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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I’m not a fucking kid?!

208 replies

WildEwe56789 · 30/03/2022 11:36

So my dads sister who is my auntie constantly refers to me as a kid or a child.

For context I’m 25 years old, I have a high flying job where I travel the world for it, I have my own house with a mortgage, I own my own car outright and I also have a dog. According to my auntie she still considers me a child/kid because I don’t have a boyfriend and or children which is something I do not want.

It really really frustrates me when she says it, she also constantly says I have no life experience or any grasp on how the world works Confused I have no idea where she’s got that opinion from because some of the countries I’ve travelled to for work are very eye opening…

She is a very bitter woman and she even admits that herself but I sat to her that doesn’t mean she can take it out on me. I no longer speak to her but she always ask my dad about me.

OP posts:
NoToLandfill · 30/03/2022 13:19

She will not treat you as a grown up until you are married.
Ignore her.

Pixiedust1234 · 30/03/2022 13:19

@Folks

dads sister who is my auntie Grin

Thanks for the clarification kiddo.

I thought it was just me who thought that was weird.

Op - go get counselling for that anger as it drips through your post. I can almost feel it. You say your aunt is bitter, well...it sounds like you are going to end up like her. If you don't talk to her anymore then I can't see why you need our advice about it, or post about it.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 30/03/2022 13:25

Why not just reply, I don't think you can put an older persons head on a younger persons shoulders. Because you can't basically.

IncompleteSenten · 30/03/2022 13:25

I'm 48 and my mother still thinks of me as her kid.

whumpthereitis · 30/03/2022 13:26

There’s a difference between between called a kid in a way that is obviously affectionate, and being called a kid in a way that is dismissive.

I’m sure we’ve all encountered people that have discounted us completely on account of a quality (age, sex, disability etc). It is at best patronising, if not straight up offensive and infuriating. Especially if you’re on the receiving end of it from a repeat offender.

EmmaH2022 · 30/03/2022 13:26

It's good that you don't see her.

She sounds horrible. I wonder what she'd say about me - 46, single, no kids.

Anyway, tell your dad to stop talking about what she says, if he persists, say "that's nice, dear" sarcastically.

I have extended family, not in the UK, who probably think all sorts of shit about me. I don't care, I don't speak to them. I am bloody lucky they're not here though.

Jammybadger · 30/03/2022 13:27

You don’t speak to her so how do you know she’s still saying it? Tell your dad not to relay anything she says as it winds you up too much for some reason.

mrsm43s · 30/03/2022 13:27

To be fair you do seem to be having an excessively angry childish reaction to something that someone with more life experience than you would realise is no big deal.

EmmaH2022 · 30/03/2022 13:29

@IncompleteSenten

I'm 48 and my mother still thinks of me as her kid.
So does mine and I'm like a carer in some ways!

It's totally different if you love and respect each other.

If she has friends round, I say "did you play with your friends today?"

It's just a bit of silliness.

Cocomarine · 30/03/2022 13:29

Quite funny that both the title and OP sound quite childish!
So you don’t like her 🤷🏻‍♀️
No need to come to MN to bitch about her, surely?
Just don’t see her - which you aren’t.

Btw - thinking you’re not a child because you have a “high flying job” is quite an immature thing to say to. Are you suggesting the 26yo’s on here who work in - what? “low flying” - jobs are less mature than you?

I think you just need to grow up a bit on this, really.

Drinkingallthewine · 30/03/2022 13:30

My aunt treats DM (77) like she's barely capable of crossing the road by herself - it's impossible for Aunt to register that DM is not only fully grown, but has been for many decades.

whumpthereitis · 30/03/2022 13:31

If you were truly happy with your single child-free mortgage car dog high-flying travel job lifestyle you wouldn’t care at all what anyone says about it.

Does the same apply to ‘if you were truly happy with being a woman you wouldn’t care at all what anyone says about it’?

Because it’s the same principle. You can be very happy and secure in your life and still be annoyed if someone treats you as lesser because of some aspect of it.

