Screaming colleague

[ChewedSkyRemote]

Name changes as outing.

Woman at work randomly screams. It frightens me to death, I have auditory sensory issues and now I sit anxiously awaiting the scream. It’s very random and can be while you’re in the middle of talking to her or just when everyone is quiet working. I have obviously spoken to her about it and she says it’s a disability and can’t help it but won’t say what the disability is. Tomorrow I’m due to go on a visit with her and I can’t face driving with the threat of this sudden screaming. I spoke to the senior on Friday and was told the woman does have a disability and that was that. I also have a hidden disability and part of that is not being able to cope with sudden loud noises!! So where do I stand here?

When you say you have a hidden disability do you mean you have a specific medically diagnosed condition that means you’re being discriminated against because your company aren’t accommodating your needs, or are you just a bit jumpy with loud unexpected noises?

I hope she doesn't have a driving licence!

Why? People with Tourette's can drive.

What kind of scream is it, full on scream, or bit of an involuntary screech ?

l round it would surely be better if some kind of home working arrangement for the colleague could be put in place. Just because someone has got a disability doesn't mean everyone else should be miserable and suffer.

Wow that’s fairly disabilist. Shut the disabled person away out of sight. What if their work needs to be done face to face? Even if it isn’t then not being physically present when everyone else is could impact on their promotion chances, never mind their mental health!

Yes it is jarring but most people can cope with it. When I’ve been next to my friend and he’s screamed sometimes it makes me jump. But then we laugh and move on. You do kind of get used to it. And anyone who’s struggling with it more like the OP can sit further away.

@SeasonFinale

As the OP has disappeared my guess is that she has perhaps not declared her disability.

Well another possibility is that she is at work and is currently too busy to mumsnet

Are you actually serious @icelolly12 ??

People with TS shouldn't be out in society, better to shut them away where nobody has to hear them.

Some of these posts are despicable.

Why are people asking 'What sort of work does she do?' That's got bugger-all to do with the OP's desire not to work closely with her.

The question isn't about the woman's ability to do her job, or what situations trigger her screaming tic or how she manages to function with a debilitating condition. The question is whether the disabled OP's requested adjustments are reasonable, not whether her disabled colleague is capable of doing her job.

@QuebecBagnet

l round it would surely be better if some kind of home working arrangement for the colleague could be put in place. Just because someone has got a disability doesn't mean everyone else should be miserable and suffer.

Wow that’s fairly disabilist. Shut the disabled person away out of sight. What if their work needs to be done face to face? Even if it isn’t then not being physically present when everyone else is could impact on their promotion chances, never mind their mental health!

Yes it is jarring but most people can cope with it. When I’ve been next to my friend and he’s screamed sometimes it makes me jump. But then we laugh and move on. You do kind of get used to it. And anyone who’s struggling with it more like the OP can sit further away.

Having the person screaming in an office is already affecting op's mental health and probably the rest of the office staff. I definitely wouldn't be able to cope with it but if you think everyone can cope I guess everyone else should put up and shut up ey.

@TheUsualShitshow

Are you actually serious *@icelolly12* ??

People with TS shouldn't be out in society, better to shut them away where nobody has to hear them.

Some of these posts are despicable.

I never said they shouldn't be out in society?! But do I think an office environment is suitable for someone who randomly screams, my answer is no.

How can you get used to someone randomly screaming?

The same way you get used someone randomly sneezing or a car horn randomly honking in the street outside, or doors slamming shut. You hear something often enough, you know what it is, you get used to it.

People can't be fucking shut away from society because they make a noise sometimes. Lots of people with conditions like cerebral palsy can't control vocalisations and make noises involuntarily sometimes. Do you think they should be banned from the workplace too?

Do you work in the Sistine chapel by any chance?

@QuebecBagnet

l round it would surely be better if some kind of home working arrangement for the colleague could be put in place. Just because someone has got a disability doesn't mean everyone else should be miserable and suffer.

Wow that’s fairly disabilist. Shut the disabled person away out of sight. What if their work needs to be done face to face? Even if it isn’t then not being physically present when everyone else is could impact on their promotion chances, never mind their mental health!

Yes it is jarring but most people can cope with it. When I’ve been next to my friend and he’s screamed sometimes it makes me jump. But then we laugh and move on. You do kind of get used to it. And anyone who’s struggling with it more like the OP can sit further away.

Where’s your evidence that most people can cope with it? You may not mind your friend screaming but it’s a pretty big leap from that to ‘most people’. Your opinion on your friend screaming is completely irrelevant - the OP does mind it, and sitting further away doesn’t solve the problem.

Reasonable adjustments have to be made to accommodate all staff - the manager isn’t doing their job properly.

It's not for you to decide though is it @icelolly12 if she should be allowed to be in a workplace or not.

Reasonable adjustments are being made for the woman, who clearly has either a desire or a need to be in an office.

The fact that my child might one day have to work with people like you is honestly breaking my heart.

A lot depends on whether you have fully disclosed your disability to your employers, and whether it is backed up professionally.

This. If you haven't I'd contact HR to ask about the process and what information they would require.

