To move DD to another school?

[AlJalilia]

DD is 9 years old and in Year 4. We are not in the U.K. In her class are 17 boys and 5 girls. DD was good friends with 2 of the other girls for years. They were a happy group of 3 and had many play dates, etc. We never expected this to change. The other 2 girls in the class don’t really mix, one plays solely with the boys, the other likes to stay on her own. The boys have their own groups and don’t really mix with the girls.

A few months ago, DD’s 2 friends turned on her. They pushed her out of the group of 3 and now DD is alone. They are ignoring her on their shared online game, they rub DD’s face in it every time they have a sleepover without her, etc.

School are powerless to do anything but have arranged counselling for her. The counsellor said she has “come to terms with the new friendship situation” but I can see it is breaking her heart.

She saw them both out at the weekend and when they saw her, they just started whispering to each other. These two girls used to be her best friends.

DD is a lovely, kind, beautiful child. She doesn’t deserve this.

There is another school locally that we could potentially move her to. However, it is highly selective and DD is an average child. She would need so much tutoring to even stand a chance of being offered a place. However, if she did get in, there would be many other girls who she could be friends with.

I just don’t know what to do. Help me Mumsnet. My heart is breaking for her.

@Benjispruce4 - it's tough isn't it- trying to find the 'right' line between kids being allowed to talk to/ with who they want and not deliberately excluding others. As an adult I chat 'privately' at work with some friends when others are there, so I don't know how I feel about a complete ban- but kids also don't know the point a private chat can become exclusionary- so tough!!

Of course they can chat privately when nobody else to leave out, but they were walking in the playground as a 3 then moving off to have a PT leaving one alone, repeatedly . That’s bullying.

School sounds wierd and unpleasant. Way too few girls there and girls wandering around alone all the time is frankly bizarre

I'd move ASAP

Also get off Robolox. Terrible stuff.

I'd look at Atom for prepping. It's adaptive and she can do loads of practice in a month. A lot of it will be about familiarity with the reasoning style of Qs I would guess. But it is UK-oriented.

The entrance test for the Selective School is next month. I want to give her the best possible chance of getting in. The school don’t tell you, but from what I can gather the test will be on Maths, Comprehension and Reasoning. Can anybody recommend some resources that we can use to prepare her for the test?

It would be hard to say without knowing what system you are in. Where I am (Sydney, Aust), the vast majority of parents use intensive external coaching for that purpose - essentially they coach to the tests. They are a few free previous tests online, or you can purchase books with loads of practice tests/worked responses as kids need to achieve not only accuracy but speed which comes through practice. However, if you are in Sweden for example the best preparation may be entirely different as it would be a different system! Even in the same country (Australia) our selective systems differ across States for those that have it and what people may do in one State to best prepare would not be relevant to another State.