Life is pretty shit for a lot of people

[bananatwain]

On a low wage. Living with parents. Paying £700 a month on childcare even with 30 free hours. Might have to get rid of my car. I have a strict budget and don't buy unnecessary junk. Will likely never be able to afford a house. Rent and bills extortionate and no prospect of me moving out any time soon. If I was renting I'd be screwed. Trying to get promoted at work but cost of living has driven job applications sky high so too competitive. I just wonder what the point is sometimes. I'm so worried about the future and money. Son going to school will help but I'm left with almost £40 which I pathetically save at the moment and £700 definitely won't cover rent and bills. Its actually making me unwell to think about... Anyone else?

Sorry you’re in such a difficult situation, sounds like you’re doing amazingly well holding down a job. I think marriage or partnership with children can be a huge financial risk for women if it doesn’t work out, and surprised by the judgemental posts for basically being a single parent!! Daily mail readers? Don’t think they even bash single parents any more. What do you do for work? Is IT an option? Some professions have benevolent funds. Sorry not to be much help, just wanted to voice some support as a single parent too.

I know easier said then done but can you start training or work in an apprenticeship area of work that has a high demand for people but low supply. What about IT, cyber security.

Was about to type what @RagingRagingAndMoreRaging put but less articulately.

25 years ago I had an unplanned baby because I had sex with my boyfriend without a condom and didn't want an abortion. So fucking what? Everything turned out brilliantly in the end because houses were about 300% cheaper and there were tax credits when I needed them. @RussianSpy101 Are only rich people with mortgages allowed to have babies now?

Yup life is shit right now, we have a eyewatering mortgage after 7 years off the property ladder, disaster with last financial crisis. And now a kid at uni with us topping up her rent and food and 1 at college needing buses and its all on a knife edge paid 25th broke by the 2nd of each month I'm the queen of cost cutting and I'm struggling now

If you work in the public sector then hopefully your longer term prospects are better.

But rather than trying for promotion, you may have success quicker in applying for posts a grade up in different departments. Many have to be advertised internally first. Make sure you keep a regular eye on the jobs section of the intranet.
The promotions process is a slow beast sadly.

If you see anything suitable come back for advice on your application. You sound strong and driven so sure you'd be an asset

Oh and joining a credit union is what I think someone further up was trying to recommend

@MalFunkshun

OP PLEASE don’t feel you have to justify your life choices to some random sanctimonious posters or, indeed, to anyone. I assume it makes them feel better to pass casual judgement on other people, but do ignore them.

Sorry to hear how tough everything is for you do go for the promotions, it’s always worth it for the experience and confidence at fielding the process. And well done for keeping on.

All of this

YANBU

@SnackSizeRaisin

Move to a cheaper area? Claim universal credit to get help with costs?

You are at the most difficult point with a pre school aged child - things will get cheaper.

But I do think it might be of benefit to count your blessings a bit too. You have a roof over your head, a job, free education for your child, free healthcare for both of you, parents who love you enough to help. A peaceful country with benefits. Even a car is a huge luxury that only 50% of adults in this country have. And we are in one of the richest countries in the world. I suggest going to one of the many poorer countries around the world to see how they manage. Or even how poor people in this country lived a few decades ago.

Maybe your living conditions are not what you aspire to but it's a long way from poverty.

What absolute rubbish.

Our childcare was similar full time. Have you claimed tax free childcare? It made a big difference. I'd also echo that I'm not sure you're getting that much from living with your parents so may well be worth looking at what you could get for benefits living alone to help get you back on your feet. This is exactly the situation it's for.

Otherwise, I think it's totally reasonable to feel frustrated by the situation. You've been dealt a rough hand and it sounds like you're doing your best with it. I really hope things improve for you soon (and for all those in similar situations).

Ooh, the apprentice levy is a good idea. I've known a few people get qualifications through that and it's been a springboard to better paid jobs.

I think if your parents are charging you rent, and a third of bills, you may be better off moving out and qualifying for more benefits? It’s worth looking into.

Also, it will make a difference to finances when your son is out of nursery.

It’s also worth making as much effort as possible to use your admin skills to move from part time public sector, to full time private sector. There are lots of jobs around for people with experience.

Life is often a series of peaks and troughs. I hope you find yourself in a peak soon enough.

