How do you imagine the average Mumsnetter to be?

[mycatisannoying]

• Sensible
• Sensible clothing
• Frugal with money
• Disapproving of trivialities, such as spending too much on Christmas presents or cosmetics
• Assertive
• Will say 'no' for the sake of it sometimes
• Uncompromising
• Very high expectations in relationships
• Intelligent

Any others?

Fly shoes
Calls high street clothes ‘pieces’.
White Stuff
Taller than average
Chubbier than average
Above average intelligence

@Premiumtube

Horrendously dressed in frumpy mumsnet name checked brands (fat face, seasalt, joules) with ugly shoes Has a very high opinion of herself

Lol. The only person at a hen do in a small town nightclub wearing a Seasalt maxi dress (with matching mask as covid hasn't gone anywhere!), sandal with a small wedge, and a Boden cardigan (it gets chilly in March!) after taking MN advice. Feeling 'sad' for all the young women hiding their youthful glow with make up (so AGING!) and 'staggering' in their heels (so DATED!)

Weaned their Baby on pesto covered pasta. Realised baby couldn't stand it but persevered to keep in with the NCT mums. Gave up and now feeding Baby any old Aldi mush straight from the jar while neurotically knocking back a sloshy glass of wine with the other hand.

'Let's her DH have a lie in on a Sunday until 8-30am...'
🤣

Then proclaims he's a lazy man child and does nothing.

@5128gap this is devastating, I love it.

Two children under 18
Thinks a size 14 is fat
Has a cleaner
Doesn't shop at asda
Lives in the south
Calls areas of London 'zones'
Loves Hush, Toast
Will definitely get an inheritance from parents

All have at least one degree, higher wage earner, batch cooking but hates frozen food??? Shops in Aldi but puts the shopping in Waitrose bags for life to throw the neighbour's of the scent. Drinks water when out with the girls but knocks back gin out the bottle at home whilst refereeing the 2 dc fight with the dreadful dsc (the dsc mother has no idea how to parent so dsc are pretty much feral)

Doesn't have any friends yet turns her nose up at any suggestion to join the PTA, WI, go to Church, volunteer or any other well documented way to make friends.

And another one .... totally anti Christianity (but would never be so rude about any other faith) .... but at the same time saying it's 'not fair' her DC can't get into the very well respected local faith school. .

I view MN as two halves. First half: up tight, middle class, unrealistic expectations of friends, partners, parents and maybe just a little toxic.

Second half: People in touch with reality, laid back and mainly, an unproblematic person to have in your life.

Early 40s
Children attend either a middle-of-the-road private school, or a teeny tiny village school.
Wears wellies and a gilet for the school pick-up.
Drives a 4x wheel drive type vehicle.
Definitely has a cleaner.
Weekly Ocado deliveries.
Shoulder length hair, dyed, but intended to look as "natural" as possible.

Anywhere from 30+
DH is in a high flying career, and a home office. He is either God or satan. No in between.
She is either also a high flyer, sahm, or part time. Somehow still earns £50k+ pa
Has a nanny.
Has a cleaner
Expects people to drop everything for them (see private tutor can now not make the days we originally agreed to, is she a lying scumbag?
Generally hates DHs family but tolerates them
Would have a fit of the vapours if someone suggested anything but missionary with the lights off.
Slim, anyone over a size 12 is obese.
Shops in Joules, Boden, sea salt and other shops I am far too working class to have heard of
Lives in either a Victorian semi in London, but is extended to the hilt with bi fold doors, and a designed just for them by some London designer breakfast nook
Thinks a £100k+ salary is the norm.
Holidays in Cornwall, or some tiny Menorcan village that no one else will have heard of.

Probably deeply unhappy, usually a bit of a smug twat, know it all, and probably quite a toxic personality.

Bob length blonde hair.

The ones who say things like 'it would be different it's a man were asking' 'the double standards on here are shocking' and 'women can be like that too' are 5 feet 8, live in their mothers spare room, wear nylon shirts and are called Bernard.

@User310

I view MN as two halves. First half: up tight, middle class, unrealistic expectations of friends, partners, parents and maybe just a little toxic.

Second half: People in touch with reality, laid back and mainly, an unproblematic person to have in your life.

