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Original poster

To think I’m not a fucking kid?!

208 replies

WildEwe56789 · 30/03/2022 11:36

So my dads sister who is my auntie constantly refers to me as a kid or a child.

For context I’m 25 years old, I have a high flying job where I travel the world for it, I have my own house with a mortgage, I own my own car outright and I also have a dog. According to my auntie she still considers me a child/kid because I don’t have a boyfriend and or children which is something I do not want.

It really really frustrates me when she says it, she also constantly says I have no life experience or any grasp on how the world works Confused I have no idea where she’s got that opinion from because some of the countries I’ve travelled to for work are very eye opening…

She is a very bitter woman and she even admits that herself but I sat to her that doesn’t mean she can take it out on me. I no longer speak to her but she always ask my dad about me.

OP posts:
BeautifulMemory · 30/03/2022 16:22

Could there be a vicious circle going on? So she thinks you sound a bit stuck up, arrogant and trying to be 'mature', so she brings you down a peg or two by calling you a 'kid', which then makes you try and big yourself up with your high flying job etc.. even more and so the cycle continues?

(to be fair, for some reason you have got under my skin a bit!! You do sound a bit like a big kid throwing a tantrum and wanting to prove how grown up you are)...

Sunnytwobridges · 30/03/2022 16:30

I think the term is fine depending on the situation. In this case it seems condescending.

Cornettoninja · 30/03/2022 17:05

I had thoughts along similar lines @BeautifulMemory, it’s impossible to tell on a forum but I do wonder what these interactions looked like to a witness.

JorisBonson · 30/03/2022 17:09

My brother and I are both in our 30s and always referred to as the weans.

Silverclocks · 30/03/2022 17:11

All generations above you refer to you as "the kids" forever. It only stops when there's no one left Sad

user1471538283 · 30/03/2022 17:30

My generation in the family are the kids and we are all much older; some are grandparents. I refer to my DS as my child.

wherethecrawdadsare · 30/03/2022 21:01

We have Big Matthew and Baby Matthew in our family. Big Matthew is no longer with us and Baby Matthew (his son) is 87.

Mumontour85 · 31/03/2022 17:47

I'm a 36 year old mother of two, and the 'adults' in my family still refer to the 'kids table' and call us the children 🤣 we find it quite endearing, it's nice to be with family and claim zero responsibility for a change! My sis is nearly 40 and mum still calls her her baby!

I wouldn't be too upset tbh, you know you're not a child. You're a fully grown adult with what sounds like a fab life. If you actually enjoy your life then this doesn't seem like something worth getting too bothered by. Just smile and wave kid... smile and wave...

tommyhoundmum · 31/03/2022 17:52

Just ask your father not ot pass on her comments.

Why can't he say something supportive?

Kjpt140v · 31/03/2022 18:15

Get used to it. I'm 63 and my brother is 59, my senior family members still call us the kids. My eldest son is 36, my other two are 32 and 29, and we still call them kids. As a parent your children will always be the kids.

ThistleTits · 31/03/2022 18:16

@WildEwe56789
Pffft that "you have no life experience" would piss me off.
I've known people at 20 years old, who have more "life experience" than 40 years old.
Your experiences will never be the same, as hers, they can't be, they're yours. Even if they were remotely similar, they would be different. Your learning from them and perception of life is totally different from anyone else's.
It is reflection on experiences that makes them "life" not the actual physical happening.

She's an unhappy woman, ignore her.

Iwouldgoouttonight73 · 31/03/2022 18:26

^This!

KezzabellaB · 31/03/2022 18:31

My MIL refers to me and DH as 'kids'. We're in our 50's!! Grin

cherish123 · 31/03/2022 18:33

Frontal cortex doesn't develop fully until you are 25

cherish123 · 31/03/2022 18:34

But no, you're not a kid. My friend is 50 and her mum calls her and her sister- the kids.

BoredZelda · 31/03/2022 18:46

Why do you care so much about what she thinks?

This. As an adult, it should be easy to brush off such comments.

independentfriend · 31/03/2022 18:51

I recommend finding communities/spending time with people who are less mainstream in outlook. Look at LGBTQIA communities, if you haven't already.

Her comments are likely to be less annoying when you're spending more time amongst other people who don't have / want children / boyfriends (or with people who are really not bothered by other people's choices re children / boyfriends).

Families are weird - it's worth considering how much is stuff your aunt is actually saying / stuff that your dad is making up. You can do what others have suggested and ask your dad not to repeat to you what she's saying and see what changes.

Vimto1991 · 31/03/2022 18:54

Not really in the same context but I’m pregnant and my mom said the other day “my baby is having a baby”, some people still see you as a baby/kid if they’ve known you your whole life.
YANBU, though.

Sooziewoozie · 31/03/2022 18:59

I agree with Palavah! also, I think it comes from jealousy. I think you can choose to react to this however you choose. I think a lot of people, myself included, tend to always see the negatives and feel hurt by things people do or say when actually you could look at it from a different perspective I.e. you are accomplished, successful, well -travelled and going places in life. Be proud of your achievements and assume she is just jealous x

law050465 · 31/03/2022 19:05

Just jealous. Seriously traveling is the biggest life experience there is, and having a great job, and paying your own bills. The only thing you need to learn is not to give a s* about what other people think. 😂

Spannwr1971 · 31/03/2022 19:16

Well, I'm 50, and I'm gobsmacked at the competence and capability of some 20 year old I know. Only take criticism from people who you admire. If you aren't secretly a bit envious of their life, or amazed and in admiration at their achievements, why would you care about their opinions? They climb on your shoulders for a better view. Hate comes from below.

OliveLover01 · 31/03/2022 19:21

Why do you care what someone you don’t speak to thinks of you? Let he let consider you anyway she wants.

But genuinely if it’s riles you that much maybe she has a point.

25, mortgage and travelling for work sounds great. But doesn’t actually tell me that you have any life experience…. Maybe wait til you are 45 and then define what you think life experience is. Because I’m not sure it’s school uni mortgage job travel and pets.

Jedsnewstar · 31/03/2022 19:27

In the nicest way your post does show off your age. I don’t think a woman in her 30s+ would not give a fudge what some bat thought. Certain people you can’t change why are you so desperate for her approval?

Bobbi73 · 31/03/2022 19:34

My FIL still makes Christmas stocking for the 'children' and we're all around 50! He makes them for the grandchildren too but we are definitely the kids. I like it.
I'm not sure why you are so angry.

RhymesWithBouquet · 31/03/2022 20:14

Meh, sounds like she's a bit jealous to me. Next time she says it, laugh in her face and say, "Yeah ok Boomer!" She accuses you of being childish anyway, so might as well have a laugh at her expense.

Um... just out of curiosity, if you don't have or want kids, why are you on mumsnet? Not saying you shouldn't be allowed on here or anything like that, I'm genuinely curious about why you'd join a forum like this one?