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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Carer charging me even though I didn't employ her

207 replies

NickyNora · 29/03/2022 19:42

My son is Autistic.
We use a Carer on a regular basis.
One of his friends from college had an outing recently.
The other child's parent organised the activity and the Carers.

We all use the same Carers.

The other child invited my son and 2 other boys to the outing.

I thought my son was a guest.
He needs almost no help socially now especially when he's comfortable with the environment and company.

Yesterday, I received an invoice for £160 from one of the Carers.

I checked with the parent of the child whose outing it was, that they have already paid the Carer.
The other parent didn't know I was being billed.

AIBU to say to the Carer, that I won't be paying her as I wasn't aware I was being billed?

OP posts:
GlitterNails · 29/03/2022 22:05

Personal assistants/individual carers aren't registered with the CQC to answer someone else.

And the council wouldn't advise or get involved as it's a matter between the employer and PA.

OP - I wouldn't pay this either as someone with a direct payment too.

Thumpkin · 29/03/2022 22:07

You don’t pay. You didn’t personally book her or agree costs to book her. She can’t just invoice you as if you’d arranged all this with her!

Beachbreak2411 · 29/03/2022 22:15

So would you have been happy with your son doing the activity without a carer? You said he needs “almost no help” and if he’s comfortable with the situation.. so even if ok with activity he would’ve needed some help; the one carer shouldn’t have to be responsible for all 3 boys for no extra money! Would you work 3 x as hard for the same money as your usual role?

Viviennemary · 29/03/2022 22:20

The person who needs to sort this out is the person who booked the carer. Surely they are responsible for any payment due.

Lougle · 29/03/2022 22:20

@Beachbreak2411

So would you have been happy with your son doing the activity without a carer? You said he needs “almost no help” and if he’s comfortable with the situation.. so even if ok with activity he would’ve needed some help; the one carer shouldn’t have to be responsible for all 3 boys for no extra money! Would you work 3 x as hard for the same money as your usual role?
But that doesn't mean that the OP should be charged for something she didn't know was happening. If I sent a bill to a friend because I'd invited her child to go to the cinema, but then decided to get lunch out, too, I would be pretty unreasonable.

The OP didn't ask for care for her child. She didn't say it was necessary. It may have been assumed but the host, but if it wasn't agreed, then as far as the OP was concerned, two boys had carers and her child didn't.

PeekabooAtheZoo · 29/03/2022 22:22

This is bizarre. So she was out with another carer working with her client, and your son happened to be there, too? What if your son had happened to bump into her while he was eating out at a restaurant, would she try to bill him for an hour's care because they were in the same building? Bonkers!

MadeForThis · 29/03/2022 22:29

Just refer her back to the person who booked her.

Sswhinesthebest · 29/03/2022 22:30

Seems she’s trying it on.

Ikeptgoing · 29/03/2022 22:50

@MoiraNotRuby

"Hi x, hope you're well, I seem to have been sent this in error as I didn't book you on this date. See you soon, OP"
This is the perfect reply. It's polite, clear and shows just the right amount of confusion about receiving a random invoice.

Just because you know and book this self employed PA for care support at other times for your son, it doesn't mean PA can invoice you for care you know nothing about nor made arrangements for.

From what you've said , the booking parent has paid PAs anyway! It has to be an error - or what is a CF move by the PA who's looking to be paid two or three times for the same hours! Plenty of client couples use PAs for both of them together at same time for events (ie to support two clients) if their needs are low support / supervision and their PA feels able to do so, but they are not paid double hourly wage for the same hours! They would invoice 50% of hourly rate to each client If both clients had booked them if relevant.

5zeds · 30/03/2022 00:21

This is rather like someone asking your child to Alton towers for the day, then finding out they went with two nannies and one of them sending you a request for a days pay. The fact that nanny has babysat for you before is neither here nor there. It sounds outrageously expensive as well.

Grandville · 30/03/2022 09:23

Massively cheeky. YANBU.

Couchbettato · 30/03/2022 10:04

I agree with the poster who said would you be happy doing 3x work for the same pay but I also think the carer needs to take it up with the parent that actually booked.

It seems like somewhere some wires have been crossed, miscommunications or rather misunderstandings have taken place and the OP didn't know or agree to having the carer look after her son.

I think the carer deserves a higher payment but from the other parents that booked her.

Svadhyaya · 30/03/2022 10:40

It could be an honest misunderstanding in that she thinks her fee was being split three ways.
Or she could be trying it on and charging you all the full amount.

I think which one dictates how you should handle it.

22Newnames · 01/04/2022 20:10

Have you cleared it up now? @NickyNora

Blimecory · 01/04/2022 20:20

@MoiraNotRuby

"Hi x, hope you're well, I seem to have been sent this in error as I didn't book you on this date. See you soon, OP"
This doesn’t make any sense. Why would you start off saying “I hope you’re well”? What’s her health got to do with anything.
Original poster
NickyNora · 02/04/2022 01:47

Thankyou for so many replies.

I spoke to the parent who organised the activity. He didn't realise I was being billed.

I spoke to the both Carers.

The other Carer was organised by 1 child's parent as that young person needs alot of support.

In the context of this activity my son didn't need support. Its something we've done before and he enjoys it.

I spoke to the Carer, she seemed to presume, as my son was at the activity, that I was also paying her.

Effectively I'm in the situation where if I don't pay her, I will lose her as a Carer. She's worked with my son for 5 years.

Carers are incredibly difficult to recruit and keep.
She knows we are near the end of our arrangement as my son will move to adult services and unlikely to get much support.

She earned £350 plus £20 petrol for the day.
Give this some context, my sons monthly Personal Budget is only £255.

I wouldn't ever expect her to do more work for the same money. She didn't need to do anything for my son on that day.

I really dislike the whole Personal Budget system. I don't want to be her employer and dealing all that comes with it but there's no other alternative.

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 02/04/2022 01:56

So, the other parent paid her the full amount? I wouldn't pay her, she's already been paid and didn't have to do anything for your son.

If you don't like personal budgets, can your son have an Individual Service Fund instead?

TidyDancer · 02/04/2022 05:14

So she's already been paid by the organising parent? How is she justifying charging you?

Indicatrice · 02/04/2022 05:20

Don’t pay her a penny.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/04/2022 06:08

@Beachbreak2411

So would you have been happy with your son doing the activity without a carer? You said he needs “almost no help” and if he’s comfortable with the situation.. so even if ok with activity he would’ve needed some help; the one carer shouldn’t have to be responsible for all 3 boys for no extra money! Would you work 3 x as hard for the same money as your usual role?
If I was usually caring for one person and then had supervision for 2 people....

It's extra work supervising the extra person, even if they don't actually need it during the time I was overseeing.

If my usual rate was 15 - I'd charge a 50 per cent uplift hourly...

MrsElm · 02/04/2022 06:13

Who actually asked her to be there? What was the agreement between them as to her responsibilities for the day?

SolasAnla · 02/04/2022 06:18

Sorry, but a the carers charging a day rate of £64 an hour (124k pa) or did that include event fees?

Zonder · 02/04/2022 06:33

So she wants to be paid twice for the day? And you feel you have to go along with this because otherwise you will lose her? Exactly how long is left til your son is under adult services? Can you make do without her until then?

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/04/2022 06:36

Effectively I'm in the situation where if I don't pay her, I will lose her as a Carer. She's worked with my son for 5 years.

Did she say that?

RandomMess · 02/04/2022 07:03

Who asked "your" cater to go to the activity?

This is the crux - you didn't ask her to go, your DS didn't ask her to go so why was she even there?