Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To absolutely HATE unannounced visitors

178 replies

pinkpapaya · 30/03/2022 23:03

I know that I am a bit territorial over my space but I absolutely hate people who just 'drop in' unannounced! I could be in my knickers with a face mask in the middle of the day, having a bad migraine or just fancy uninterrupted time but no, apparently some people think that they can just visit when ever it is convenient for them. It really bugs me. I have actually hidden when the door knocks sometimes because I just can't face the small talk or having to have the house in 'show room' condition. My mum doesn't understand it as she loves visitors whether she has warning or not but to me it feels like an invasion of privacy. She has told me that I am unsociable but am I being unreasonable to expect a call or a text to ask if it is even convenient for them to come?

OP posts:
MidnightMeltdown · 31/03/2022 00:59

I don't like this either, but what annoys me even more are the charity workers who knock on your door in the middle of the day, expect you to stand there for ages while they witter, and then ask you for money.

This irritates the hell out of me as I mostly work from home, am busy during the day, and sometimes have to leave a meeting to answer the door.

When I want to give money to charity, I know how to do it. I don't need people to come and harass me at home. It's so intrusive.

Coffeencrochet · 31/03/2022 01:04

@SevenWaystoLeave

I can only just about cope with announced visitors
Absolutely this.
Newestname002 · 31/03/2022 02:02

@Birdfooddirect

People come to our back door - I can't escape, it's so bloody inconsiderate, just like the early people on the other thread over there 👉

I really wouldn't like this intrusion. Are you able to put gate with a lock or bolts to stop their access? 🌹

NancyDrooo · 31/03/2022 02:13

Put a coat on when you go to answer the door - you’ve either just got home or are just going out, depending on whether you want to invite them in or not.

Twokidsanddone · 31/03/2022 02:19

I have older family members that love to show up unannounced. They've gone on about how in their day people had manners and answered the door. I try to remind them that they Also didn't have mobile phones. But now we do so please call ahead. There's really not a reason not to in this day and age. Has reduced it but not stopped it. If I don't answer the door they chap the windows looking for the kids attention. We fell out when I was pregnant with DS1 as they did it as I was on the way out the door. Said my plans could wait and just marched in past me. With 2 under 3 my house in not in show home condition unless I'm expecting guests. First thing they do is moan about DC having toys in the living room as they should only be allowed in the bedroom. My kids live here I'm not shutting them upstairs to play. Glad I'm not the only one that wishes I had black out blinds every time the door knocks!

Original poster
pinkpapaya · 31/03/2022 16:15

@StScholastica

I don't mind family but we get pestered by neighbours. One little old dear Hmm even called the police because we ignored her rattling our door on a Sunday morning. We were having a nice long "lie in" because our dc had slept over at their grandparents.

She told the police she was concerned for our welfare.
Sometimes I hate people.

OMG!!! Confused
OP posts:
Original poster
pinkpapaya · 31/03/2022 16:16

@Twokidsanddone

I have older family members that love to show up unannounced. They've gone on about how in their day people had manners and answered the door. I try to remind them that they Also didn't have mobile phones. But now we do so please call ahead. There's really not a reason not to in this day and age. Has reduced it but not stopped it. If I don't answer the door they chap the windows looking for the kids attention. We fell out when I was pregnant with DS1 as they did it as I was on the way out the door. Said my plans could wait and just marched in past me. With 2 under 3 my house in not in show home condition unless I'm expecting guests. First thing they do is moan about DC having toys in the living room as they should only be allowed in the bedroom. My kids live here I'm not shutting them upstairs to play. Glad I'm not the only one that wishes I had black out blinds every time the door knocks!
Yes. For me it is a respect issue. If you know that it isn't welcome behaviour, why would you continue with it?
OP posts:
Original poster
pinkpapaya · 31/03/2022 16:17

@MidnightMeltdown

I don't like this either, but what annoys me even more are the charity workers who knock on your door in the middle of the day, expect you to stand there for ages while they witter, and then ask you for money.

This irritates the hell out of me as I mostly work from home, am busy during the day, and sometimes have to leave a meeting to answer the door.

When I want to give money to charity, I know how to do it. I don't need people to come and harass me at home. It's so intrusive.

