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AIBU?

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Original poster

To absolutely HATE unannounced visitors

178 replies

pinkpapaya · 30/03/2022 23:03

I know that I am a bit territorial over my space but I absolutely hate people who just 'drop in' unannounced! I could be in my knickers with a face mask in the middle of the day, having a bad migraine or just fancy uninterrupted time but no, apparently some people think that they can just visit when ever it is convenient for them. It really bugs me. I have actually hidden when the door knocks sometimes because I just can't face the small talk or having to have the house in 'show room' condition. My mum doesn't understand it as she loves visitors whether she has warning or not but to me it feels like an invasion of privacy. She has told me that I am unsociable but am I being unreasonable to expect a call or a text to ask if it is even convenient for them to come?

OP posts:
DFOD · 31/03/2022 19:07

The same idiot knocked at our front door during first Covid lockdown - didn’t answer - he then walked down the side of our house knocking on my children’s bedrooms windows (bungalow) to get them to answer the door (they were teens home schooling) - I opened the window and told him to LEAVE !!

MrOllivander · 31/03/2022 19:08

I don't mind providing you take me and the house as you find it and I can carry on with whatever I was doing!
Last summer a small child knocked on the window from a few doors down and I was about to my best go away face when he said "mum says to tell you we are having a BBQ and if you want food then just come over"
Saved me cooking Grin

ComeSailAway · 31/03/2022 19:20

I think it's a habit of the older generation.
My elderly friend does this all the time and her friends of a similar age seem to enjoy it. If they don't answer the door, sometimes she just walks in!
Doors left unlocked, another habit of bygone days.

ComeSailAway · 31/03/2022 19:22

Incidentally... it was also a point of pride with housewives of days gone by that they would be ready to receive visitors at any time. House clean, freshly baked cakes etc available...

Surgarblossom · 31/03/2022 19:27

I with you 100% I hate it too!

Surgarblossom · 31/03/2022 19:29

@huniimhome

I hate this with a passion! It's so rude and inconsiderate and very nosey too. My MIL has a bad habit of doing this. She will creep up to the door and peer thru to living room and if she can't see anyone she'll stand at the front door and try to peer in. I hate her and think she is the rudest bitch I've ever met.
This really made me laugh..I feel the same about my MIL
AngelinaFibres · 31/03/2022 19:30

@MidnightMeltdown

I don't like this either, but what annoys me even more are the charity workers who knock on your door in the middle of the day, expect you to stand there for ages while they witter, and then ask you for money.

This irritates the hell out of me as I mostly work from home, am busy during the day, and sometimes have to leave a meeting to answer the door.

When I want to give money to charity, I know how to do it. I don't need people to come and harass me at home. It's so intrusive.

We used to get this a lot .Covid seems to have killed it off. I am very happy about it. The Nottingham knockers seem to have disappeared too. I have taken to sneaking upstairs (I can move quite fast) and looking out of the window to see who is knocking. If I don't know them/ want to see them I don't answer the door. Family all text each other before turning up. I woukd never go to someone's house unannounced. If I was passing on the way home I would stop somewhere and text first. I wouldn't go if I hadn't had a reply.
Davros · 31/03/2022 19:39

Get a basic Ring doorbell, look at who is there and don't answer.

concernedalot · 31/03/2022 19:42

I hate it, had a friend visit to drop off a christmas card, and of course you have to have a bit of a chat at the door. At the time i'd just had a shower, was in my pj's hair all straggly and wet and dealing with different pans on the stove. it was just the worst time. I think it's a bit inconsiderate, even though she meant well i'm not just going to say thanks for your card, bye and slam the door in her face am I!

Georgyporky · 31/03/2022 19:46

I hate it, & simply don't answer the door.

I don't think it's an "age" thing; more likely cultural and/or regional.

Fairislefandango · 31/03/2022 19:46

I wouldn't like it either, but fortunately it literally never happens to me. None of the people I know locally would do this, and my nearest family live 4 hours away, so popping in doesn't happen.

guiltynetter · 31/03/2022 19:47

My mum called in unexpextedly the other day (was driving by) and the kids got SO excited and so did I 🙈 it made me realise how it's so nice to have a surprise visit sometimes. I mean no I don't want it constantly but close friends and family yes. Come whenever you want to and they don't need to text first.

