is in a hospital corridor going into hour 6 after a suspected heart attack
They wouldn't let me go with her
Did they inject everyone with insanity?
She's 83.

I should be worried that she's going to die, but something about dying on a trolley gives me the RAGE. I wish I'd been here. I would never have let them take her to the hospital. I could at least have tried a private one.

No one answers the phone at the hospital obviously.

What happens if i just turn up in the morning?

YANBU.

My MIL just had major risky surgery, was in for 2 weeks and wasn't allowed one single visitor. She wasn't able to facetime etc as she was on a lot of painkillers so a bit delirious and when we phoned the staff were never able to tell us how she was - it felt like they didn't know half the time, couldn't even tell us how the surgery went.

It felt inhumane that when she was at her weakest and most vulnerable she had nobody there that could be of any comfort. As a result, she ended up coming out of hospital a lot sooner than she should have really.

@Oligodoodle

I’m so sorry for you OP.

We had similar earlier in the year. My dad is physically disabled and when he was taken to a and e, my mother, his carer, was not allowed in with him. He was left alone in a side room for hours. No call button, food or water and no ability to get them for himself.

I understand covid rules are applied, but there does need to be some leniency for the disabled or elderly. They wouldn’t have a small child left on their own, and really there is no difference between a small child and an adult who requires a carer for whatever reason (physical or mental disability or advanced age).

Jesus christ...thats abuse and neglect!!

FIL had a stroke 3 weeks ago and nobody's seen him since. Initially he was covid positive, so fair enough, but he's now been on the rehab ward for 10 days and still not allowed in.

There is no mobile signal on the ward, so reliant on the ward phone, so MIL barely gets to speak to him. Ward are useless at giving info, and MIL (75) still works part time at a RGN so it's not down to her ability to ask questions, understand info or retain what they say.

This is supposed to be stroke rehab how they expect anyone to improve with this set up I have no idea.

Compare this to 5 years ago when my dad was on a neuro rehab ward following surgery for a brain tumour, and it was open access during the day, big wheel-able armchairs that family where encouraged to use to take patients outside into the hospital grounds, and patients dogs allowed on the ward (and bed).

We are in a similar position to @Wenlorwoo and @EmmaH2022 and I’m furious about it. Elderly, on a ward post stroke and has lost all speech but is very aware and is “locked in”. They asked me if I could FaceTime him instead of visiting! Errr he can’t use his hands or talk so how is a phone to work?

Covid is an excuse for too much right now. We are right to be furious. I now consider private health insurance a priority and think it’s only time before the NHS becomes means tested.

' MIL just had major risky surgery, was in for 2 weeks and wasn't allowed one single visitor.'

This is absolutely wrong imo. Surely one nominated visitor per family to bring in clean underwear and nightwear should be possible. It's absolutely shocking, the emotional support from family is vital and the way even now hospitals are not allowing visitors is crazy.

Covid is everywhere, we know that. Refusing a poorly, elderly patient one nominated visitor will not stop the spread, it is futile and cruel.

My neighbour had a fall on Wednesday. We waited about an hour and a quarter for paramedics, which was quite good. Suspected broken wrist and hip. She was taken to hospital at about 4 and was still in a corridor in A&E on Friday. She was transferred to a ward later on Friday, but still hasn't had a scan of her hip. Hopefully this will be done today. She is nearly 92. It really is appalling.

Just here to say I understand and it’s awful. It’s inhumane.

@tkwal

It's not the front line staff causing the problems in the NHS. It's the ranks of beaurocrats who spend ther time finding "creative" ways around rules,targets and pathways created by civil servants working to a business model. Fine example ...all patients must be seen within a certain time of arriving at the emergency department. "Solution" 1 . Introduce triage system , patients seen relatively quickly , basic observations done. Box ticked. But....queue for triage starts to become more difficult to manage, patients begin to breach guidelines before being seen at all. "Solution" 2. Don't let ambulance patients cross the threshold until they can be seen by triage. Result, ambulances queued outside emergency departments unavailable for use in new emergencies

Unfortunately this is only part of the picture. Many of the problems are caused by front line staff. Doctors with a God complex refusing to listen to patients, nurses who have no bed side manner and talk to patients like they’re idiots/children/a pain for still being alive. Doctors and midwives/nurses arguing. Not treating a patient as a living breathing person. Blaming the patient. In fact all of these issues were pointed out in the recent review into sShrewsbury maternity care, but is endemic throughout the NHS

Before covid many of the actual caring for the patients welfare jobs were performed by relatives. No one has picked up this slack. Families had to fight for the welfare of their relatives. This ability has been removed. Basically it’s easier for the staff without relatives there. Covid is now just a convenient facade to hide behind. It’s not going to really improve from where we are in the short term. The current policy is destroying lives.

In the long term we need to recognise the NHS model is not fit for purpose and it needs changing. The public need to stop hero worshipping it and accept a different system would be much better. I suspect insurance companies would hold hospitals to account much better than the Government

My heart goes out to you. I was talking to my sister only yesterday about how much we miss our mum so much but we agree wholeheartedly that the one consolation of her dying pre pandemic was that she didn't have to suffer this kind of shit. She'd been admitted thee times to hospital via A&E in the year before she died and it was a shit show then, but at least I was by her side the whole time, making sure she had enough to drink and taking her to the toilet etc

These stories!!

Once I ended up in A&E for 7 hours and when I got a patient survey phone call, I gave high marks on the basis of the lovely staff who were working hard in awful circumstances. My friend who is a consultant was furious; he said the staff want patients to say it’s not good enough to management (not the poor staff on the frontline), MPs or whomever will listen. He thinks the knighting the entire service is unhelpful as it is masking serious issues as we are seeing with repeated scandals and stories like those on this thread.

