To dread a party with "stand-up bowl food" ?

[Jng1]

RSVPd yes to a 'save the date' for a friend's significant birthday party.
Just had the details through and it's in a tiny cafe/ restaurant with a guest list of about 60. Looked at pics on insta of other private parties and people are packed in like sardines in a low-ceilinged single room. No stools or seats anywhere.

Food is described as grazing boards then stand up bowl food.

Am I alone in dreading this kind of social event - standing in uncomfortable heels, juggling a glass and a plate/bowl and not being able to hear anyone. Wondering how long I have to stay before I can discreetly disappear?

(Yes, I know IABU and I should have just politely declined, but I thought it would be a sit down/ buffet type thingie!)

@HomeHomeInTheRange

So all those of you viewing this event with horror, what do you do at parties? Proper parties where everyone stands in the kitchen drinking, and going for a dance in the front room?

Find a seat and talk to whoever happens by.

Slip away quietly at about ten to twelve.

@CounsellorTroi

I’m not sure how you can eat from the bowls if there is nowhere to put your glass down.

This! I went to a wedding reception that was like this - and there were a few tall tables around but if you set your glass down, a wait staff would snap it up straight away. Presumably for safety reasons? I never did find out.

I kept going to the bar and getting drink after drink until it FINALLY dawned on me that someone was actually grabbing all “unattended” drinks! (At first I thought I was being absent-minded)

And it was nearly impossible to eat anything except the meat on skewers, which isn’t the the most impressive of manners at a party. But I was starving after a few hours. And drunk from not eating. I didn’t know there wouldn’t be seating.

I went and sat on the toilet for a break for my high heeled aching feet.

Many people can't stand or walk for long periods but don't use mobility aids like sticks or wheelchairs. I'm one of them; I rely on journey planning and finding places to sit. I also couldn't hold a plate of food without kicking off a 2-day throbbing pain in my wrist.

In this day and age, who is designing social events that avoidably discriminate against disabled people? I couldn't go, but if I were able-bodied, I'd boycott on principle.

It just sounds like a party.

Group of people standing with drinks and nibbles.

Parties can be tiresome if they're not your thing but it's hardly an unusual or unreasonable invite.

"Someone invited me to an event that I may not totally enjoy"!!! Err, yes that happens.

Just go for a bit and leave when you've had enough.
Not sure it's worth complaining about.

@HomeHomeInTheRange

So all those of you viewing this event with horror, what do you do at parties? Proper parties where everyone stands in the kitchen drinking, and going for a dance in the front room?

SHOCK NEWS FOR YOU.

When people hold parties in their home, they have things called CHAIRS.

Don't know if you're familiar. They look a bit like this...

HTH

@HomeHomeInTheRange

So all those of you viewing this event with horror, what do you do at parties? Proper parties where everyone stands in the kitchen drinking, and going for a dance in the front room?

That's not the same though. This is a single room with standing only, where people are going to be crammed in according to the OP. Doesn't sound like any house party I've been to, where you normally have a choice of rooms and outside (weather permitting) and a choice of sit, stand or dance (I do all).

The (few) posters who think this is a wonderful idea are getting hilariously sniffy and offended that MOST people think it's a shit idea and a shit night.

Why the F do YOU care if other people find the idea of a stand-up-all-night, and walk around with your glass, and plate of food all night unappealing?

As I say, a few people are getting bizarrely offended at other people choices and opinions. Even insulting and berating people who wouldn't fancy it! Makes me wonder if THEY have had a stand-up-all-night-with-no-chairs event, and most people haven't turned up. Coz they're taking peoples dislike of this very personally.

@Jng1

www.foodevents.co.uk/food/bowl-food/

I guess it's this kind of thing?

Your link — “without the need for cutlery” and then describes mini fish and chips and toad in the hole.

It my idea of a pleasant evening. I’d test pos for Covid or have a migraine/ period pains/ tummy bug then take friend out for a meal the following week.

• not my idea of a pleasant evening!!

House parties have chairs, stairs, stair banisters, big walls to lean into, usually a buffet somewhere else to wander to. It's far easier than a very cramped room with no room to move and food bowls spread around.

@Jenasaurus there are chairs in that photo. I'm guessing they are mid way through room set up

@Jng1

RSVPd yes to a 'save the date' for a friend's significant birthday party. Just had the details through and it's in a tiny cafe/ restaurant with a guest list of about 60. Looked at pics on insta of other private parties and people are packed in like sardines in a low-ceilinged single room. No stools or seats anywhere.

Food is described as grazing boards then stand up bowl food.

Am I alone in dreading this kind of social event - standing in uncomfortable heels, juggling a glass and a plate/bowl and not being able to hear anyone. Wondering how long I have to stay before I can discreetly disappear?

(Yes, I know IABU and I should have just politely declined, but I thought it would be a sit down/ buffet type thingie!)

then don't go....say you are sorry, now find you can't make it.

@Mrsjayy

What's the difference between a buffet and grazing boards ?

I was just thinking this is the trendy name for a buffet

@Mrsjayy @SockFluffInTheBath a buffet is usually laid out on separate plates/boards/flats.
A grazing table is essentially a huge pile of food!

I think you sound abit ungrateful op! If she is your friend, go along wear something comfortable and enjoy her birthday!

What is wrong with everyone, it is a bit of food, a few drinks some good company. So precious

@Jng1

www.foodevents.co.uk/food/bowl-food/

I guess it's this kind of thing?

How doeds anyone eat mac'n'cheese without cutlery? Or mash?

@Swayingpalmtrees

I think you sound abit ungrateful op! If she is your friend, go along wear something comfortable and enjoy her birthday!

What is wrong with everyone, it is a bit of food, a few drinks some good company. So precious

I'd hate it for so many reasons....but then I would have declined with thanks in the first place!

@ifIwerenotanandroid bowl food is usually served with a fork or spoon. Not zero cutlery

@ifIwerenotanandroid

you get a fork or chopsticks if its chinese.

i get these things at networking events, however there you are there for one purpose, to network and once you have done that and "worked the room" you just go home. No one cares

It gets akward doing that at a friends birthday. You are saying "my comfort is more important than you" - which is fair enough but most of us would feel rude to state that. so we'd stay longer than we wanted and be uncomfy standing up all night.

Just wear flat shoes and have a sandwich before you go.

Thanks, both. I checked back & it says 'without the need for much cutlery' - somehow I'd skipped over the word 'much'!

I have been to some shocking parties, really god awful - one where they didn't even serve dinner to 12.45am BUT you do it for your friends!

If they are good friends you bite back your reservations, pop on the party shoes, eat for England so you are not THAT guest to tip a full glass of wine down someone's dress as you balance bowl and glass and make it a night to remember for your friend. I don't know anyone would care that much unless you are a pensioner and struggle with balance, live like a hermit or have sky high expectations - in which case what would you accept? I feel sorry for the person organising.

Note to self: Don't do bowl food ever!

Sounds like a normal party to me, although I'm not sure what bowl food is (CBA to Google). I've been attending events like this all my life. Top tip: don't wear uncomfortable shoes.

Small crowded noisy room with no seating and precarious canapés?;id just RSVP no and find a good excuse