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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Life is pretty shit for a lot of people

356 replies

bananatwain · 01/04/2022 06:50

On a low wage. Living with parents. Paying £700 a month on childcare even with 30 free hours. Might have to get rid of my car. I have a strict budget and don't buy unnecessary junk. Will likely never be able to afford a house. Rent and bills extortionate and no prospect of me moving out any time soon. If I was renting I'd be screwed. Trying to get promoted at work but cost of living has driven job applications sky high so too competitive. I just wonder what the point is sometimes. I'm so worried about the future and money. Son going to school will help but I'm left with almost £40 which I pathetically save at the moment and £700 definitely won't cover rent and bills. Its actually making me unwell to think about... Anyone else?

OP posts:

lollipoprainbow · 03/04/2022 11:12

@RussianSpy101 you were very sanctimonious, smug and rude on this post and then you pop up on another post telling us about your amazing parents, you are still very very lucky to have your parents still. Life is very unfair. That was the point I was making.

Nothappyatwork · 03/04/2022 11:12

@KELLOGSspeck i’m not claiming for one second that I could look after multiple people with ill - health but yes I could look after my people if they were in ill-health. And yes my family could afford to stop work and look after me if I was in that situation we have insurance for such eventualities.
I obviously wasn’t in a childcare environment wiping arses, I was managing it and saw the quality of the care that cute little babies that could do nothing wrong was still shockingly bad and yes I did report it and yes they did nothing about it.

december212 · 03/04/2022 11:14

Bananatwain are you using the tax free childcare scheme? It's not much, but if eligible would save you 20% of your childcare costs?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/04/2022 11:18

[quote Nothappyatwork]@KELLOGSspeck i’m not claiming for one second that I could look after multiple people with ill - health but yes I could look after my people if they were in ill-health. And yes my family could afford to stop work and look after me if I was in that situation we have insurance for such eventualities.
I obviously wasn’t in a childcare environment wiping arses, I was managing it and saw the quality of the care that cute little babies that could do nothing wrong was still shockingly bad and yes I did report it and yes they did nothing about it.[/quote]
Imagine being this smug and tone deaf. You're embarrassing yourself.

Nothappyatwork · 03/04/2022 11:21

@Waxonwaxoff0 i’m not embarrassed, those haven’t pulled themselves up by the boot straps need to be embarrassed particularly if you’re over the age of 40, what have you been doing?
The other thread about everybody whingeing about rentals, just makes me laugh. My22-year-old is just bought her own house and she works part time. Life is full of choices.

KELLOGSspeck · 03/04/2022 11:21

@Nothappyatwork all I have to say is walk humbly in life because once poor health strikes you down no amount of insurance or paying carers will compensate. I find it most odd that you think you can boast and throw money at the situation without a second thought that IF IT WAS YOUR loved one that needed care the emotional effect it would have on your own well being. I can assure you would be enterally grateful for someone caring and looking after your disabled child. I stand by what I said I doubt you have the skill or emotional intelligence to do any of it.

"Wiping arse" old age comes to us all... I hope you get a lovely career YOU HAVE PAID for.

Look at Kate Garraway! I bet she would swop money in a flash.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/04/2022 11:24

[quote Nothappyatwork]@Waxonwaxoff0 i’m not embarrassed, those haven’t pulled themselves up by the boot straps need to be embarrassed particularly if you’re over the age of 40, what have you been doing?
The other thread about everybody whingeing about rentals, just makes me laugh. My22-year-old is just bought her own house and she works part time. Life is full of choices.[/quote]
I own my home but I don't look down on those who don't. You are embarrassing.

How did your 22 year old buy a home while working part time?

Nothappyatwork · 03/04/2022 11:25

@KELLOGSspeck I think it comes from the expectation that I have always expected that should anything happen to my child or to my loved ones that I would be the one that would be caring for them as i say having experienced members of the family that are carers I wouldn’t leave my elderly with those people. I wouldn’t leave my child or my grandchild with those people either it’s just a decision that I’ve always had at the back of my mind and I planned my life accordingly and even when things haven’t gone to plan as I say you have insurance in place to edge your bets.

Life is full of hards … being married is hard … being divorced is hard … going to work is hard … not going to work is hard you just have to choose your hard don’t you ?

Maverickess · 03/04/2022 11:27

[quote Nothappyatwork]@KELLOGSspeck i’m not claiming for one second that I could look after multiple people with ill - health but yes I could look after my people if they were in ill-health. And yes my family could afford to stop work and look after me if I was in that situation we have insurance for such eventualities.
I obviously wasn’t in a childcare environment wiping arses, I was managing it and saw the quality of the care that cute little babies that could do nothing wrong was still shockingly bad and yes I did report it and yes they did nothing about it.[/quote]
Just a thought, but without the minimum wage arse wipers - just who would you have been managing?

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/04/2022 11:27

Blimey OP, you are doing incredibly well. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

You have a huge amount going on, but keep in mind this is probably the toughest time.

