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Original poster

Screaming colleague

225 replies

ChewedSkyRemote · 28/03/2022 09:26

Name changes as outing.

Woman at work randomly screams. It frightens me to death, I have auditory sensory issues and now I sit anxiously awaiting the scream. It’s very random and can be while you’re in the middle of talking to her or just when everyone is quiet working. I have obviously spoken to her about it and she says it’s a disability and can’t help it but won’t say what the disability is. Tomorrow I’m due to go on a visit with her and I can’t face driving with the threat of this sudden screaming. I spoke to the senior on Friday and was told the woman does have a disability and that was that. I also have a hidden disability and part of that is not being able to cope with sudden loud noises!! So where do I stand here?

OP posts:
QuebecBagnet · 28/03/2022 15:52

never said they shouldn't be out in society?! But do I think an office environment is suitable for someone who randomly screams, my answer is no.

And any employer with this opinion would be breaking the equality act.

QuebecBagnet · 28/03/2022 15:54

Its not hilarious, its sad and difficult but would you (or anyone) be allowed to stand in the cockpit and yell in the pilot's ear?

Well nobody is allowed in the cockpit so that’s a ridiculous point. Should people be allowed to scream randomly in the cabin? Yes, and the equality act backs that up. You can’t bar people due to disability

Tourettes123 · 28/03/2022 15:58

@godmum56

That’s a completely different situation, and frankly I’m quite baffled as to why you would bring that up.

And anyhow, I’ve ticced various things very loudly both while driving and being driven and never had any issues as people expect it with me. So it’s not an issue. At first it was a bit oh shit oops but after the first 3 or 4 times no one bats an eyelid. That isn’t to say it wouldn’t affect some people but on the most part it’s fine, I can’t help it, it’s not my fault, so allowances have to be made.

Lillith111 · 28/03/2022 16:02

Hi I wanted to comment as someone who has a vocal screaming tic and Tourette’s. It’s mortifying, makes us self conscious and the last thing I would want is to cause a colleague distress as this is painful for us to. I completely understand what it’s like to not have control. You both have disabilities and your company needs to accommodate both. I think you have to be clear this is a disability and not just you finding her irritating. Xx

TheUsualShitshow · 28/03/2022 16:04

@godmum56 what a completely daft comparison Confused

Lillith111 · 28/03/2022 16:09

And god this thread is ableist. @EndaDay Right to scream? It’s not a choice for me! It’s like right to breathe. What would you have me do? Never leave the house, never go to cafes, quit uni? You say you couldn’t have me as a colleague? Why are your nerves more important than my disability? I have the right to work with my disability and the law recognises that right is more important than your nerves I’m afraid. We’re people and we have the right to live our lives

Theunamedcat · 28/03/2022 16:10

[quote TheUsualShitshow]@godmum56 what a completely daft comparison Confused[/quote]
Isn't the op driving?

Theunamedcat · 28/03/2022 16:11

Yes she is driving so I can see why the comparison is valid the OP could literally crash the car killing them both its an unsuitable situation they should be paired with different people

Lillith111 · 28/03/2022 16:12

And you should also look at my post above @godmum56. Think about how I got a screaming tic when I was 10 and I’ve had to cope my whole life. Knew some people were ableist but seriously I think you’ll cope with sitting next to me on a plane for 5 hours of your life

QuebecBagnet · 28/03/2022 16:17

@Theunamedcat

Yes she is driving so I can see why the comparison is valid the OP could literally crash the car killing them both its an unsuitable situation they should be paired with different people
Oh I thought that poster was responding to the poster saying should she never be allowed on a plane by basically saying no she shouldn’t be. If that wasn’t what was meant I apologise.

I did say in my first post that the OP should not have to drive her colleague if she feels she can’t cope with her. So obviously I do agree nobody should be distracting people who might struggle with such a thing happening. Some people would be ok with it while driving, others not so much.

But there’s that adjustment which is fair, and then a whole world away there are people on this thread saying she shouldn’t be allowed to work in an office! 🤷‍♀️

Theunamedcat · 28/03/2022 16:22

People always say things like they "shouldn't be allowed in public" I've been told I shouldn't be allowed to drive because I can't pedal a bike and coordinate my arms as I'm ambidextrous they don't get it your hands can perform different functions in a car which plays into my ambidextrous nature bikes don't

Mangogogogo · 28/03/2022 16:22

Some of these replies are fucking absolute proof that ableism is fine, as long as it’s Tourette’s Syndrome. Something people with Tourette’s syndrome have to constant deal with on top of actually having Tourette’s syndrome!
I could cry.

Theunamedcat · 28/03/2022 16:25

It's not disability top trumps though if you genuinely have a disability that is made worse by a colleagues disability why in creation would you force them together? Because what? They are both disabled? Unless your company is only two people there is zero reasons why it cannot be arranged to suit both

The company is out of line with this one

Clymene · 28/03/2022 16:43

This isn't disability top trumps. Or it shouldn't be. I have every sympathy with the OP and with her colleague with TS. I have a friend whose daughter has TS and I know how difficult life can be for her.

I also have an autistic child and I know how difficult he would find it sharing a space wirh someone who randomly screamed. But he can wear noise cancelling headphones in an office. He couldn't in a car though.

He can be really difficult to be in a car with because he shouts out when he's watching videos which can be scary. So yes, I could totally understand why someone wouldn't want to take him in a car.

