Page 6 | To ask them to text me before using my garden?

MayMorris · 01/04/2022 20:38

Just be honest….say you hadn’t thought it through properly and a few times you’ve nearly been embarrassed in being caught in your next to nothings 🤣. Offer still stands mostly but please can they text first …and only come if positive response.

If they’re true friends they’ll have a giggle and be fine.

Hiphophippityskip1 · 01/04/2022 20:39

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Hiphophippityskip1 · 01/04/2022 20:43

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Moser85 · 01/04/2022 20:44

@unassertive

Well it genuinely hadn't occurred to me that anyone else would let themselves in or that those I had allowed would bring anyone, they haven't yet but perhaps I'm just naive! 4 days a week we are both at work and dc at nursery so I didn't mind then but being ill and working from home meant I was here when they didn't expect me to be.

I didn't think they'd be the type to sue me but to be fair they are all friends but very much through kids so perhaps I don't know them well enough to make a risky call. Cancelling the whole thing seems scarier but I feel I should now

It's not about being the type to sue or not.

Yes there are some assholes who would sue a friend if their child suffered a broken arm or something during normal play that could happen anywhere but most wouldn't because accidents happen.

but there are cases where a child could fall and suffer a catastrophic head injury and in that case the person has no choice but to sue, because lifelong care for the child will cost millions. Everyone has no choice but to sue in those cases.

Those are the cases where you hear of children suing parents through the other parent or through grandparents etc. It's not because they WANT to sue or they're the suing type, it's because the care after the accident is going to cost an incredible amount of money and the only way to get it is by suing. It wouldn't be personal or because of greed!

Underfrighter · 01/04/2022 20:50

No one is the 'type' to sue someone until their child has a random life changing injury and they need some money to help pay for care. You are leaving yourself wide open to a negligence claim here OP. I know you were just trying to be nice but the duty of care is so high towards kids, effectively 'at your own risk' doesn't exist

pictish · 01/04/2022 20:50

@Hiphophippityskip1

So when the king hot boring summer holidays come you can expect your garden to be full all day every day and I have no doubt at all that if you are home it will be only a matter of days before the “can we just pop in and use the loo/fill a water bottle/change a nappy requests start. What on earth where you thinking? Nip it in the bud now and say you have been informed this public use cannot continue as you do not have public liability insurance so going forward you will have to keep the garden access locked. It’s your garden and you don’t have to share it. Let others contact the council and ask for better facilities in the park.

Agree with all of this.

Moser85 · 01/04/2022 20:51

Sorry just to clarify, at the end I meant that that's why sometimes you hear of a child suing their father through their mother etc. it's not because they want to sue their father..or in your case it wouldn't be because they wanted to sue or blame you, it's done out of necessity.

okayigetit · 01/04/2022 20:52

@SnowyPetals

I would message them saying "Ladies I fear I was a bit hasty with the open house invitation for our playground. You're all still most welcome, I just don't think I should have left it completely open - some days won't work for us. Please can you drop me a text if you'd like to come over, and I can let you know if it's convenient? "

I would say this, it's matter of fact and non apologetic but also not rude and it feels chirpy enough and sounds reasonable

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/04/2022 20:54

Op, you need to put a stop to this. I just looked up the set you mentioned, and it's very clearly (and specifically says) that it is just for domestic use. This means it won't stand up to the sort of use a regular playpark gets and will get broken fairly quickly with that sort of use.

You need to be regularly checking all of the bolts (with heavy use they will start to loosen or pull through the wood). You also need to regularly check that the handles are secure and undamaged. The rope elements will be particularly susceptible to wear so keep a close eye on those (particularly the swings). The bridge will also wear. In fact you need to be regularly inspecting the whole thing. (To put it into context our local playpark is inspected weekly and that's all heavy duty metal and chains...

cherish123 · 01/04/2022 21:18

I think it was a mistake 😕 to let them use it without you. I know you were being kind. I can't imagine ever using it with you (the owner) being there. I'd feel uncomfortable. Make sure random people don't start using it. I'd be locking the gate, ask them to text you and say it's because randoms are using it.

Rosebuud · 01/04/2022 21:20

I can’t coprehend why you offered this, were you so flattered and Enamoured of yourself you didn’t think it through?

StoneofDestiny · 01/04/2022 21:48

Blimey - if something is faulty with your frame, or slippy if too wet etc you are leaving yourself open to getting sued if there is an injury!

I can't believe your house insurance people would like this free for all either.