I think this is about right

Sensible low maintenance hair cut

‘Natural look’ no-makeup makeup (thinks anymore looks tacky and makes you seem self indulgent, feels sad for people who wear more they must be so insecure in themselves)

Wears skinny jeans even though they’re no longer in fashion

Will drink a thimble full of wine on special occasions, anything more makes you a raging alcoholic

Hates any kind of part or social occasions especially weddings especially god forbid child-free weddings

Has sacrificed themselves entirely for their kids, mummy Martyr. Thinks you should do their washing, fund them, house them for ever more even if they earn about 60k a year and the idea of charging them rent is sacrilege

@5128gap
Love this!

Mid/late 30s
Child is in private school
Regular holidays in a premium cabin on the plane
Has a granite kitchen
Very high standards in a relationship

Oh and has a cleaner

White.
In her 40s.
Lives in the south east of England, although could originally be from anywhere in the UK.
Married to a white man.
Middle class.
Degree educated, as is her husband.
Earns at least £45K, household income £100K plus.
Homeowner.
Drives a newish Volvo/Citroen estate.
Teenage children who pass all their GCSEs, A-Levels and go to uni. They most likely went to a state school, but could have attended private school too.
Would be devastated if her kids went to college to do hairdressing, plumbing etc.
Would never go to Dubai, not too keen on the Caribbean either.
Drinks too much wine in the evening.
Thinks of herself as liberal.
Feminist.
Is horrified if a household has no books.
No TV in the bedrooms. TV in living room less than 40 inches.
Hates the word 'belly'.
Wears Cos, Toast, Coast, Boden, & Other Stories.
Could be size 8 - 16, but no bigger.
Breastfeeding enthusiast.
Was into indie music in the 90s.
Polite in person, but can be scathing online.
Intelligent.

@Confusedandanxiety

White. In her 40s. Lives in the south east of England, although could originally be from anywhere in the UK. Married to a white man. Middle class. Degree educated, as is her husband. Earns at least £45K, household income £100K plus. Homeowner. Drives a newish Volvo/Citroen estate. Teenage children who pass all their GCSEs, A-Levels and go to uni. They most likely went to a state school, but could have attended private school too. Would be devastated if her kids went to college to do hairdressing, plumbing etc. Would never go to Dubai, not too keen on the Caribbean either. Drinks too much wine in the evening. Thinks of herself as liberal. Feminist. Is horrified if a household has no books. No TV in the bedrooms. TV in living room less than 40 inches. Hates the word 'belly'. Wears Cos, Toast, Coast, Boden, & Other Stories. Could be size 8 - 16, but no bigger. Breastfeeding enthusiast. Was into indie music in the 90s. Polite in person, but can be scathing online. Intelligent.

@Confusedandanxiety Ooh do mumsnetters not like the Caribbean? I’ve not noticed that, why is that do you think?

Ooh do mumsnetters not like the Caribbean? I’ve not noticed that, why is that do you think?

They will say it's common and down-market but really it's because they can't afford to go there.

Really?! And the Caribbean is anything but those things!

@orangeisthenewpuce

Two children under 18 Thinks a size 14 is fat Has a cleaner Doesn't shop at asda Lives in the south Calls areas of London 'zones' Loves Hush, Toast Will definitely get an inheritance from parents

Areas are different to zones though. Areas could be neighbourhoods or boroughs (eg Hackney, Fulham, Islington) but zones are set by TFL and are an indicator of how far from the centre you are, in any direction.

• Lives ‘very rurally’
• Would describe her and her husband as ‘comfortable’. Where comfortable means owning at least one additional property that is rented out, and have an ‘investment portfolio’
• Her two primary-aged children have blond hair and attend a local private school. On mumsnet she refers to the school as an ‘Indie’ in an attempt to make it sound friendly and welcoming (rather an elitist institution which is entrenching inequality)
• Is militant about the amount of sugar her kids eat, but less so about the amount of sugar in her glasses of wine.

I think the Caribbean would be acceptable if it’s an air BnB with its own pool rather than a hotel resort (personally I love a resort) and definitely not a Caribbean cruise.

Embittered, Volvo driving, perimenopause , left wing keyboard warrior with an overriding prejudiced against men. Three kids and a cleaner but doesn't speak to her mother because she voted for Brexit.