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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask them to text me before using my garden?

252 replies

unassertive · 01/04/2022 16:12

We had a big play park installed in part of our back garden a while ago. I have a few local mums I have over for play dates quite a lot and they were all saying it's brilliant and better than the village park (the village park is awful which is why we initially decided to get our own) I said to them that as our house is empty most weekdays that they can feel free to use it when we're at work just let themselves in no need to ask.

Obviously they are only doing what I said they could, I don't think for a second they are being unreasonable. I've not been well this week and fell asleep on the sofa this morning and woke up hearing something and could see one of them out the french doors sat on the decking and her kids playing on the park. I felt really embarrassed having to stand up and wanted to just hide until she was gone as I didn't feel well or very social. I did pop out to say hi but got stuck in conversation and felt too awkward to ask her to go as I didn't feel well. It happened the other day too with a different friend and I just wanted to go put my washing out on the line but due to feeling unwell and looking rough I didn't want her to see me and she wasn't to know I was there so I just avoided doors and windows. Her toddler fell asleep in her buggy and she sat there on my garden furniture on her phone for a couple of hours and I just felt like I was having to hide in my own house

How do I retract an offer like this? I genuinely don't mind them using it outside of play dates but preferably only when I'm not home and feel obligated to go say hi, chat and offer coffee etc. AIBU if I ask if they could text first after all? I feel rude as is previously said just turn up and I don't want them to think I have a problem having to see them and get offended

OP posts:
AmyDudley · 04/04/2022 13:58

I would tell everyone that for privacy reasons you have decided to restrict the hours your play garden is open - and it will now be available Monday and Wednesday mornings only (or whatever you want to offer) and that if you happen to b working from home/off sick you will not open and will put a sign on the gate saying 'sorry closed today, open again on Xday'.
If people are effectively sitting in your garden on their phones, that's rude and they are taking the piss - if anyone questions your decision to restrict access just say some people were taking advantage and unfortunately it's meant you have to limit the times to protect your privacy.
You aren't obliged to allow anyone to use your equipment - it was a favour and it can be withdrawn if people behave badly.

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 04/04/2022 17:14

it was just a lot of money and the village one is crap so it made sense to get the use out of it - that was the logic

I doubt you are still reading, OP, but if you are please know: it is OK to have nice things; you don’t have to feel guilty about having nice things; you certainly don’t need to assuage that unnecessary guilt by removing all boundaries from your nice things.

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