Bella3456 · 30/03/2022 13:32

I think she's jealous of your job and life op

SpidersAreShitheads · 30/03/2022 13:32

@thisplaceisweird

I'm sure that travelling the world and having a 'high flying' job at 25 makes you feel very mature and confident. You will understand at 35 that you did indeed know nothing!

Just life, OP.

Try to let it wash over you and concentrate on your very important busy life.

All of this.

I thought I was very mature at 25. And at 30. And 35. And 40. You eventually realise that no thrilling life experiences equate to more than the wisdom that comes with age.

There's a reason that we refer to "wise old women" - and it's because age and experience makes a difference. Your outlook changes as you see more of life; interactions with people over a lifetime shape your views.

But that said, there's nothing wrong with being 25 and all that it brings! Enjoy your life. Enjoy being 25. You don't have to prove to anyone how big and grownup your life is - especially an aunt who you claim not to speak to.

Fluffycloudland77 · 30/03/2022 13:36

I still think of dhs dn as being young, then I realise they have jobs and go to meetings. In my mind their still at school.

EmmaH2022 · 30/03/2022 13:36

"If you were truly happy with your single child-free mortgage car dog high-flying travel job lifestyle you wouldn’t care at all what anyone says about it."

It's very hard to be around someone who criticises your life choices constantly. Even if you're happy, listening to that is just unnecessary and awful. Having to defend your existence, it's not right.

Also at 25, I asked a childfree auntie how long it goes on. She reckoned the type of person who goes on about it doesn't shut up.

I think it's improved though that might be my age.

beastlyslumber · 30/03/2022 13:44

If you're not a "fucking kid?!" why are you throwing your toys out the pram?

RandomBasic · 30/03/2022 13:45

One part of being an adult is learning to stop caring about the opinions of people you do not respect.

If the random dogwalker you sometimes see said 'I think you are immature!' you'd just think 'what a wierdo'.

Same thing.

Hoppinggreen · 30/03/2022 13:46

I think that if were as confident about your achievements as you claim to be you wouldn’t care what 1 person you don’t even like calls you
Or maybe that just comes with age?

KELLOGSspeck · 30/03/2022 13:47

Just tell your dad not relay anything your Aunt says to him about you in future.

MurmuratingStarling · 30/03/2022 13:51

It's true that some people don't see you as a 'grown up' til you get married and have kids. Bloody stupid attitude. But it's how some people think and feel.

It's also possible that she is bitter and jealous. But it could be that she simply doesn't get WHY a woman wouldn't want a ring on her finger by the age of 25. OH THE HORROR! Shock

Booboobibles · 30/03/2022 13:51

Life experience just means all the stressful, rubbish things. It means struggling with young babies and children, abusive relationships, divorce, financial insecurity, insecure housing.

Those experiences have totally changed me, in some ways for the better (I’m more empathetic) but in many ways they’ve made me unhappy and bitter and my physical and mental health have very much suffered.

You don’t need those experiences….you’ve got your career sorted, you have your own property and you don’t want children. You’ve either been lucky or you’ve been perceptive enough to do the things you need to do early in life so that you don’t struggle through middle and old age.

SpringsSprung · 30/03/2022 13:54

Yeah to be fair, I used to work for an airline and all the cabin crew & the airline ground staff were all 18-25. Especially those who were posted abroad. Could it be that because of your job, she sees you as being an adolescent?
"Flying the world" usually tends to be something that is done during or just after university age. (Not always, I know!)
Sometimes the older generations (I said sometimes...) have their stereotypes and live by them. These types just won't budge, even if you became Prime Minister.

ZealAndArdour · 30/03/2022 13:54

Maybe it’s her trying to put your in your place because she feels inadequate about her own relatively small life and inexperience in comparison to the one you lead and all that you have achieved. She’s projecting.

lifelast · 30/03/2022 13:57

@mrsm43s

To be fair you do seem to be having an excessively angry childish reaction to something that someone with more life experience than you would realise is no big deal.
I must admit, I did think that too.