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Original poster

To think I’m not a fucking kid?!

208 replies

WildEwe56789 · 30/03/2022 11:36

So my dads sister who is my auntie constantly refers to me as a kid or a child.

For context I’m 25 years old, I have a high flying job where I travel the world for it, I have my own house with a mortgage, I own my own car outright and I also have a dog. According to my auntie she still considers me a child/kid because I don’t have a boyfriend and or children which is something I do not want.

It really really frustrates me when she says it, she also constantly says I have no life experience or any grasp on how the world works Confused I have no idea where she’s got that opinion from because some of the countries I’ve travelled to for work are very eye opening…

She is a very bitter woman and she even admits that herself but I sat to her that doesn’t mean she can take it out on me. I no longer speak to her but she always ask my dad about me.

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 31/03/2022 20:29

Um... just out of curiosity, if you don't have or want kids, why are you on mumsnet? Not saying you shouldn't be allowed on here or anything like that, I'm genuinely curious about why you'd join a forum like this one?

I don’t think the OP is coming back but I can offer a little bit of insight I think.

I have dd now but was on MN for years before she came about. I came across this forum, dived in and stayed because it’s got good traffic unlike some forums where threads are eked out over days with only a few posts a day and I haven’t really come across another forum that’s relatively happy to host most conversations and has predominantly female users. On the whole it’s more of a woman’s site than a mums site in my head.

Of course there’s the odd man knocking around (some with good intentions, some not so much) but I’ve not come across another space on the internet quite like it.

hangrylady · 31/03/2022 20:38

My mum refers to my brother and I as 'the children', we are 38 and 42! Doesn't bother me at all.

hungrymutha · 31/03/2022 20:40

My mum is still my Granny's kid. Shes nearly 70

tearinghairout · 31/03/2022 20:48

When I turned 50 I wondered if my mother would finally start treating me like an adult. Nope. I think she was envious (and there was also other stuff going on). It's a way of belittling you, OP. It says so much more about her than about you. You know what they say - living well is the best revenge! When she makes comments about your lack of boyfriend/kids, ask her why you'd want some idiot telling you what to do/some kid to clear up after. Or just smile and say you're happy as you are, thanks.

cheryllnips224 · 31/03/2022 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Neongoddess · 31/03/2022 20:49

I am 40. I dont have grandparents anymore. But mum always called me and dbro 'the kids' right up until she died. Dad still does.

Our kids are 'the grandkids'.

Honestly, I think in a few years you will look back and this won't bother you and you will think 'wtf was I carrying on about'.

The impression I get is that you are so determined to prove you are 'a grown up', being called a kid is frustrating.

At 25 I had a career had bene married 4 years and had a 3 year old. Even now I look back and laugh at how young I was compared to now. I am sure I will think the same on another 15 years.

itsgettingweird · 31/03/2022 20:55

Me and my cousins still gets called "the children" as a group.

Fwiw my parents, and aunts uncles are all 60/70's now, we are all 20-40's and half of us have kids of our own ages between 2-18!

It's not based on any idea of single life or not having children just a "how many adults, kids and how many are bringing their children" Grin

Pixiedust1234 · 31/03/2022 21:02

@cheryllnips224

You should try sending her a strongly worded email. if doesn’t work get another dog to show capability. if still not work let me know my husband is very handy love cheryll
wtf? Are you the op's mate?
maybloss2 · 31/03/2022 21:18

Hi op, my mum still used to refer to me as her baby daughter when I had 2kids of my own. It really annoyed me. With hindsight I look at myself and realise that I was still a bit immature and lacking in confidence to have let it bother me.
My mum was also a smother mother, so her comments fit with her not wanting to ‘let us kids go’.
It sounds like you are a bit driven for recognition if you care what someone you don’t even like thinks about you. Let it go, your life is far too interesting to waste yr time with her.

Neongoddess · 31/03/2022 21:25

I wonder if op is flying high and unable to come back to thread.

That would be far better than she hasn't come back because she doesn't like the answers.

HairyScaryMonster · 31/03/2022 21:28

My brothers are in their 40s and I've only just stopped calling them "the boys".

TravelDreamLife · 31/03/2022 22:38

My MIL calls us kids. Treats us like them too. Really, really don't care as I'm adult enough to ignore it.

I do think it's a little immature to think a mortgage & job where you travel the world makes you more world wise & adult than others & should automatically command respect - especially when you call her nasty names like 'bitter' as revenge.

So tbh grow up & ignore it. You'll come across worse descriptions of you character as you get older.

Lovely13 · 31/03/2022 22:43

It’s taken me to my very advanced age to stop my family making me feel just inferior. I now own my own space with them. It’s made me feel mikes better, even if it’s not made interaction with them any clearer! Stand your ground!

