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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I’m not a fucking kid?!

208 replies

WildEwe56789 · 30/03/2022 11:36

So my dads sister who is my auntie constantly refers to me as a kid or a child.

For context I’m 25 years old, I have a high flying job where I travel the world for it, I have my own house with a mortgage, I own my own car outright and I also have a dog. According to my auntie she still considers me a child/kid because I don’t have a boyfriend and or children which is something I do not want.

It really really frustrates me when she says it, she also constantly says I have no life experience or any grasp on how the world works Confused I have no idea where she’s got that opinion from because some of the countries I’ve travelled to for work are very eye opening…

She is a very bitter woman and she even admits that herself but I sat to her that doesn’t mean she can take it out on me. I no longer speak to her but she always ask my dad about me.

OP posts:
SpringsSprung · 30/03/2022 13:57

@beastlyslumber

If you're not a "fucking kid?!" why are you throwing your toys out the pram?
So by your logic, anyone who defends/stands up for themselves is 'throwing their toys out of the pram' Hmm

That doesn't sound Misogynistic at all.......

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 30/03/2022 14:01

You are being unreasonable. Most families do this. My mum still refers to my 61 yo brother as 'the kid'. She tried to guide me when we were crossing the road the other day despite the fact I am also in my 60s and she was using a walking frame!

SucculentChalice · 30/03/2022 14:03

[quote Cisforcamel]@SleepingStandingUp
It's impossible to know how much life experience she has at 25. It isn't something that is nearly acquired each year on the anniversary of your birth. There are plenty of people in their 30s and 40s with no life experience, and plenty in their 20s with more than most

I think it’s generally fair to say that older people have more life experience than younger people. You wouldn’t say a 20 year old refugee had more life experience than an 80 year old, because regardless of the hideousness of the 20 years of life there are still another 60 years of experience to be gained.
The OP clearly has her head screwed on and is doing very well for herself, but the average 20 something in the UK has pretty limited life experience.[/quote]
I wouldn't say that at all. Someone who is 50 but never moved out of the parental home or held down a job (and its not all that rare) will have far less life experience than someone of 25 who holds down a job that requires international travel, professional standards of responsibility, pays rent/mortgage and bills for themselves and so on.

The OP literally stated in her OP that her life experience included considerable international experience, not just the UK.

RussianSpy101 · 30/03/2022 14:03

@ZealAndArdour do you know her aunt?

ZealAndArdour · 30/03/2022 14:04

God OP, it seems that there’s lots of women cut from the same cloth as your Auntie on this thread. Miserable and determined to cut you down. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

MurmuratingStarling · 30/03/2022 14:08

@ZealAndArdour

God OP, it seems that there’s lots of women cut from the same cloth as your Auntie on this thread. Miserable and determined to cut you down. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
This. The OP doesn't deserve to be derided just because she is only^ 25! Shock
ZealAndArdour · 30/03/2022 14:11

@RussianSpy101

No but it’s not a wild assumption to make, if her only measure of female maturity and experience is being saddled to a man and bearing the fruit of the womb.

You can get married and have a baby at 16, doesn’t make you don’t immediately get bestowed with all the knowledge of the universe.

Wedonttalkaboutrats · 30/03/2022 14:12

@SpringsSprung
So by your logic, anyone who defends/stands up for themselves is 'throwing their toys out of the pram'
That doesn't sound Misogynistic at all.......

Not quite sure you’ve grasped the meaning of misogyny there, Spring Grin

ZealAndArdour · 30/03/2022 14:12

*doesn’t mean you immediately…

beastlyslumber · 30/03/2022 14:12

@SpringsSprung Sorry that went totally over your head. Hope the rest of your day goes better.

Youcunnyfunt · 30/03/2022 14:14

Grin My brother is definitely not a baby, but he will always be my baby brother to me.

MurmuratingStarling · 30/03/2022 14:14

Wonder where the OP is?