OP I think you are doing absolutely brilliantly. Struggling a bit with whom to mentally award the title of Arsehole of the thread to on this thread , a few contenders. Glad to see they are heavily outnumbered by supportive posters. It is most definitely a sport for some on here.

As I say to my DD sometimes things are shit and it is important to acknowledge that and allow yourself a bit of time time to feel sad and a bit of a wallow then get back up and keep on keeping on as you are doing. This will get better for you in time. So sorry to all those who are struggling 💐

@bananatwain your childcare costs make no sense , you should be paying £105 a month not £700 UC will pay the other 85% . Are you paying the £300 to your parents out of UC non rent element ? If so you would be better off moving and and claiming they rent element.

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]@bananatwain your childcare costs make no sense , you should be paying £105 a month not £700 UC will pay the other 85% . Are you paying the £300 to your parents out of UC non rent element ? If so you would be better off moving and and claiming they rent element.[/quote]
Op says she is getting 30 free hours so won't get UC childcare element too.
And how do you know she would be better off moving and claiming Uc rent element? decent rentals are hard to find. UC LHA may not cover rent and presumably op would be responsible for all bills, council tax etc on her own. If op claims UC she will be getting a higher work allowance for having no rent element on her claim.

@Babyroobs Op says she is getting 30 free hours so won't get UC childcare element too. surely you know that’s not true. You can use UC to pay for additional childcare that isn’t covered by the 30 hours.
Maybe not re the rent but it’s worth looking into.

Tory Britain. Let’s give them a strong and resounding message at the local elections on 5th May that we will not tolerate this anymore. They are nothing more than a bunch of self serving imbiciles and the sooner we vote them out the better.

We have had 12 years of a Tory government whose main concern is keeping its wealthy friends happy. Living standards for the less well off have deteriorated and millions are now in poverty. Our taxes and benefits are determined by a chancellor whose family wealth means he travels by private jet. Our prime minister has his meals holidays and interior decoration are paid by rich donors. Yes life is shit, and the reason is staring us in the face

@RussianSpy101

in fairness I think it’s down to us as individuals to enhance our prospects.

God I wish I was as naive as you. Our current system doesn't allow for everyone to enhance their prospects on their own. It is a pyramid with a huge foundation of low earning working class propping it up. There simply isn't the structure to allow for everyone to move up the system. Imagine what would happen if every retail worker, waiter, manual worker, carer, etc was actually able to move into a more senior role. The system would collapse completely. If the system needs people to stay in certain lanes it should ensure those people are rewarded fairly, but it doesn't.

That is why intervention is needed. In the 5th richest country in the world there should be no one, absolutely no one, struggling to make ends meet. A minimum wage job should allow someone to meet all their basic needs AND have a reasonable amount left for wants. The only reason this doesn't happen is the greed of the elite and the desire to keep people suppressed so they can continue to accumulate more and more. It's incredibly disheartening to see people still fall for the "you just need to work/study hard and you'll make it" lie we are peddled from school.

AND have a reasonable amount left for wants
Ultimately that’s what keeps the economy going. Enough money for the occasional takeaway, day out, treat.
It keeps people employed, taxes paid.

I'm so sorry. A lot of households have two earners, which is the only way we can do it. O. My own, I'd be screwed.

There simply isn't enough help for those of us 'just about managing' and there never has been. I think we are known as JAM's. The cost of living has risen but wages haven't and we can't all just swan off and bag ourselves a new job. We need a government who cares about us, but I won't hold my breath.

I'm so sorry you had to go through any of that. You don't need to explain yourself and it's very off and judgemental of any poster to ever start judging people's circumstances, especially when they have no knowledge of that person's life.

@HistoricMoment @Carryonmarion Everyone and anyone is entitled to have children, or pets, or expensive cars or second homes, or anything else they want and can afford. But they should not rely on others to finance any of the above. If they decided to go ahead when they were financially stable and had the means to fund the above even in the event of a wobble, then fine. But to go ahead when you could easily find yourself in dire straights because you don't have a sufficiently large 'rainy day' fund to sustain what you chose to have, is unfair towards those who then have to carry you. Indulging yourself is NOT a right.

@bananatwain a thought I’ve had, is your role term time? That will save you a fortune when yours is at school with holiday cover

Do your parents help with childcare?
Looking to improve your qualifications is good advice. Thy woman's aid and workers education as well.
Avoid social media, it is toxic in many cases. Avoid trash TV. Greed, envy and dumbing down.
Enjoy every minute with your child and parents.