@DrDreReturns

The 5th time I called, I was told off for calling too often. When I replied "will someone call me then?", she said "no you have to call us".

The NHS needs to realise it is there for the patients and their families. It is not 'customer' orientated enough. I bet no thought goes into the patient experience.

I need a very minor op. When I spoke to the GP he said to phone back if I hadn't had an appointment letter in four weeks time. Its three weeks and I've heard nothing. Why can't there be an online portal where you can check the status of your appointments / treatment, you know, like every other organisation in this day and age? Instead of relying on post for everything.

"I bet no thought goes into the patient experience". I think you'll find there are endless meetings about this - however, sometimes patients are just arses, as are the staff and patient experience proceedures collapse

"Why can't there be an online portal where you can check the status of your appointments / treatment, you know, like every other organisation in this day and age?" - There is. It's called the NHS app

You state that the NHS has to realise it is there for patients and their families - dear God, it's atitudes like this which lead to violence against staff. We all have a responsibility to care for our won health until we get a disease/condition that requires medical intervention. The NHS isn't there to manage all the stupid things people go to a & e for. Trouble is, most think that the emergency services are there to be their private doctor/policeman/fireman, compeltely forgetting that others are making demands on the time of these peole, or indeed that the people in these jobs are also human and therefore susceptable to human foibles such as illness and being pissed off with wothers. They don't set themselves up as 'angels' - that's a title bestowed upon them by the Great British public

I’m sorry OP, I agree it’s inhumane. I will never forget not being allowed to be with my husband at all when he had brain tumour surgery. He had no idea what was going on or why I wasn’t there. A friend of mine was in a coma after a brain aneurysm, when she woke up her husband and young child had to speak to her via an iPad. Sometimes visitors are necessary, Covid isn’t going anywhere. I hope everything turns out okay for you and your mum x

As you weren’t with her it’s not reasonable for all and sundry to wander into a&e wanting to be with x or y patient

This is the patient's daughter for pity's sake, though your post was a classic example of the sheer lack of humanity we're seeing - or is it now necessary for everyone to have their NOK with them at all times just in case they end up in hospital?

A good example, too, of the "no" mentality which infests so much of our public services, and of how convenient it must be for hospitals to avoid patient advocates who might otherwise have something to say about any failings

own health not won!

I agree with every word you wrote @OMG12

Yeah it's terrible she can't have anyone with her. I was in a and e last month and wouldn't have coped without my partner as I was too confused after falling and literally thought their was nothing wrong with me (there was.) We're in Edinburgh though.

No one should be alone with something as frightening as a heart attack. Please update when she's seen and admitted.

people saying they had a great experiance in 'London'... does London have just one hospital or is their a hospital CALLED london?

Otherwise I have no idea why your generic experience in a large city matters.

There are 5 hospitals about equidistant from me, 2 in my county (1 full one and one that's 90% shut down) and 3 in the very close next county (all with specialties)... I have used 3 of them and had a wildly different experience at all 3.

The full one in my county is majoritively shite with the most shocking care I have ever had the misfortune to encounter as a patient. The 90% shut one does its best but it's barely clinging on to be open. The one the next county over is fantastic and has broken many countries and world records for medical achievements and innovation... all 3 are NHS and are 30 mins from my house.

Surely PP can have had a good experience in 'London' at a completely different hospital to OP.

Kept us updated op
I'm sorry your going through this
I hope your mum will be ok
Xx

@StoneofDestiny

Covid is rife - no visitors.

Keeping visitors out clearly isn't keeping Covid out. And no visitors means poorer care and people unable to advocate for themselves

I'm so sorry OP. It's heartbreaking. My dad went through similar last year with a stroke, he was alone and confused and it just broke me thinking about him, not even being able to talk to him etc. It's a horrible situation. I just don't know what the answer is though (well obviously the government need to invest a whole lot more in staffing and everything else), but those saying they should relax covid rules, how does that play out? Most hospital patients are very vulnerable and catching covid could kill them too easily, so relaxing infection control would lead to more of this, and then everyone would be up in arms that hospitals were being negligent in their covid protocols and so people were dying. Hospitals can't relax protocols for norovirus; it's the same here and with numbers sky high in the community it's far worse and more pressing than norovirus, with Covid's present level of contagion. I do think that they need to find a way to allow one named person in to assist elderly and vulnerable people, whether through testing them or whatever, but I also see that they are under a huge wave of pressure from the sheer numbers. While many are incidental, they still have to isolate them because they can still be contagious and put vulnerable people at risk. It's just a nightmare at the moment and I wish I knew the answer.

Really hope your mum is doing ok op and feels better soon

The deification of NHS workers we've seen in the last couple of years has hastened its decline. It's a failing service which needs dismantling. But no government will have the balls. It's all about the next election

So sorry to hear you are in this position OP. In answer to your question “has everyone been injected with insanity”- unfortunately yes . I would go to the hospital personally and demand to be allowed to see your mum..

Still on a trolley

'Keeping visitors out clearly isn't keeping Covid out. And no visitors means poorer care and people unable to advocate for themselves'

This.

NHS managers need to keep up. This isn't 2020, most peope are vaccinated and current strains are mild. The mental well being of patients is as vital as their physical health.

One visitor. That is all most people would expect.

I have never experienced “good” NHS treatment. I fact barbaric at best. I remember being 16 weeks pregnant and severely dehydrated after vomiting over 30 times on day. NHS 111 called me an ambulance and said I needed urgently put on a drip for rehydration. I was taken to hospital around 10pm and got put on a drip at around 8am the next morning having been left vomiting bike in a side room all night with no access to drinking water! I’d have been much better off staying at home.