Oh yes! I totally get this. Apart from the fact that there are so many fraudsters out there...
OP posts:
XDownwiththissortofthingX · 31/03/2022 16:17

Why do you bother hiding? I just ignore the door. Nobody's business but mine if I choose not to answer their knock/ring.

Original poster
pinkpapaya · 31/03/2022 16:17

@NancyDrooo

Put a coat on when you go to answer the door - you’ve either just got home or are just going out, depending on whether you want to invite them in or not.
Great idea! x
OP posts:
kimbolita · 31/03/2022 16:19

@SevenWaystoLeave

I can only just about cope with announced visitors
Same.

I happily ignore the door.

Original poster
pinkpapaya · 31/03/2022 16:19

@dipdye

Awful.

One of the good reasons to live abroad

I wish that I still did!
OP posts:
Original poster
pinkpapaya · 31/03/2022 16:20

@Fl0w3ry

I hate it. We have some that look through the letterbox and call our name if we don’t answer then repeatedly use their mobile to phone our landline and mobiles whilst they are stood outside! Boundaries mean nothing to some people.
That is outrageous!
OP posts:
grapewines · 31/03/2022 16:21

It's rude, and I don't answer the door to unannounced visitors. Friends and family know to text first to find out if it's a good time.

Champsandbubbles · 31/03/2022 16:22

I don't mind this, I lived in a house where no one, and I mean no one, was allowed unless planned in advance or the 'big' clean done! It was quite miserable, my friends family always welcomed people and the house was always ready for it

I always try keep bathrooms and communal areas clean and tidy because if people do come I want to welcome them in.

Tink626 · 31/03/2022 16:27

YANBU I don't like visitors full stop!

CeratopsofthePharoahs · 31/03/2022 16:27

How hard is it to call or text someone to say "Hi, we're passing by where you live, would it be ok if we popped in or are you busy?"

It's not hard at all.

And why is it that the people who just turn up always react badly when you tell them they can't come in? Somehow whatever it is you happen to be doing is of less importance to them being able to barge in.

MissConductUS · 31/03/2022 16:28

We've been in our house since 2003 and the only unannounced visitor we've ever had were two women who were hiking nearby and got lost. We gave them directions.

I'm in the US. Perhaps it's less of a thing here.

gogohm · 31/03/2022 16:31

No one has ever come unannounced to my house, my family and friends are polite

Laiste · 31/03/2022 16:34

Oh i am surprised the vote is so much in favour of no visitors!

I mean, i'm firmly in the YANBU camp. I hate People Who Pop In as well. I just expected MN to be more of a mix. I'm sure it used to be last time this was asked.

SnowyPetals · 31/03/2022 16:34

It depends what their expectations are. I don't mind if people drop by to deliver something and I would usually offer them a coffee, but it's not on to expect lunch or dinner without prior warning.

Theyulelog · 31/03/2022 16:34

It’s actually the worst.
My parents just walk in usually and I fucking hate it. Then I get comments on the pile of ironing waiting to go away etc Hmm you can see my mum just looking around the place.
My dh’s grandparents just turn up
Without a text as well. I was just passing etc, you feel so put upon and it’s all awkward.
My friend has also done it a few times.

I like to prepare the house for visitors, wack on a bit mascara etc.
I’m heavily pregnant just now and have been wearing dh’s daddy pig pjs because they fit and are so comfy. Would never be seen dead in them, so if the door goes it’s not getting answered.

Lovebroccoli · 31/03/2022 16:35

When I was young (many years ago), people used to call unexpectedly all the time. My mother never minded - it was in the days before mobile phones though, so not the same.
I think it's an older generation thing. I would never call anywhere if I wasn't expected, it's just rude.

LakieLady · 31/03/2022 16:36

I hate it.

I've been struggling with my MH following a bereavement, and there are many days where I can't face doing more than throwing on whatever clothes are nearest to hand and slobbing on the sofa. I don't want to see people when I'm feeling too low to even get in the shower, ffs.

If people ring or text first, at least I can explain that I don't feel up to seeing anyone when I'm really low.

byvirtue · 31/03/2022 16:37

Hate it. One of the reasons I got electric gates as now they have to be buzzed in. Or not if I don’t fancy it!

Swipe left for the next trending thread