Screaming colleague

[ChewedSkyRemote]

Name changes as outing.

Woman at work randomly screams. It frightens me to death, I have auditory sensory issues and now I sit anxiously awaiting the scream. It’s very random and can be while you’re in the middle of talking to her or just when everyone is quiet working. I have obviously spoken to her about it and she says it’s a disability and can’t help it but won’t say what the disability is. Tomorrow I’m due to go on a visit with her and I can’t face driving with the threat of this sudden screaming. I spoke to the senior on Friday and was told the woman does have a disability and that was that. I also have a hidden disability and part of that is not being able to cope with sudden loud noises!! So where do I stand here?

Why does she have to travel with you? I would tell her to make her own way there.

Are work aware of your disability? If so they need to make accomodations!

In our org an occupational health referral should be made for advice about what reasonable adjustments could be made to help. Some of this depends on your type of work / business, e.g. is there space in the office for you to sit somewhere else, are there other colleagues without sensory issues who could go on jobs with her instead of you, or is it a tiny office with just the two of you who do your particular job? Whatever the set up you can't be forced to drive your colleague if you honestly and reasonably believe it would make you unsafe (s44 Health & Safety at Work Act). If you are in a union speak to your steward and/or safety rep.

Where unsafe = 'serious and imminent danger' - I'd certainly argue potential of crashing your care is serious for both of you!

Must say I certainly wouldn’t want to be driving with anyone liable to scream for no apparent reason - especially in heavy traffic. Sounds decidedly hazardous to me.

I’d tell them that alternative arrangements would be necessary for such a person.

I agree with emphasising the health and safety aspect. I would email and remind your employers of their obligations to ensure employee safety, and that you've assessed that you driving both of you would be a risk to both of you.

You need to make it clearer about your disability, and the fact that due to that she can’t come in the car with you

So she either makes her own way there, or she doesn’t go, or you don’t go

It’s not about discrimination, there is a work around, make your way there separately

Just drive separately - I can't imagine your contract states that you need to drive another person? or travel on public transport. Can't really see what Mumsnet can do to help you.

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

Is the trip to the Sistine Chapel (sorry couldn't resist being flippant)?

😂

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

So, they know about your disability, you've asked for reasonable adjustments and they've refused and told you that you must ride in a car with her and continue to sit near her?

They cannot punish her for having tourette's. They cannot punish your for having an auditory issue. They need to look after you both. Right now, they are only considering her so they are breaking employment law.

You've told them you have a disability and are protected by the equality act. They've refused to make any changes to help you. So call your union or a solicitor or HR. They cant move her or do anything to single her out but they can move you at your request and pay for separate travel.

Yes, this. You both have disabilities: fine. But legally, they can't accommodate one and not the other. Give HR a chance to sort it. A decent HR dept will know they're heading for trouble here and sort it out. If not: solicitor.

Firstly, travel in separate cars. There’s no way you should be expected to drive with someone who may scream at any time. This is ludicrous.

I would be speaking to my line manager and HR about being seated away from this person too.

If you both must go and neither can be substituted then you should travel separately. You are owed a duty of care the same as she is. Its no one's fault just the 2 disabilities make it incompatible

Yep you definitely need to tell them you require reasonable adjustments which include not sitting with off driving around the Sistine chapel woman. They can’t say her needs trump yours and you may need to point this out.

@ChewedSkyRemote
A sudden scream 😱 out of the blue could be very dangerous if driving-
A scream 😱 is a last resort alarm sound that we respond to on a visceral level.
I’d find it intolerable as well, waiting for the next eruption, Which if she is in a vehicle with you will be very loud.

This is ridiculous. Even the calmest of people would react badly to someone screaming randomly in a car. It's bloody dangerous. I'd refuse to drive her.

I think there are 2 separate issues here.

1. Noone one - with audio sensitivity or not - should be expected to drive someone who randomly and uncontrollably screams in a car as a passenger. That is just not safe. Her partner/parents might be happy to do it as they are used to it but it is not appropriate to put that on a colleague. So I would refuse to drive that individual to this or any other visit. She can find her own way there - that is the reasonable adjustment for her disability - that they cover 2 sets of travel costs. It is not about discrimination it is basic safety.

1. Screaming in the office is a more difficult one due to disability. Her request for reasonable adjustment is that the screaming is tolerated. However it is only a reasonable adjustment if it is not causing undue harm to others. I might suggest that an alternative reasonable adjustment is for her to have her own office, or a space which is more sound proofed - in a corner with some display boards / book cases as a shield perhaps?

1. You also have a disability which assuming you have declared it they also need to make adjustments for. So you could wear headphones, you too could be given your own office or put in a more protected space.

Your employer is required by law to make reasonable adjustments for both of you and in doing so not cause harm to the rest of the staff. This is a balance not one person's right overriding others.

Refuse to drive with her OP on the grounds of safety and then mop the floor with them for discriminating against your disability.

Can’t say if you are being unreasonable or not because you haven’t said if they know about your disability or if HR have been involved and made risk assessments.

Sensory issues or not, if you were part of my team I would not expect you to travel in a car with someone prone to screaming. This is a safety risk. I’d also accommodate any requests to move desks. Her disability does not trump her colleagues’ rights.

Absolutely refuse to drive her anywhere. Surely they can see that it's a health and safety risk and they would be liable if you had an accident because she screamed, especially if you'd warned them about this previously.

Obviously she shouldn't be penalised for a disability but there are limits to what reasonable adjustments can be made. Damaging your own mental health by exacerabting your anxiety issues, and endangering your own health and safety by insisting on you driving someone who is likely to be a distraction which could cause a crash, these are not reasonable adjustments. If she cannot drive herself then your employers will have to pay for her to travel by whatever combination of taxi/train etc will work to get her there. You cannot be responsible for driving her there. Asside from the driving issue, your own needs and hers are incompatible with one another so you cannot be reasonably expected to share a workspace. However as PP have pointed out this does rely on your having fully disclosed your own disability status.

I've got really hyper sensitive hearing (which is really miserable at times) and this would completely unhinge me.

Her needs don't take priority over yours - both need due consideration and care here.

Do not drive with her. It is a Health and Safety issue. Say you want a formal risk assessment to be carried out. At least that will stall it for now hopefully.

Can you drive separately?

Please don’t tell me you’re also expected to drive her around?

Do you have an occupational health team?

Firstly, I would refuse to drive in a car with her. As others have said this is a health and safety issue.

Secondly, I totally empathise, I could not work like this either. I suffer from misophonia and worked in an office with someone who coughed and sniffed all day. I lasted about 3 days before I was moved to another office. I was so strung up and anxious I could barely work. I think you need to speak HR etc about how badly it affects you.