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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

‘Look at you, you’re worth nothing’

153 replies

Whatsbooba · 03/04/2022 17:54

Dp has just looked me up and down and said this nastily to me during an argument.
How would you react?

OP posts:

greyinganddecaying · 03/04/2022 17:55

I would think that he despised me and make moves to leave.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 03/04/2022 17:55

End the relationship..
Whatever it takes to achieve your life back.

MardyOldGoth · 03/04/2022 17:56

By leaving.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 03/04/2022 17:57

Leave.
In 15 years my husband has never ever said anything remotely that nasty or spiteful. Not when we had no money, not when we had two really young children and no sleep, not when I forced him to let us get a dog and he hated dogs, not when I’ve been a hormonal mess, not when I put on 4 stone in pregnancy, not when I had a nervous breakdown….
Never.

alittlequinnie · 03/04/2022 17:58

Yeah my ex husband said something like this to me.

It was the one and only time my Mum ever stood up for me as she heard.

I didn't do much about it at the time becuase I was young and didn't understand that he was an abusive cock.

However, with hindsight and maturity I can see that generally he despised me and I should never have got involved.

It's a really really nasty thing to say OP and I wouldn't be sticking around a second time.

RisingSunn · 03/04/2022 17:59

That would be the end. Absolutely no respect there.

LucyAutumn · 03/04/2022 17:59

That's vile. There's "saying something silly/ in the heat of the moment" and there's "had to come from somewhere/ downright unforgivable"... I'm not sure there's any coming back from this one...

DieDeutschLehrerin · 03/04/2022 17:59

I think that would stay with me forever and undermine every nice thing he ever said again.
I never say, "leave" but it's too big a risk to be allow a person who wants you to believe it to be in your life. You should be fee to find a relationship with someone who would never dream of saying it.
Difficult days ahead but good luck.

PinkiOcelot · 03/04/2022 18:00

Do yourself a favour and leave. I don’t think there’s any going by from that.

KissedintheDark · 03/04/2022 18:00

Ah, that's a vile thing to say.
It's no way to live, op.

DogsDryWineAndCheese · 03/04/2022 18:02

I’d leave. I can argue like cat & dog with my partner but never do we disrespect each other like that.
Please think about making provisions to leave - everyone deserves more than someone who thinks of them like that!

BrimFullOfAsher · 03/04/2022 18:02

As a comment its shit. Its nasty and unpleasant.

I'd be curious to know the further background though. What led to this comment, what had/have you said to him in said argument - have you been equally inflammatory?

username9871028 · 03/04/2022 18:03

Does he have a pattern of belittling you like this? If so, then this is emotional abuse and you should leave.

dudsville · 03/04/2022 18:03

There's actual hate, real loathing, in a statement like that.

Nillynally · 03/04/2022 18:03

I'd be digging.

StoneofDestiny · 03/04/2022 18:05

You are worth nothing to your DP, but clearly are worth a lot - demonstrate it by leaving the oaf.

TheAverageUser · 03/04/2022 18:06

Do you both speak to each other like that when you're arguing or is it unusual?

It's a horrible comment. My DH hasn't said anything like that to me, I'd be heartbroken and humiliated and assume he hated me.

gettingolderandgrumpy · 03/04/2022 18:07

Pack his bags , it really shocks me that people put up with shit like this with someone who is supposed to love and respect them . This sentence means he thinks neither of those things so it’d be the end .

Downton57 · 03/04/2022 18:08

I'd be digging ...
Why? What's the point? Just leave. Never stay with someone who belittles you, whatever their 'reasons'.

cheeseislife8 · 03/04/2022 18:08

I don't think there's any coming back from that

Original poster

Whatsbooba · 03/04/2022 18:09

Our toddler Dd isn’t very well at the moment so is really playing up, she can’t help it, it’s really hard to be around, but isn’t her fault. He keeps shouting at her to stop doing what’s she’s doing and was telling her off for not eating properly and making a mess, telling her that all she does is make mess everywhere. I came downstairs and yes I said under my breath that he shouldn’t talk to her so nastily. He came storming into the kitchen saying the above, I said why did he have to speak so nastily and he speaks in an abusive way. I then cried and now feel so low, has said things like this before, that I’m worthless and has said to get off my fucking arse and do something, if he’s painting and Dd is annoying him

Is it abusive?

OP posts:

Madferit · 03/04/2022 18:10

By leaving... Show him what your worth really is by not tolerating that, you don't deserve it

Howmanydaysuntilfriday · 03/04/2022 18:11

This is abuse

StopThe · 03/04/2022 18:12

Well he's wrong. You're worth a lot. Loads.
Find someone else who agrees. Or don't just be alone.

Ditch the absolute dick who said this. If he's capable of saying that he'll just keep putting you down for the rest of time. Fuck that.

Merryoldgoat · 03/04/2022 18:12

It’s despicable.

Why would you WANT to stay with someone who thinks so little of you?

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