Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Look at you, you’re worth nothing’

153 replies

Whatsbooba · 03/04/2022 17:54

Dp has just looked me up and down and said this nastily to me during an argument.
How would you react?

OP posts:
greyinganddecaying · 03/04/2022 18:13

Is this kind of behaviour normal for him OP?

Shouting at a toddler (or you) is not acceptable.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 03/04/2022 18:13

There is only one person who is worthless in this scenario.

It isn’t you. Flowers

Downton57 · 03/04/2022 18:13

Leave today OP. He's vile.

StopThe · 03/04/2022 18:14

Yes it's abusive

WhiteWriting · 03/04/2022 18:14

Well your update just confirms what a total cunt he is really doesn't it. He needs some time in a Travelodge contemplating his future.

alittlequinnie · 03/04/2022 18:15

Get our of there OP - you're on a losing battle.

My ex used to say I was worthless and sat on my arse and all that.

Don't make my mistake and stick it out for 10 years. He doesn't even like you - you don't need to settle like this.

Being single is better than being with somebody who makes you feel worthless.

gettingolderandgrumpy · 03/04/2022 18:15

* Is it abusive?*
This sentence gets banded about a bit but ask yourself would you really want to say something so hurtful to someone you care about to make yourself feel better ?
I get the stressful situation and yes I argue with my dh when I’m stressed with dc , but hand on heart I have never said anything personal about him to hurt him and vice Versa .

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/04/2022 18:15

There are some things that are unforgivable and that's certainly one.

Ponoka7 · 03/04/2022 18:15

Yes this is abuse and he's starting to direct it to your DD. Leave while you have some self worth left.

amoobaa · 03/04/2022 18:16

Wow. I think I’d ask them to leave immediately. Or if I felt unsafe I’d remove myself and my child and come back when it suited me, to discuss what on earth happened and what needs to happen moving forwards.

If I felt safe, I’d say, “Wow. Is that really what you think? Explain to me how you’ve reached that conclusion. I’m worth more than you seem capable of comprehending. Your comments are vile and unacceptable.”

But that’s in the context of my relationship where I can’t imagine a comment like that being made.

If this is happening to you and is starting to feel normal then you need to run for the hills.

Once you realise your worth, you’ll no longer entertain hanging out with people who don’t.

This sounds incredibly abusive. Are you ok? People on here are amazing, if you’re not ok then keep posting, there are so many people who wish you well and will have life changing experiences and advice to share x

Longcovid21 · 03/04/2022 18:16

He's shouting as a toddler when she's ill. How lovely. I'd break his fucking balls. What a bully. To her and you.

Downton57 · 03/04/2022 18:17

Even if you don't want to leave for your own sake, do it for your little girl's. She shouldn't have to live with this a moment longer.

Nothappyatwork · 03/04/2022 18:17

Do you not let your daughter grow up witnessing this. My girl heard enough times out of her fathers mouth that she believes it, despite actually factual evidence to the contrary.

Mischance · 03/04/2022 18:17

Well - think this through .......

Why, when you only have one life, would you choose to spend it with someone who despises you?
Why would you wish your DD to witness this sort of behaviour? - what does it teach her about women's worth?

Sorry if that sounds blunt, but really truly you are worth better than this; and I know splitting up is hard, but it surely cannot be worse than putting up with this for the rest of your life.

Please take care of yourself and find a way to get out of this situation. Flowers

TabithaTittlemouse · 03/04/2022 18:18

He is a bully. Do not allow him to speak to you or your dd like this.

Do you have somewhere to go?

Clarinet1 · 03/04/2022 18:19

His talking as though you should think yourself lucky to have a man - especially him. Well he’s been lucky to have you and, having said that, his luck has run out. Don’t think
I’ve ever said it before but LTB!

EthelsAuntie · 03/04/2022 18:22

He is vile. You and your dd are worth way more than he seems to think.

Clarinet1 · 03/04/2022 18:23

As a side note, I wonder what he would be like to your Dd if she were a Ds. As pp have said, do not allow this to be a role model for her relationships.

ThreeRingCircus · 03/04/2022 18:24

@Mischance

Well - think this through .......

Why, when you only have one life, would you choose to spend it with someone who despises you?
Why would you wish your DD to witness this sort of behaviour? - what does it teach her about women's worth?

Sorry if that sounds blunt, but really truly you are worth better than this; and I know splitting up is hard, but it surely cannot be worse than putting up with this for the rest of your life.

Please take care of yourself and find a way to get out of this situation. Flowers

I completely agree with this. I've had some blazing rows with DH in the past, told him to fuck off and all sorts but never have either one of us said something like that to one another. It's a statement with pure hatred and loathing in it. Nobody who truly loved you would even contemplate saying something like that.

Do not let your daughter grow up witnessing this sort of behaviour and thinking this is an acceptable way to speak to other people. It isn't.

Clarinet1 · 03/04/2022 18:25

Oops - just realised the typo my first post - his = he’s obvs!

TheArtfulBlogger · 03/04/2022 18:25

Certainly wouldn't be calling him "D" P Hmm makes the D so utterly pointless

Couchbettato · 03/04/2022 18:25

Clearly he doesn't know your worth.

He thinks you're worth nothing, but you know you're worth a damn sight more than him.

Don't lower your standards to meet the expectations of people below you.

Leave him.

ConfusedByDesign · 03/04/2022 18:27

When I was told something similar once, I replied with
“I used to care about what you said, now it means nothing”

Leave him.

ScreamingBeans · 03/04/2022 18:29

He's an abuser.

Horrible, horrible man who isn't parenting his child properly and being abusive to you at the same time.

Vile. Leave him.

Steelesauce · 03/04/2022 18:29

My ex used to do this. It wears you down and you believe it if you stay. Just leave, you're worth more then that shit.