Neighbour from downstairs doesn't stop complaining about my 2 year old.

[HipsterMum]

We are a family of academics with 2 boys who are 5 and 2 years old. We are currently renting a lovely flat in a large block of flats where the walls are quite thin. We can hear a lot happening in other flats and unfortunately, our neighbours from downstairs can hear us too. We are not particularly noisy, my husband is at work full time, my eldest child is at school and after school he is usually quietly playing with his toys. My youngest is still waiting for his place in the nursery and as I am currently working from home, I look after him in the house. He is not particularly noisy, we don't allow scooters, big cars around the house but he did just discover running so he does sometimes run from one room to another although we continuously tell him to walk gently. Yet he is still a child.

For 2 years we had no problem with any neighbours. The couples living next to us are lovely so is the elderly gentlemen who is completely understanding of some extra noise especially during school holidays and weekends. My kids are always in their bed at about 6.30 reading and then straight to sleep. They wake up normally at 7.30 am and we encourage them to do quite activities like drawing in the mornings. If they get too loud or start jumping off somewhere in the mornings for example on Sundays, we stop this straight away. They also wear soft slippers at all times.

A few months back an owner of the flat below ours decided to move back in (it was rented out before therefore we had no problems with previous people). He hasn't stopped coming up to us and knocking on our doors since. The first time he did it, we were all sick with covid for 10 days. He came on day 2 of isolation and asked us to take the kids out to the park as he couldnt listen to their little feet. When I hoover the floors at 3 pm , he starts banging. When my youngest runs to the loo he bangs. We had relatives over who we not seen for 4 years because of the lockdown and the kids were meeting them for the first time and were opening presents and being excited he was at our door at 2 pm on Sunday saying we have to tell our kids to simply stop walking because he cannot stand it.

We talked with our landlord about the carpets (we have some mats around but thats not enough) but he wouldn't pay for them and he doesn't want carpets permanently placed in this flat anyway. Furthermore, our eldest has got a bad dust allergy so carpets are really difficult, that's why I hoover quite a lot. We invested in a couple of more rugs but I don't think it will make much of a difference. He threatens us that he will continue to come and bang on our front door because he cannot enjoy his life because of our 2 year old. He says we are not being considerate of others and we should be able to tell our kids to stop because he can hear their steps from 9 am till 6 pm. But I cannot tie them up to their chairs or threaten to punish them each time they walk in the own flat. I am at my end with this man. This man suggests I tire them in the park because that's what real parents do (I doubt he ever had kids) but I cannot be with them in the park every weekend from 9 am till 6, can I? We are out most of the days and i do tire my youngest out with the scooter but kids still walk after the park.

What I am asking of all of you is what else can this neighbour actually legally do? What else can I do? My husband says I should not open the door when I am in the flat alone with the little one and tell the guy to stop this harassment. We don't mind moving somewhere else, possibly on the ground floor in the future but we enjoy this flat at the moment as it is right next to my sons school and we live a happy life here.

I understand many people don't enjoy children with their annoying little feet but bloody hell they are humans and not robots.

@DameHelena

You see, noise is one thing, but inconsiderate noise is another. We don't kick off shoes on wooden floors or slam doors. None of us scream down the phone either. I don't think screaming down the phone is the same kind of noise as people kicking off their shoes on wooden floors (how the fuck are you supposed to do it? Go into a soundproof shoe-removal booth?)

I suspect you have lived another way. If you knew inner city apartment living you would know consideration for effortless stuff like NOT slamming doors is basic civility.
a) I said (lightheartedly, although I'm slightly regretting it now you've hove into view) that it was people in MY household who sometimes slam doors, so there's no argument to be had about it being civil or not towards neighbours.
b) Sorry Sherlock but you suspect wrong. I live in London zone 2, in a Victorian conversion with all the noise implications of one of those.
I'm on the lower-ground and first floors, so my household arguably gets the bulk of the noise from the neighbours –hoofing up and down the internal stairs, shared front door opening and closing/slamming, furniture being moved about, hoovering etc. Oh, and I can hear what I assume is a blender/food mixer next door too.
It's all everyday noise and if people don't like it, they need to use earplugs or live elsewhere.

Watch out for that chip on your shoulder in zone 2. I am no Sherlock, I simply am a considerate apartment dweller.

But seems you want to pick at a post that chose to see both sides.

My neighbour was really intolerable. She bothered us on all levels - despite our reasonable approach to the only way we have ever lived.

Jog on now with kicking off shoes, those who aren't twats simply remove them. They aren't rugby balls. If you kick them off in the way we were subjected to then you are heathens. Zero excuse for noise like that.

But I am sure you know better.

What I will say though is that I have lived in apartments all my adult life. A skyscraper in my youth, but I have always been considerate - as I was taught. I really dislike posters like you who try to reduce anyone who complains of such noise as petty or intolerant.

As is the Mn way any complaint or Rl experience is often minimised.

@loveinthe90s

You're right, I'm not a detective! Well deduced!

Are you not in the UK?

Of course you are not. My nickname is HipsterMum. If I were in fact the father, it would have been a tiny bit different, don't you think? Your follow up question is really not whether I am from the UK. It is simply you trying to say that I am not British.

I've read a couple of posts suggesting I raise this issue as a harassment with the police. Would people actually do that? I mean he seems more annoying than threatening and I of course wouldn't want to waste police officer's time with something so minor. I cannot answer for my husband though who believes this man is just looking for an argument and that he won't stop coming to us until we are out of this flat permanently.

Watch out for that chip on your shoulder in zone 2. Sorry, what? I mention where I live as you assumed I had no experience of 'inner city apartment living'.

'picking at posts' is quite ironic. I'm not the only person expressing scepticism at people kicking off shoes being 'truly awful'.

There really are much worse noises to hear through the ceiling/walls. I find your response rather disproportionate. 'twats'? 'heathens'? on top of 'savages'?

@HipsterMum

I've read a couple of posts suggesting I raise this issue as a harassment with the police. Would people actually do that? I mean he seems more annoying than threatening and I of course wouldn't want to waste police officer's time with something so minor. I cannot answer for my husband though who believes this man is just looking for an argument and that he won't stop coming to us until we are out of this flat permanently.

Try the non-emergency police for advice. I've found them kind and helpful (not on this issue, admittedly, but I'm sure they will be).

Ignore him, carry on living your life.

Neighbours make noise in the day. I've had neighbours who argue, neighbours where I could hear whole conversations, neighbours with children, neighbours with dogs and cats and chickens. It's just part of living for most people.

I currently live near the edge of a mostly quiet semi-rural village in a cluster of semi detached houses. My neighbours still make noise, especially when it's nice and there's children outdoors. Quieter than the flats and victorian terraces with minimal soundproofing I've lived in before, though.

Perhaps your neighbour should reconsider living in a flat... Even if you leave, what's to say that another family won't move in? If it's right for your family, it will be probably be exactly what another family is looking for.

Crack on OP. You've done nothing wrong.