Baby travel HUGE argument

[blinkywinkytime]

Posted in wrong topic

Just looking to get other new parents opinions on an ongoing issue!

A 7 month old daughter being taken on a journey to join grandmother in a restaurant for her 60th birthday. Baby would be in the car for 6.5 hours in one day. No option to stay due to having my foster child over the next day so need to be back for that.

My gut feeling is it's too much travelling for her and she screams in car set when awake. Would sleep probably half of each leg of journey. Husband agrees with me.

Other option to meet half way grandmother refusing as it's her special birthday

AIBU ?

We drove 9 hours to Cornwall when DS was that age!
Just factor in some breaks or go the day before 🤷🏼‍♀️

We did this about the same age to visit in laws but we stayed over the night. I'm guessing your journey time includes there and back so 3ish hours each way?

I personally wouldn't if it needs to be done in the same day. If you could stay over then yes but obviously not an option here.

If grandmother is so desperate for you to be there she'd meet half way.

You're the parents. You decide what is too much for your child.

Tough shit! She can’t refuse! “Sorry it’s just too much travelling for the baby, we’ll have to visit another time”

That sounds a lot of time in the car, and a restaurant isn't a great venue for a 7 month old who's been cooped up for hours.

Is that just there or there and back? If there and back it’s absolutely fine, youl take a couple of breaks on each leg anyway and can entertain her.

Could you stay the night before instead? Could travel at bedtime so she’s more likely to sleep

Can you not go the night before so you only have to do the journey on the way home?

If its not feasible for you, and the compromise isn't acceptable for the other party then you'll just have to decline going and arrange something at another point.

It doesn't really matter if someone else drove for 18 hours with 11 kids in a mini or whatever, you know your circumstances, you know your baby and that's that.

Whoever's grandmother it is, that person goes. The other stays behind with the baby.

Usually I'd say it will probably be fine with breaks, but I had a screamer in the carseat kid and no way would i put myself through it if I didn't have to

Train. You can get very reasonable tickets by booking in advance and at least you can walk up and down the train every so often. A table is good for snacks and toys. Just don't book the quiet carriage by mistake.

Fuck no. My 7 month old HATES the car seat and would scream for the whole journey. Also I don't think it's good for them to be sat like that for so long - you would have to stop a lot for feeds, nappy changes etc. I would only do it if it was a real emergency. To be honest, I wouldn't want to take my 3 year old or 6 year old on such a long journey either, unless it was strictly necessary.

Is leaving baby with their other parent an option?

AIBU about what?

Do you want to go or not want to go?

I think if you were driving then baby could get out, stretch and have lots of floor time, then come home, it’s not ideal but as a one off with lots of breaks could do it.

But it’s a long drive then sat in a restaurant then a long drive. Would be a no from me. If you could go the day before and stay over and travel home after the meal that would be better

I wouldn't have done that much travel with a baby without staying over. Find your backbone and say you can't make it. You and your DH agree on this and it's your child.

Far too much travel in one day. Just decline!

YABVU to expect her to meet you half way 😂 it’s the woman’s 60th birthday fgs!!
I don’t think that amount of travel is a huge deal 🤷🏼‍♀️ you clearly do, so say no.

I wouldn't particularly want to drive 6.5 hours in one day just by myself, let alone with a baby whose too young to really entertain properly, and then sit in a restaurant with them! If it was an overnight stay then fine, but I think it's too much to be enjoyable for anyone in one day. Fine if you're going on holiday and it's a necessary evil, although even then I would probably break it up or go overnight when baby was sleeping. My parents live 3.5 hours away and we would never just do a day trip.

DD was very chilled in the car at that age, but I think 6.5 hours in one day and then having to sit in a restaurant for a couple of hours might have been her limit!

Just over 3 hours each way. Stop halfway for a nappy change and feed if needed.

Thanks all, that's what we were thinking. She's our child and we know how she reacts in certain situations.

Sorry should have said can't stay night before due to husbands work commitments until 9pm!

It's 3 hours no breaks each way. Busy routes around London so probably a lot more.

My argument is it doesn't matter what the situation if we make a decision that should be respected.

If she was older and more able to be entertained in the car I would have no issue.

I would just go myself and leave baby with your DP if that's an option. Not all babies are the same but mine would have made the journey hell (probably) and ruined the meal for me (almost definitely).

Probably in the minority but this is just not a trip I would make. I qm really against long xar trips for small babies.

"It's too far. Such a shame! maybe another time"
Whoevers grandmother it is goes alone. Other parent stays with baby.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

AIBU about what?

Do you want to go or not want to go?

It says in the OP she doesn’t want to go as she thinks it’s too much, so her AIBU is presumably is she BU to not go.

Other option to meet half way grandmother refusing as it's her special birthday

That’s really unfair to ask her to meet halfway

Sorry to drip feed! Actual birthday was weeks ago!

Yes option is husband goes I stay here with her but she wants to see her.