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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Carer charging me even though I didn't employ her

207 replies

NickyNora · 29/03/2022 19:42

My son is Autistic.
We use a Carer on a regular basis.
One of his friends from college had an outing recently.
The other child's parent organised the activity and the Carers.

We all use the same Carers.

The other child invited my son and 2 other boys to the outing.

I thought my son was a guest.
He needs almost no help socially now especially when he's comfortable with the environment and company.

Yesterday, I received an invoice for £160 from one of the Carers.

I checked with the parent of the child whose outing it was, that they have already paid the Carer.
The other parent didn't know I was being billed.

AIBU to say to the Carer, that I won't be paying her as I wasn't aware I was being billed?

OP posts:
Ownedbymycats · 29/03/2022 19:45

I'd imagine there needs to be some sort of requisitioning process in order for you to agree to pay. If he didn't need help I'm puzzled that the other family organised carers.

Gazelda · 29/03/2022 19:46

I think you should say that you understood that she (the carer) was booked by the host family, and that you hadn't anticipated being billed. Its probably just mis-communication.

Original poster
NickyNora · 29/03/2022 19:46

The other family used the Carers as the boys are 17/18 now and the other young person didn't want his mum or dad on the day out.

OP posts:
M0rT · 29/03/2022 19:46

So the Carer is trying to charge twice for the same job?
You are not unreasonable to say you didn't ask her to work those hours and if she wants more then she's already been paid to speak to the person who arranged with her to work.

5zeds · 29/03/2022 19:49

Send a note back saying you didn’t book her time for this event and she probably needs to send it to whoever is paying for her time. Await the push back, but of course she needs to be booked by you if she wants to work for you.

Original poster
NickyNora · 29/03/2022 19:59

I strongly suspect 3 of us are being charged.
I would have been happy to contribute but I feel like she's being greedy.

I like her and if I had the money, I would pay it but I don't. I pay this Carer on average £50 a session so £400 a month. My ds has a Personal Budget which doesn't cover the hours so I pay her myself.

I just thought maybe I was being unreasonable...

OP posts:
WindsweptNotInteresting · 29/03/2022 20:29

Was it just the one carer for the 3 boys? Would they typically have one each? I'm just wondering if she thinks that because she looked after the 3 boys on her own, she would charge for each one individually?

Although you would think the mother of the main boy would have told her what the set up was?

Painiscrap · 29/03/2022 20:31

“I like her and if I had the money, I would pay it”
Why would you pay it? If, as you suspect, she is charging 3 of you, how could you ever support such (in your words) greedy behaviour? If the carers weren’t employed by you to help, I honestly don’t see how they can charge you. If she insists that you have to pay, you may have to take things further and put in a complaint, though I’m not sure who to? Would it be the Health and Social Care Trust or possibly the Care Quality Commission? Your local council will be able to guide you on that.

Meadmaiden · 29/03/2022 20:42

How many carers and what is the usual hourly rate per carer? How many hours was the outing?

It sounds like the first family paid the carer their usual rate, is that correct? So is the carer trying to double their rate by billing two families for the same hours?

Either way, yanbu, as it should have been made clear prior if you were expected to pay, and how much.

Original poster
NickyNora · 29/03/2022 21:22

There were 2 Carers for 3 teenagers. All 3 young people are Autistic, no personal care, more supervision.
I pay the Carer £15 an hour. She worked 10.5 hrs
She's self employed.

OP posts:
raffle · 29/03/2022 21:26

She cannot invoice 3 separate people for the same hours worked. She could split her hours between the 3 of you and invoice you each a third of her total hours worked.

Is she self employed?

Riverlee · 29/03/2022 21:26

You didn’t employ her so shouldn’t pay. The host should have made clear to you prior to the event if there was a charge op involved (whether, food, ticket prices or carers).

raffle · 29/03/2022 21:28

Sorry I see she is SI. Is she registered with CQC? Doubtful but maybe?

You could approach the council which provides your sons personal budget and see what they advise

Riverlee · 29/03/2022 21:29

@Meadmaiden

How many carers and what is the usual hourly rate per carer? How many hours was the outing?

It sounds like the first family paid the carer their usual rate, is that correct? So is the carer trying to double their rate by billing two families for the same hours?

Either way, yanbu, as it should have been made clear prior if you were expected to pay, and how much.

That’s a good point. 2x carers =£300, so £100 per child.
MoiraNotRuby · 29/03/2022 21:33

"Hi x, hope you're well, I seem to have been sent this in error as I didn't book you on this date. See you soon, OP"

Mumdiva99 · 29/03/2022 21:37

@MoiraNotRuby

"Hi x, hope you're well, I seem to have been sent this in error as I didn't book you on this date. See you soon, OP"
This.....

The only person making a booking was the friends parents. I'm sure it's a simple case of misunderstanding.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 29/03/2022 21:38

It’s not clear from your post if the organising parent was invoiced and has paid.

Either way I’d respond saying you didn’t employ her for this outing and refer her back to other parent. I probably wouldn’t employ her services again in a hurry either!

Whatinthelord · 29/03/2022 21:42

This is an issue to pass back to the carer and the host child’s parents to sort out. You didn’t request or organise the care, so why would you pay?

SawnWood · 29/03/2022 21:45

Yoi don’t owe her anything, sounds like she’s billed all 3 people, SNES one of the good responses suggested.

Lougle · 29/03/2022 21:46

This is outrageous if it isn't a mistake. You can't just pay this without getting to the bottom of it.

22Newnames · 29/03/2022 21:49

Wow, that is cheeky!

RandomMess · 29/03/2022 21:51

"I didn't book you to care for my son therefore of course I won't be paying"

AngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngry

5zeds · 29/03/2022 21:56

It sounds like the other parent thought they were organising a group activity and you were all splitting the cost, and you thought your son was a guest? Either way who checked what support was needed? You didn’t agree to pay for the carer you don’t think he needs.

moonbedazzled · 29/03/2022 21:59

Ooo, op. I feel for you that is very hard. Obviously you shouldn't need to pay. You didn't book her and your son didn't require her. If anyone should be paying, it's the family who asked her to go. Her contact is surely with them.

But if she doesn't get paid, do you think that will that cause problems with her working for you in future? With our carers we're always bending over backwards to accommodate and not offend. Good, reliable carers are like gold dust.

How awkward. Good luck.

cansu · 29/03/2022 22:04

If both carers have been paid by the family, of course you shouldn't pay.
I think you just need to say that you didn't book her services and she has perhaps misunderstood the nature of what she was being asked for by the otehr family. Clearly they booked the carers so the boys had some support that was not their parents. It wasn't one to one care x2.

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