Woman yelling at me because I wanted to avoid her dog

[Matleave2022]

I was walking along a reasonably narrow path with trees either side this morning and I had DS (4 months old) with me in a reclined buggy.

I spotted a couple (maybe in their late 50s or early 60s) coming towards me with an agressive looking breed of dog. I decided that I didn't want to take the risk, so without saying anything to them, I politely stopped in the path, stood in front of DS's buggy and waited for them to pass.

I want to stress that I said absolutely nothing to them as they were approaching. However, as they got close, the woman in the couple started yelling at me about how "My dog isn't going to eat your baby." "My dog is fine". "I think you are being overprotective".

My response was that I didn't know her from Adam, so why on earth would I trust a random stranger telling me that her dog was OK.

She continued to yell about me being overprotective and that me stopping in the path was "scaring" her dog. My only response was to tell her that she was being ridiculous to expect strangers to trust her assertions about her large dog, and I walked on once she had finally passed me.

I could have understood her reaction if I had said something like "keep your dog away from us" when I stopped, but I was silent and patiently waiting for her, her partner and the dog to pass.

It seems batshit that she got offended by me silently choosing to stop and not take the chance that her dog could go for the buggy. AIBU?

The whole interaction sounds a but strange TBH. Standing in front if the buggy like tgstcdounds odd.

@Booboobibles I don't melt at the sight of any dogs, even the cute 'n' fluffy ones, as they're the kind I've been bitten by. I think people thinking of dogs like they're their children is part of the problem, as they end up spoilt and thinking they're in charge. I also don't particularly care for children, unless they're related to me or the children of my friends. (Rats and guinea pigs have my heart though.)

This thread is absolutely batshit crazy. I love dogs. I have a dog. Love her to bits. She’s trained. I make sure I keep her away from kids because even though she’s a sweetie and not at all considered an aggressive breed, I totally understand people being wary of her around their kids. And even “good” dogs can suddenly become unpredictable.

I also have a child whose pram has been jumped on by other people’s dogs multiple times, who I’ve had to hold over my head while their dogs have tried to launch themselves at him and who has been knocked down by dogs. And the owners either don’t seem to notice/care/or come up with the most ludicrous comments when I tell them to control their dogs.

The fact so many posters are trying to paint the OP as some kind of hysterical woman just for being a good mum and assessing threats to her child is frankly embarrassing and very, very sad.

Unfortunately a minority of dog owners are bat shit crazy and this woman is one of them.
You did nothing wrong.

I have a dog @Matleave2022 and I think you did the right thing .
My dog loves dc but can be bouncy and we always keep her on a short lead when we see runners, dc, other dogs etc.

The woman was being ridiculous.

I have a small staffie, she is 9 and is very slow and gentle. I also have a baby.

People will often pick their dogs and look at my dog with disgust, drag their children away (even when she is on a lead?!). Drag their dogs away from her in the park when both dogs clearly just want to say hello.

Sometimes the body language and facial expressions is just full of disgust and judgement. This hurts. I would totally understand if there is a comment such as I’m just nervous or, my dog/child doesn’t really like dogs, with a friendly smile. But I don’t think people realise how they can come across in these situations.

Obviously do what you feel is best, but I can understand how owners of these supposedly ‘dangerous breeds’ can feel defensive, upset and judged.

FYI my dog has never attacked - she has been attacked significantly though by a chihuahua and a Boston terrier. Breed isn’t everything. Training, awareness, responsibility and common sense of owners is.

@pudridpudding

This thread is absolutely batshit crazy. I love dogs. I have a dog. Love her to bits. She’s trained. I make sure I keep her away from kids because even though she’s a sweetie and not at all considered an aggressive breed, I totally understand people being wary of her around their kids. And even “good” dogs can suddenly become unpredictable.

I also have a child whose pram has been jumped on by other people’s dogs multiple times, who I’ve had to hold over my head while their dogs have tried to launch themselves at him and who has been knocked down by dogs. And the owners either don’t seem to notice/care/or come up with the most ludicrous comments when I tell them to control their dogs.

The fact so many posters are trying to paint the OP as some kind of hysterical woman just for being a good mum and assessing threats to her child is frankly embarrassing and very, very sad.

This - it also shows a lack of understanding and proper experience with dogs and other large animals.

It's not hysterical to be cautious with animals around babies and children, it's just good practice and common sense ffs.

@Sagared

YABU If you'd have said 'a dog' fine. The fact you were wary of a dog is fine. The fact you were wary just because of the breed however, is not. All dogs can be aggressive, smaller ones especially. Don't go at particular breeds. Typical

I really don't understand this attitude. No you can't tell a dog's temperament by looking at them in the street, but you quite clearly can tell the dog's strength and ability to cause damage?