Tell them you've been advised by your insurers that allowing people in your garden when you are not supervising is not wise and needs to stop.

eatentoomanygrapes · 01/04/2022 22:38

@HomeHomeInTheRange

And then when you see them be really honest “OMG, I’m so sorry about the change. But after DH only just managed to avoid flashing his starkers self through the French windows because he didn’t know anyone was there, we thought it was getting a bit risky! And to be honest, much as I love everyone, I didn’t realise how I would feel about being at home ill, and everyone out in my garden”.

This is perfect!

billy1966 · 01/04/2022 23:28

OP,

Call you house insurance and get clarification on public liability.

By inviting them to use the facilities at any time without you, you have left yourself wide open.

Really unbelievably so.

They could easily bring friends to this free public amenity that you have opened.

Get clarification and back away from this.

Fast.

Stressybetty · 02/04/2022 17:39

If they are genuinely your friends I don't see why you can't just be popping out to put washing out even if you look rough. It's your house! You shouldn't be made to feel awkward and embarrassed on your own property. If it's obvious your not well or busy at home then they should take the hint that they're in the way and piss off home! Having said that I'd probably be hiding behind curtains as well!

fatchilli123 · 02/04/2022 17:44

Your insurance will not cover them if you are not there . You will find also that this will mess up any future home insurance plan .
You may also have to check that your insurance is high enough at present too.

Jaxhog · 02/04/2022 17:54

As several people have already said, please don't ignore the insurance and liability issue. They may say they accept responsibility for injuries, but that could easily change if a serious accident happened. Ultimately it would be your liability unless you could prove otherwise.

purplevamp · 02/04/2022 17:57

@stuntbubbles

I would quite simply move house.

My answer to everything that I don't like or agree with

BoredZelda · 02/04/2022 17:59

Lie and say you’re concerned about the insurance implications.

BoredZelda · 02/04/2022 18:00

My answer to everything that I don't like or agree with

Did it once because I couldn’t face cleaning the oven. 😆

MyTeenagersPissMeOffMostDays · 02/04/2022 18:00

@unassertive

We had a big play park installed in part of our back garden a while ago. I have a few local mums I have over for play dates quite a lot and they were all saying it's brilliant and better than the village park (the village park is awful which is why we initially decided to get our own) I said to them that as our house is empty most weekdays that they can feel free to use it when we're at work just let themselves in no need to ask.

Obviously they are only doing what I said they could, I don't think for a second they are being unreasonable. I've not been well this week and fell asleep on the sofa this morning and woke up hearing something and could see one of them out the french doors sat on the decking and her kids playing on the park. I felt really embarrassed having to stand up and wanted to just hide until she was gone as I didn't feel well or very social. I did pop out to say hi but got stuck in conversation and felt too awkward to ask her to go as I didn't feel well. It happened the other day too with a different friend and I just wanted to go put my washing out on the line but due to feeling unwell and looking rough I didn't want her to see me and she wasn't to know I was there so I just avoided doors and windows. Her toddler fell asleep in her buggy and she sat there on my garden furniture on her phone for a couple of hours and I just felt like I was having to hide in my own house

How do I retract an offer like this? I genuinely don't mind them using it outside of play dates but preferably only when I'm not home and feel obligated to go say hi, chat and offer coffee etc. AIBU if I ask if they could text first after all? I feel rude as is previously said just turn up and I don't want them to think I have a problem having to see them and get offended

Why don't you text them when you are off work and say I'm home today and would rather not have anyone in the garden. Put in boundaries

BoredZelda · 02/04/2022 18:01

Your insurance will not cover them if you are not there . You will find also that this will mess up any future home insurance plan.
You may also have to check that your insurance is high enough at present too.

None of this is actually true, but enough people believe it for it to be plausible.

BoredZelda · 02/04/2022 18:03

Those are the cases where you hear of children suing parents through the other parent or through grandparents etc.

Now go find how many of those are actually successful.

Yogalola · 02/04/2022 18:11

Think I’d say husband has been renewing house insurance and noticed if accident occurred whilst you were out it could be an issue and say can’t allow people to come and use garden when you’re out

RazzlePuff · 02/04/2022 18:12

yellow danger/ security tape around something like it’s broken. Lock the gate. People will put 2+2 and realise it’s broken and closed. Never unlock the gate again.
* you don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you do at your house*
* or say you had insurance person around, told u gate had to be locked for health & safety and that YOU need to surpervise all invited visitors which obviously u are not going to do. *

We had problem at property where previous owners made mistake saying neighbors could walk large grounds while they were away. We had to be unpopular telling them no longer allowed access. I didn’t want strangers around my kids and they were having picnics w invited friends!! There was a pond and one parent let her kids play unsupervised - I would have been sued/prosecuted if kids got hurt or drowned. Not to mention I paid for my exclusive use of my garden … they did not!!