I never understand why people post a lengthy OP and then bugger off. I know some people 'have a life,' but if I posted a thread, I would hang around for an hour or so after to see the replies and answer them. Why post a thread and then immediately leave the forum? Confused

2catsandhappy · 30/03/2022 14:15

A work boss used to say, "You're a funny little thing" (very nicely said!) due to my enthusiasm for my job. I was easily old enough to be her mum.

MurmuratingStarling · 30/03/2022 14:16

@2catsandhappy

A work boss used to say, "You're a funny little thing" (very nicely said!) due to my enthusiasm for my job. I was easily old enough to be her mum.
Urgh! How condescending. Confused
girlmom21 · 30/03/2022 14:20

@MurmuratingStarling

Wonder where the OP is?

I never understand why people post a lengthy OP and then bugger off. I know some people 'have a life,' but if I posted a thread, I would hang around for an hour or so after to see the replies and answer them. Why post a thread and then immediately leave the forum? Confused

She's on a big girl flight to a grown up destination
Gowithme · 30/03/2022 14:20

I think the issue isn't that she's calling you a kid per se - as if she just meant it as a younger relative it would be fine. I think the issue is that she constantly tries to make out you don't know anything and she knows much more just because she got married and had kids.

In future I'd just get your dad to say 'she's fine' in answer to any of her questions about you.

Topseyt · 30/03/2022 14:21

You need to grow a thicker skin.

Think about it, you don't actually speak to her yourself or spend any time in her presence, so you really have no relationship with her. So ask yourself why her baseless and ill-informed opinion matters so much to you? It shouldn't. The most it is worth is a shrug, an eye-roll and then move on.

No need at all to give it this much headspace (or even any at all).

toomanytwinkies · 30/03/2022 14:23

I think some people are missing the point.

My parents call me and my brother ‘the kids’ in an affectionate joking way but that’s not what OP is talking about.

OP is saying that her Aunt calls her a child because she doesn’t have children or a partner. That’s very different to my example. She constantly makes comments about a lack of life experience as she wrongly associates life experience with ‘s partner and children’ rather than the fact OP has a good career and travels extensively.

Cornettoninja · 30/03/2022 14:23

So by your logic, anyone who defends/stands up for themselves is 'throwing their toys out of the pram'

Not the poster it was aimed at but no, the OP is not defending themselves since they no longer have interactions with the person they perceive as needing defence from.

Ranting about it after stopping contact is the throwing the toys bit I should think.

stayathomer · 30/03/2022 14:28

So by your logic, anyone who defends/stands up for themselves is 'throwing their toys out of the pram'

That doesn't sound Misogynistic at all.......
You think someone saying somebody's being ott (cursing and acting properly aggressive) is misogynistic?!?!

MurmuratingStarling · 30/03/2022 14:29

@girlmom21

She's on a big girl flight to a grown up destination.

Grin
MurmuratingStarling · 30/03/2022 14:30

@toomanytwinkies

I think some people are missing the point.

My parents call me and my brother ‘the kids’ in an affectionate joking way but that’s not what OP is talking about.

OP is saying that her Aunt calls her a child because she doesn’t have children or a partner. That’s very different to my example. She constantly makes comments about a lack of life experience as she wrongly associates life experience with ‘s partner and children’ rather than the fact OP has a good career and travels extensively.

This. ^
Roselilly36 · 30/03/2022 14:30

My sons are nearly 21 & 19, we still call them “the boys”.

MurmuratingStarling · 30/03/2022 14:36

@Roselilly36

My sons are nearly 21 & 19, we still call them “the boys”.
But do you think they are silly little oiks who don't know jack shit about anything, purely because they are not married and have no children?

(Assuming they're not married with children here!!!)

Coz that is the attitude the OP's aunt has. (As have quite a few women.)

Topseyt · 30/03/2022 14:38

@Roselilly36

My sons are nearly 21 & 19, we still call them “the boys”.
Similar here. My DDs are 26, 23 and 19. We often refer to them as "the girls" too. 🤣