TheUsualShitshow · 28/03/2022 16:48

@Theunamedcat

It's not disability top trumps though if you genuinely have a disability that is made worse by a colleagues disability why in creation would you force them together? Because what? They are both disabled? Unless your company is only two people there is zero reasons why it cannot be arranged to suit both

The company is out of line with this one

But it doesn't seem like the OP has informed her employer of her hidden disability so there's no twin sets of needs to manage at this point.
TheUsualShitshow · 28/03/2022 16:48

@Mangogogogo ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Theunamedcat · 28/03/2022 17:12

@ChewedSkyRemote

Name changes as outing.

Woman at work randomly screams. It frightens me to death, I have auditory sensory issues and now I sit anxiously awaiting the scream. It’s very random and can be while you’re in the middle of talking to her or just when everyone is quiet working. I have obviously spoken to her about it and she says it’s a disability and can’t help it but won’t say what the disability is. Tomorrow I’m due to go on a visit with her and I can’t face driving with the threat of this sudden screaming. I spoke to the senior on Friday and was told the woman does have a disability and that was that. I also have a hidden disability and part of that is not being able to cope with sudden loud noises!! So where do I stand here?

Do they know about your disability?
TheUsualShitshow · 28/03/2022 17:35

Also OP she doesn't have to say what her disability is.

LegMeChicken · 28/03/2022 17:37

I've been waiting ages for a thread like this to pop up, now that everyone seems to have some sort of disability or another!
This is my house daily, with ADD me vs autistic DP.
You're perfectly entitled to not get in the car with her.

LegMeChicken · 28/03/2022 17:48

@godmum56 there's a very very big gray area in terms of what's 'reasonable', and what's not. And there's often no clear answer.
A blanket 'no working in the office' is stupid, but you can't pretend that someone randomly screaming is acceptable in a built-up environment. Yes, people with Tourette's can't control it. But as PP mentioned it's a visceral sounds, we're hardwired to have a visceral reaction. Non-disabled people are not magical superhumans who can put up with every single thing without turning a hair. Some people get used to it, some people can't, but the burden shouldn't be on them. It's on the COMPANY to provide a soundproof work area, or something similar. Now if people are working in a very small office where there's no space, in a kitchen, small shop.. is this realistic?

Again with driving SOME people can bear it, some people can't. Someone screaming in my car would certainly have dire consequences. You can talk about disability etc, but do people really want to risk all of our lives?

Again the point of reasonable accomodation is to find a solution. In this case there are so many. Public transport, get a car with a driver who doesn't mind, etc etc. The fact that the COMPANY doesn't want to explore this, but put the burden on someone else and play the discrimination card is a dangerous attitude and could very well end up with someone seriously injured, or dead!

godmum56 · 28/03/2022 17:53

[quote LegMeChicken]@godmum56 there's a very very big gray area in terms of what's 'reasonable', and what's not. And there's often no clear answer.
A blanket 'no working in the office' is stupid, but you can't pretend that someone randomly screaming is acceptable in a built-up environment. Yes, people with Tourette's can't control it. But as PP mentioned it's a visceral sounds, we're hardwired to have a visceral reaction. Non-disabled people are not magical superhumans who can put up with every single thing without turning a hair. Some people get used to it, some people can't, but the burden shouldn't be on them. It's on the COMPANY to provide a soundproof work area, or something similar. Now if people are working in a very small office where there's no space, in a kitchen, small shop.. is this realistic?

Again with driving SOME people can bear it, some people can't. Someone screaming in my car would certainly have dire consequences. You can talk about disability etc, but do people really want to risk all of our lives?

Again the point of reasonable accomodation is to find a solution. In this case there are so many. Public transport, get a car with a driver who doesn't mind, etc etc. The fact that the COMPANY doesn't want to explore this, but put the burden on someone else and play the discrimination card is a dangerous attitude and could very well end up with someone seriously injured, or dead![/quote]
yes this totally and absolutely.

TheUsualShitshow · 28/03/2022 17:56

'Do people really want to risk ALL of our lives'??

Is this woman going to cause so much chaos she kills us all? Or are you being a wee bit dramatic?

LegMeChicken · 28/03/2022 18:17

@TheUsualShitshow

'Do people really want to risk ALL of our lives'??

Is this woman going to cause so much chaos she kills us all? Or are you being a wee bit dramatic?

Not dramatic at all, unfortunately, Driver distraction is one of the top causes of deadly accidents. It only takes 3 seconds for a car to appear, be missed and cause a collision.

Again, focus on reasonable. It's unreasonable to ban anybody with any kind of disability on planes. Even if you have sensory issues you can't stop anybody else from getting on, so you put your noise cancelling headphones or whatever on. Getting uncomfortable, going into meltdown or whatever is shit, but nothing bad's going to happen.

When you're in control of a huge body of metal, moving at 60 miles per hour? Many bad things can happen.

LegMeChicken · 28/03/2022 18:20

Also @TheUsualShitshow if you read my post properly distraction by a loud noise refers to me. Which is the same for the OP. We know what effect it would have on us.

However there are other people who wouldn't be bothered, Like Tourette123's mates. So why not get them to drive? At the very least do a trial drive, or somewhere quiet.

Just saying 'drive, or else discrimination' is the attitude I'm objecting to.

TheUsualShitshow · 28/03/2022 18:31

Yeah...I've never once said the OP should get in the car with her. It's the third time I've had to say this.