NC for this.
Was to move in with partner last month into his flat. We both rent.
As soon as I handed in notice he started being awkward, silent treatments, lack of restect, twisting things, saying I'm over reacting and so on.
I have changed my mind, put a halt on the move and kept my rented flat. (Was in abusive relationship before and I'm not going to go back there!)
He apologised, said he loves me and would like us to try and overcome problems, every relationship has problems and it is normal to not feel happy sometimes.
He wanted me to be at his flat with him despite the fact I have decided to keep my flat too. He wanted me to get rid of the other flat because he says I'm too attached to it, it isn't healthy and because of that we can't progress and move on. I still want to keep my flat until I know if this relationship is going to work, still have majority of furniture there but essentially live with him, because he insisted on it.
Today he is asking me for a rent payment, ie he wants me to pay half of his all bills including rent. Because I still have the other flat I simply can't afford to pay for both flats and would need to dip in savings every month to pay him rent. I'm happy to pay my own way so he isn't out of pocket ie half of utilities and food. When being here I already spent much more money on food for us 3 (me, him and his DD who is here 50% of time) than I would normally do.
We spoke last week and he mentioned rent and I've said if he wants me to pay him rent (we never had this conversation before so I actually was baffled), I can't afford it and I have no choice but move back to my flat. I was happy to do it but he didn't like it and still wanted me to stay where I am. As soon as I mentioned that I can move my stuff back over to my flat he started saying how unreliable I am and he can't trust me.
I wanted to give us a chance and keep the arrangement from before we agreed to live together - I was at his more because I work from home and he lives close to his work and DD. I would be happy for us to live in my flat but he doesn't like it because it is too far. He is not out of pocket at all and earns good money. But he says that because I've agreed to living together, and we essentially do, he expects me to pay half of all bills.
Of course I would pay half if I was happy to move in together, but I'm not, I need more time. I would like to wait a few months to see how things are between us but he doesn't like it.
Am I being unreasonable?
I want to be fair but maybe I'm seeing it from wrong perspective?