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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To absolutely HATE unannounced visitors

178 replies

pinkpapaya · 30/03/2022 23:03

I know that I am a bit territorial over my space but I absolutely hate people who just 'drop in' unannounced! I could be in my knickers with a face mask in the middle of the day, having a bad migraine or just fancy uninterrupted time but no, apparently some people think that they can just visit when ever it is convenient for them. It really bugs me. I have actually hidden when the door knocks sometimes because I just can't face the small talk or having to have the house in 'show room' condition. My mum doesn't understand it as she loves visitors whether she has warning or not but to me it feels like an invasion of privacy. She has told me that I am unsociable but am I being unreasonable to expect a call or a text to ask if it is even convenient for them to come?

OP posts:
LizzoBennett · 30/03/2022 23:05

Absolute nightmare in my opinion.

Smartiepants79 · 30/03/2022 23:06

Well I’d depends a bit on why they’ve come. Just popped round to drop something off? Or planning to stay for lunch??
Can you not just ignore the door if you’re not wanting to be seen?
Does this really happen that often?
I can’t remember the last time anyone I know really just dropped round and expected to be let in.

smoocakes6 · 30/03/2022 23:23

I'm with you . I hate it . And I'd never do it to someone else . But my mums the same as yours . Their generation i reckon

dipdye · 30/03/2022 23:26

Awful.

One of the good reasons to live abroad

Birdfooddirect · 30/03/2022 23:27

People come to our back door - I can't escape, it's so bloody inconsiderate, just like the early people on the other thread over there 👉

Vargas · 30/03/2022 23:28

I quite like it, but the only people that drop in are good mates...

ComDummings · 30/03/2022 23:28

I also hate it. I appreciate a text warning, even if it’s 10 minutes so I can mentally prepare or lie and say I’m already out Grin

HellToTheNope · 30/03/2022 23:29

@LizzoBennett

Absolute nightmare in my opinion.
Yup, and incredibly rude.
SawnWood · 30/03/2022 23:29

Nope! Need a text or heads up. Always.

SpacePotato · 30/03/2022 23:31

@Birdfooddirect

People come to our back door - I can't escape, it's so bloody inconsiderate, just like the early people on the other thread over there 👉
I grew up in a house where anyone and everyone would just turn up anytime and go round the back and just walk in.

I hated it.

Is it really so difficult for people to ring, text or simply pre arrange visits?

Pippin2028 · 30/03/2022 23:32

I definitely think it's a generational thing, as some of my relatives think absolutely nothing of turning up and expecting you to drop everything for them and been insulted when you don't. But in this day and age it's really not appropriate unless it's a genuine emergency. You may just have to be clear to everyone that you need your own space and they should respect that

XenoBitch · 30/03/2022 23:35

I hate it too. It is rude as fuck.

On FB, there is a post about mental health that gets shared a lot. Part of it mentions about going to someone's house unannounced because "even if they say no, they mean yes" bollocks. Winds me up every time I see it. Nothing is better for setting off anxiety than unannounced guests,.

Newtonred · 30/03/2022 23:39

Luckily apart from batshit neighbour who doesn’t get past the front door only my brother does this and he is very much will take you as I find you and does not judge if it’s a bit of a mess so I don’t mind.
Other people it would really annoy me

Fl0w3ry · 30/03/2022 23:39

I hate it. We have some that look through the letterbox and call our name if we don’t answer then repeatedly use their mobile to phone our landline and mobiles whilst they are stood outside! Boundaries mean nothing to some people.

HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 30/03/2022 23:39

Open house here ... I understand why some people don't like it though. I love a noisy busy house

Newtonred · 30/03/2022 23:40

And he only comes about once a month

FreezyFreezy · 31/03/2022 00:08

At our house, people take us as they find us and I really don't mind people coming over unannounced. I never ever just lounge around in my pants and dh and I lock the door if we're busy (😉) so no-one's going to walk in and see something they shouldn't. The only people who drop in are, of course, those we like and are close to so it really doesn't bother us.

lifeuphigh · 31/03/2022 00:13

I love it and I’m in my 30s.

SevenWaystoLeave · 31/03/2022 00:15

I can only just about cope with announced visitors

StScholastica · 31/03/2022 00:17

I don't mind family but we get pestered by neighbours. One little old dear Hmm even called the police because we ignored her rattling our door on a Sunday morning. We were having a nice long "lie in" because our dc had slept over at their grandparents.

She told the police she was concerned for our welfare.
Sometimes I hate people.

SoItWas · 31/03/2022 00:34

.

To absolutely HATE unannounced visitors
LookMoreCloselier · 31/03/2022 00:39

Absolutely hate it. Dropping something off is just about ok but coming in- so rude to expect you to drop everything to make them a cup of tea. I'm often in a mess either me, the house or both. Just text first. So I can think of an excuse. Grin

huniimhome · 31/03/2022 00:39

I hate this with a passion! It's so rude and inconsiderate and very nosey too. My MIL has a bad habit of doing this. She will creep up to the door and peer thru to living room and if she can't see anyone she'll stand at the front door and try to peer in. I hate her and think she is the rudest bitch I've ever met.

avamiah · 31/03/2022 00:46

I hate it and won’t have it and I now lock my front gate even if I’m home and Amazon now just throw parcels over the wall ( with my permission)

phoenixrosehere · 31/03/2022 00:47

YANBU

My dad grew up with a revolving door as did my DH. My sister and I did not because my mother worked long hours and the last thing she wanted to do was entertain people especially any who chose to drop by unannounced and often the only people around was either me and/or my sister if we weren’t somewhere else so the house was usually empty. When though my DH has fond memories of doing such visits, he definitely didn’t want it in his own home and I enjoy the relatively peace and quiet not having to entertain people. Also, helps the closest family member is 2.5 hours away. I also don’t like dropping in on people and my dad did this with us as kids. I would get so excited seeing someone not knowing my dad didn’t call beforehand and be disappointed when no one was home.