It’s easier to say than do, but I think the best thing is to work on increasing your earning power. It might be best to start a separate thread on this, but you sound very bright, resilient and motivated, and despite the total shitshow we are living in, there are still buoyant sectors and some professions with good futures. You are right that you aren’t going to lift yourself out of this on a PT admin job.. but you can lift yourself out of this.

KELLOGSspeck · 03/04/2022 11:28

@Nothappyatwork nobody chooses ill health. Just like you didn't choose being privileged. You clearly was born with that silver spoon.

Its disgusting your inability to see that others come from a different place.

Your DD has bought a house a 22.... most likely because you encouraged her didn't you? You supported her and lead her on that path.... you let her live rent free and that wonderful FOR YOU AND YOURS.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 03/04/2022 11:29

[quote Nothappyatwork]@Waxonwaxoff0 i’m not embarrassed, those haven’t pulled themselves up by the boot straps need to be embarrassed particularly if you’re over the age of 40, what have you been doing?
The other thread about everybody whingeing about rentals, just makes me laugh. My22-year-old is just bought her own house and she works part time. Life is full of choices.[/quote]
You may not be embarrassed, but you are embarrassing.

Incidentally, I wish you're trotted out "pulled themselves up by the boot straps" ten minutes earlier, because I had a fiver on with my OH that you'd get to it before a quarter past.

Nothappyatwork · 03/04/2022 11:34

[quote KELLOGSspeck]@Nothappyatwork nobody chooses ill health. Just like you didn't choose being privileged. You clearly was born with that silver spoon.

Its disgusting your inability to see that others come from a different place.

Your DD has bought a house a 22.... most likely because you encouraged her didn't you? You supported her and lead her on that path.... you let her live rent free and that wonderful FOR YOU AND YOURS.[/quote]
@KELLOGSspeck all of my family come from Easterhouse in Glasgow, google it it’s horrendous half of them are still there and the other half of them are solicitors, nurses, think one of them
Is a marketing manager, you get the jist. The half that still live in that situation are no less intelligent than the ones that don’t. All about choices.

RussianSpy101 · 03/04/2022 12:07

@lollipoprainbow I know I’m lucky to have my parents.
If you actually read the other thread you’re referring to, I think I’m one of the only ones who posted something that didn’t refer to money.
I know how precious life is.

90% of the people on that thread titled something like “what thoughtful things do your parents do you for” also posted about things their parents do for them.
Absolutely no relevance to this thread whatsoever.
Are you also checking up on the other people who’ve posted on that thread?

goodnightgrumble · 03/04/2022 12:39

30 hours a week is only for 38 or 39 weeks of the year. School holidays need paying for and it is divided over the year so 700 is reasonable.

KELLOGSspeck · 03/04/2022 14:40

@nothappyatwork I will have a read and Google thanks. I was not the poster that stated about intelligence I have spoken UPON guidance.... I didn't have this and many others did not. I mentioned degrees not because I felt people who don't hold one aren't intelligent I'm just saying quite often in order to obtain those qualifications people have come from a guided backgrounds RTFT.

KELLOGSspeck · 03/04/2022 14:43

@Nothappyatwork also a solicitor is quite a high job in terms of pressure alone you need to be able to with stand this and be organised. How can you assume all of your family members capabilities? everyone is different. Even nursing I've seen many quit.

I'm not sure why people on this thread fail to understand individual capabilities. We would all be managers if that were the case. Again it's very ridiculous you need people at ALL levels for the ship to sail.... it doesn't deem you any less of a person though.

Nothappyatwork · 03/04/2022 14:49

Again, Intelligence and capabilities are different things.

KELLOGSspeck · 03/04/2022 15:04

@Nothappyatwork

Again, Intelligence and capabilities are different things.

Well they come hand in hand in a work place. Which intelligent incapable nurse have you met? Because she would soon loose her pin if she was just intelligent but incapable 9f giving the correct dose of medicine.

How can one be so obtuse. FFS.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 03/04/2022 15:08

@Nothappyatwork

Again, Intelligence and capabilities are different things.

As are choices and opportunities.

Nothappyatwork · 03/04/2022 15:11

Ha ha theres hundreds of doctors like that @KELLOGSspeck

KELLOGSspeck · 03/04/2022 15:40

@Nothappyatwork

Ha ha theres hundreds of doctors like that *@KELLOGSspeck*

Ignorance is bliss. My point still standards.

To be a doctor takes years and most doctors have parents/background whom are also doctors...

ClaudiusTheGod · 03/04/2022 16:11

OP, ignore RussianSpy101, she seems to forget that she struck lucky by marrying a bloke who has made a lot of money. She’s trying to frame it as good choices, but if he leaves her next week she won’t be blaming herself.

lollipoprainbow · 03/04/2022 17:33

@RussianSpy101 90% of those people hadn't been rude on this post !!

RussianSpy101 · 03/04/2022 18:00

@ClaudiusTheGod nice try but a massive fail 😂😂😂😂

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