Though I do have conditions diganosed and some related to hearing processing but not actually saying anything about it so I don't think in a similar situation it would be enough to get me accomodations if employer was being unhelpful. So if it is undiagnosed just something your aware is an issue for you - I think it's going to be hard. You could try safety and driving tack and suggest seperate travel arragements.

Your on much firmer ground if you are proffesionally diagonsed and company is aware or can wquickly be made aware- then they should be finding ways to accomodate both of your conditions.

@Bluebluemoon

Do you work in the Sistine chapel by any chance?

Again with the hilariousness

Wear a headphone?

The same way you get used someone randomly sneezing or a car horn randomly honking in the street outside, or doors slamming shut. You hear something often enough, you know what it is, you get used to it.

I seem to have aninvoluntary dramatic startle response which seems to offend people when large noises or people I'm not aware of suddenly talk - one of our childen is the same. I was always like it it was put down to me being "shy" or later the dyslexia and dyspraxia. It's never been such an issue that I've had it looked into specifically - though I don't drive and I could see issues there.

It even happens when I should realistically be expecting the noise worst things is if I'm carrying something or drinking but usually it's people's reactions to it. I don't know as never been in an office with someone randomly making noises but depending on freqeuncy it would possible just be a huge stessor for me putting me on constant edge.

It would be stressful for some people I imagine. Not as stressful as it is for the woman though. It's really up to each individual to decide if their working conditions suit them or not isn't it?

Have you both been working there long?

I would find another job or transfer departments if that's a possibility.

I wouldn't be able to tolerate it and it would trigger my PTSD, blast my hearing aids, panic attacks, etc.

Your employer needs your condition documented and then they can make adjustments to accommodate your needs. If may seem a bit bizarre that you can’t just explain to them that you are sensitive to this particular behavior, but that is just the way the system works. You go to your doctor, the doctor provides documentation, and then the employer is covered legally.

They cannot punish her for having tourette's. They cannot punish your for having an auditory issue. They need to look after you both. Right now, they are only considering her so they are breaking employment law

This. It's quite simple really.

Assuming you have disclosed to them the nature of your disability in full, they have to make accommodations for you both and shouldn't be forcing you to work together.

If you haven't disclosed your disability then you can't expect adjustments until you do.

The OP has a practical proposal, not just complaining. Her employer should make adjustments as proposed, or even something better.

As for the car driving, I don't think anyone at work should be forced to share a car, driver or passenger, with someone with Tourette's.

@incognitoforthisone

How can you get used to someone randomly screaming?

The same way you get used someone randomly sneezing or a car horn randomly honking in the street outside, or doors slamming shut. You hear something often enough, you know what it is, you get used to it.

People can't be fucking shut away from society because they make a noise sometimes. Lots of people with conditions like cerebral palsy can't control vocalisations and make noises involuntarily sometimes. Do you think they should be banned from the workplace too?

two things....apart from the sneezing, those noises are not happening right next to you and INSIDE the car. As a driver I would certainly expect an adult sensible passenger to try to warn me before they sneezed explosively...also a scream is by its nature different. We are hard wired to react to a scream. Yes if the driver is a close friend of the Tourretter and drives them often, it may well be that they can become accustomed to it but I don't think its reasonable or safe to expect a work colleague to do the same. Its very sad. I had a patient as a student who had absence seizures. Without fail as the seizure ended she would strike out at anybody nearby. it wasn't random, it would be an aimed and hard blow. She knew about it and would warn people that if she seized, they were to step away from her. Imagine if she was a car passenger! No one is saying that people who have problems with their illness or disablity should be shut away but there is no doubt that there are certain circumstances and situations that they cannot be allowed to be in for the safety of others..

@balalake

The OP has a practical proposal, not just complaining. Her employer should make adjustments as proposed, or even something better.

As for the car driving, I don't think anyone at work should be forced to share a car, driver or passenger, with someone with Tourette's.

As for the car driving, I don't think anyone at work should be forced to share a car, driver or passenger, with someone with Autism.

As for the car driving, I don't think anyone at work should be forced to share a car, driver or passenger, with someone with Cerebral Palsy.

As for the car driving, I don't think anyone at work should be forced to share a car, driver or passenger, with someone with Parkinson's.

All of these diseases feature random sounds and/or movements.

Still good with what you wrote?

Well, I couldn't cope with random screaming and according to the poll nor could most people!

I am surprised though that people with Tourettes can have a driving lesson. An uncontrollable voluntary movement while driving at 70 miles an hour down the motorway or while sitting in a traffic jam, causing them to not be full control of the vehicle is dangerous.

Screaming too, especially if it involves closing the eyes is pretty dangerous.

I also feel that screaming in a crowded public place is dangerous. Screaming on the underground is causing to cause panic or in a concert hall or on a plane. I would be fucking raging to have a panic attack because of screaming from an adult.

We have to live together and screaming will make a lot of people on edge, frightened, panicky or distressed. The right to scream is not a given and we can't all wear headphones everywhere we go and why should we!

Th e Sistine Chapel thread amused a lot of us who are not so po-faced. It was funny to read about someone who said she was so overcome by the beauty she had to scream at it. I recall that her husband wasn't amused though because he wandered away from her in a fug of mortification.