Same360 · 31/03/2022 23:31

You seem very keen to point out how great your life is and how well you’re doing - if that’s the case then why are the words of one individual bothering you so much? ‘The lion does not concern itself with the opinions of the sheep’ and all that

myfaceismyown · 31/03/2022 23:36

I don't know if anyone else has said this as just hopped on this thread. (apologies) Your aunt sounds lonely. She has not much to chat about, or other interests, than the younger generation. It may be that it is not intended to be hurtful. My thoughts are if you do meet her socially to ask what she has been doing, reading or watching on TV then to ask her if she would like to hear about your life. I grew a strong relationship with my DGM this way. Despite shockingly not marrying until 30. Believe me, nothing I did before then ticked her boxes. She even sent me clipping of short hairstyles when I was Uni as my hair was too long. I got a housekeeping book a few years later - her reports to my DD was that I was a career woman, and therefore a lost cause! If you take interest in her she may change and see you as a fully fledged human being.

HELLITHURT · 31/03/2022 23:49

Who looks after your dog when you travel the world for work?

Vynalbob · 01/04/2022 08:41

If it irritates that much I agree with the responder saying to just ignore it.
Just a few possible points,

After discussing in detail what I do (work)
a friend (I'd met when on a construction site) asked what site I worked on 🙄 (I only worked a year in construction)

Another 'friend of family' called me by the wrong name for 40 yrs (until he died), I corrected him a few times but then gave up.

Also, some people travel the world but don't see it.... maybe she either thinks you're one of these or she is and can't imagine otherwise.

The only issue that might have a bit of truth, maybe maybe her life experiences wife/mother/staying put are what she thinks is life experiences...

Or, especially if you live at home, she is jealous at what she thinks is an easy life.

Thisbastardcomputer · 01/04/2022 09:17

My niece is a consultant, during the past couple of years she split with her partner and stayed with her parents for a time.

When I visited, she was often sat at her computer, I'd say are you doing your homework love. She loved it, because of her job most people are deferential and quite crawling towards her. I treat her exactly the same as her two brothers who do quite ordinary jobs.

She says she loves the fact she will always be a teenager to me, when she visits I give her treats

Liverpoolgirl · 01/04/2022 09:27

I have a brother and a few cousins, to our aunts, uncles and nan we are 'the kids' and our children are referred to as 'the babies'.
I find it quite endearing, however her opinions on your view of the world would annoy the life our of me!

Newbabynewhouse · 01/04/2022 10:08

My mum used to say this to me... when i was about your age..she'd say soemthing and I'd have an opinion then she'd say "oh luv you're too young you just dont understand" it was so annoying... id also get asked why i was doing things like going out with a friend at 8pm for a mcflurry Grin I'd get " who goes out this time, everyone else is sitting in now settling for the night" well not me! I want a mcflurry! Whats the issue

Newbabynewhouse · 01/04/2022 10:09

That was a bad example🤣

zingally · 01/04/2022 10:32

My sister and I are referred to as "the girls" by our parents generation.

Christmas cards come to my mum that say inside, "to Claire and the girls."

I'm 37 and my sister is 40!

RhymesWithBouquet · 01/04/2022 11:20

@Cornettoninja

Um... just out of curiosity, if you don't have or want kids, why are you on mumsnet? Not saying you shouldn't be allowed on here or anything like that, I'm genuinely curious about why you'd join a forum like this one?

I don’t think the OP is coming back but I can offer a little bit of insight I think.

I have dd now but was on MN for years before she came about. I came across this forum, dived in and stayed because it’s got good traffic unlike some forums where threads are eked out over days with only a few posts a day and I haven’t really come across another forum that’s relatively happy to host most conversations and has predominantly female users. On the whole it’s more of a woman’s site than a mums site in my head.

Of course there’s the odd man knocking around (some with good intentions, some not so much) but I’ve not come across another space on the internet quite like it.

Gotcha! Thanks for taking the time to answer my nosy question on the OPs behalf, hope I didn't offend anyone by asking in the first place!
Cornettoninja · 01/04/2022 11:51

Pleasure @RhymesWithBouquet Smile

I have seen similar questioning in threads touch a nerve and descend into squabbling so I don’t mind (hopefully) offering a fairly level answer to people genuinely wondering what the attraction is!

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 01/04/2022 11:57

@TulipsGarden

25 is really, really young though. You may have more life experience than other people your age, but it will be a hell of a lot less than someone much older.

Honestly, I knew nothing at 25.

However, You have more CHANCE of having experience when you're double the age...

BUT
I knew at 25 I had oodles more experience than people double my age who had never left their bubble and only mixed with people similar to them