Qwill · 31/03/2022 19:49

Might be in a minority, but I don’t think I’ve ever had this?! Might be a generational thing, but all of my friends would text or call first. Family live quite far away, so they would do that either.

2pinkginsplease · 31/03/2022 19:50

I wouldn’t just appear at anyones door whether they be family or friends and I wouldn’t expect anyone to do it to us. I come home from work most nights, shower and put my pj’s on covid and lockdowns have made us even more anti social.

I love visiting people and going out but not unannounced.

WildFlowerBees · 31/03/2022 19:52

One of the best things about lockdown was no one knocking at the door. Generally though most people we know always message beforehand.

SquirrelG · 31/03/2022 20:04

You are being ridiculous. If you really don't want visitors then don't answer the door - it's pretty simple really.

Why does your house have to be in 'show room' condition? Surely people are visiting you, not inspecting your house. I grew up in the era where people just popped in, and it never bothered me what my house looked like - and it still doesn't. I certainly wouldn't expect family to annouce they were coming to see me. If I were busy and a friend dropped in I would be more than happy to stop whatever I was doing for a chat and a coffee. What a strange world some people live in these days.

Herejustforthisone · 31/03/2022 20:07

I hate it because of my in-laws’ habit of doing it. Not just doing it, coming round to the back of my house and rattling the door handles, while shouting ‘coooooeeeeeeee’. Gives me absolute rage.

phoenixrosehere · 31/03/2022 20:44

I grew up in the era where people just popped in, and it never bothered me what my house looked like - and it still doesn't.

So? It bothers her though as well as others. It’s her home and about her comfort. Nothing wrong with wanting to have a tidy house when people come over nor is not caring about such things.

JamieJ1234 · 31/03/2022 21:03

UANBU I completely hate it and think it's rude. I found it especially difficult after the birth of my son, during the pandemic and in the middle of winter that people (namely my partners friends) just showed up unannounced, kept us on the doorstep chatting, when I'm stood there 3 days postpartum, in a nightie, looking and feeling like I'd been hit by a bus. I felt embarrassed and annoyed!!

Passthebubbly · 31/03/2022 23:34

This situation is actually about to end a friendship for me. Have asked so many times for her to just text and check i am free. Happens multiple times a month and once she stayed for 11 hours as I felt too polite to ask her to leave.

Krabapple · 31/03/2022 23:52

I love having visitors but when I am expecting it. It’s a complete pain when I was planning on doing something and I can’t or it throws my timings out. Even worse now I’m mostly wfh & ppl drop in for a quick coffee - it never is and I have work to do.

SquirrelG · 01/04/2022 03:18

Well, personally I think you all have sad little lives if it is too much trouble to welcome a family member or a friend into your home without having advance warning that they are coming. Where I live people still say "If you're in the neighbourhood call in for a coffee" and mean it.

mydogisthebest · 01/04/2022 08:54

@SquirrelG

Well, personally I think you all have sad little lives if it is too much trouble to welcome a family member or a friend into your home without having advance warning that they are coming. Where I live people still say "If you're in the neighbourhood call in for a coffee" and mean it.
My family members and friends are not rude so do not just turn up.

I don't have a sad little life but the neighbours who think it is ok to come into your back garden and knock on the back door or even open it are sad and rude.

I have a FRONT door for a reason but it seems that is not the Northerners way!

FTEngineerM · 01/04/2022 09:18

Aww, if you think the fact I like notice makes my little life sad @SquirrelG you should see my little excited dance when the latest selection of nespresso pods arrives.

SartresSoul · 01/04/2022 09:20

MIL is the queen of this and she just walks in as well, doesn’t even knock. Walked in on me topless breastfeeding newborn DS once, I was completely mortified. I make sure the door is locked but DH gave her a spare key for when we’re away so she uses that! I’d never just walk into anyone’s home and I definitely wouldn’t arrive unannounced, so rude.

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