I'm waking down the street with my pram and I see a chihuahua. Yes it may well be a nasty little thing, but it's unlikely that the chihuahua is going to be able to jump up into my baby's pram. If it does, I'm confident I could handle the situation.

If I'm waking down the street with my pram and I see a staffie, I know that if that staffie turns nasty there's a much, much lower chance that I'd be able to handle it. There's also the non-zero chance that a friendly big dog will jump up at my pram and accidentally hurt my baby that way.

Fwiw, in a scenario where my baby is out of a pram, there's no way I'd be letting a small dog near him either.

@Sagared

"YABU
If you'd have said 'a dog' fine. The fact you were wary of a dog is fine. The fact you were wary just because of the breed however, is not. All dogs can be aggressive, smaller ones especially.
Don't go at particular breeds. Typical"

Bullshit, the stats don't lie here, check out the tables in the wiki link below, it most certainly is "certain breeds of dogs" that come up time and time again. Mostly bull dogs (american/pitt/Cross etc etc), staffies, German shepherd, mastifs) yes the odd one that is not but largely these breeds that fatally attack. Yes other breeds may be aggressive but you are more wary of breeds that on a higher frequency than any other breed turn that agession to a fatal attack and it is not unreasonable to do so.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_dog_attacks_in_the_United_Kingdom

Yanbu....i cannot stand and all these insufferable dog owners. Even if you were being overprotective ehy the need to shout? You struck a raw nerve!

Well aggressive owner tells me ad owner...id be the same as you op. Yanbu

@Matleave2022 I honestly don't care what anyone thinks at all, and neither should you. It's your child.

If people can't understand then that's on them.

I love dogs but don't need to justify my actions to anyone, like you say when a dog is face height with your pram I wouldn't risk it. All it takes is a sudden movement.

Anyway, I agree with you. Ignore other posters you aren't being silly and don't feel silly about doing the same thing in the future. I will and do...

It doesn't matter if it was an overreaction, you can stand anywhere you want! As long as you weren't blocking their way it was none of their business!

@yaboreme Thank you! Something a minority of dog owners fail to grasp, is that even if they own the loveliest, good natured big dog in the world, and they are good owners, a stranger cannot know this. A total stranger is therefore perfectly within their rights to assume that a random dog that they have no personal experience with might be dangerous (and/or the owner might be a f*ckwitt who does nothing to effectively control the animal).

Enough of us using country paths, parks, etc. have encountered these types of uncontrolled dogs and irresponsible owners that we are not going to wait to get the dog's life history from the owner before taking a very simple step to prevent the dog's access to a small child before the dog gets too close. As a previous PP (who was a former postie) pointed out, it's usually the most vocally defensive "it's ok, he's friendly" type owners who actually can't control their dogs.

From some of the responses on this thread, I am surprised that haven't seen someone post #notalldogs yet!

I don't understand the whole strafing in front of the buggy thing.
Why not wait for them to pass or cross over the road. Why fling yourself infront of the buggy on the assumption the dog was going to jump in.

Also, trust me, generally it's the little ones you want to watch for.

I think it’s weird you stopped, I wouldn’t think to do this personally with a baby safe in a pram. Weird she shouted at you too though, just a strange situation all round.

@RegardingMary , if you actually properly read my posts you would have realised that it was a narrow path with trees either side. There was nowhere for me to go to avoid the dog getting close.

Regarding your small dogs can also be vicious point (which has been done to death by previous posters), I don't want any dog within biting height of my DS's buggy, so I would have done the same for a spaniel or a terrier. I mentioned the type of dog, as people who choose to own large, muscular breeds (with the potential to do far more damage if ill-trained) should not be surprised that people with small children want to give them a wide berth.

Yeah you were totally unreasonable!! Talk about overreaction. You child will also grow up absolutely terrified. Get a grip

It may be a good idea to have your buggy parent facing so you don't have to stand in front of it.

But very few people are self aware enough to believe anyone would see their family pet as a risk, or more risky just because they're large. I have to regularly remind myself when I take our dog. Although I'd have never shouted at you and would have walked as close to the trees as possible if I saw you looking protective / worried.

@Sagared please read the thread properly. It was an open faced reclined buggy, not a carrycot.

An open buggy is not safe from dogs, hence why I stepped in front. Several PPs on this thread have had experience of dogs jumping into buggies to take toys or food from small children, or even just randomly going for the buggy because they were spooked by it.

As it's been two days of responding, I am going to bow out from responding further. Some of the posts about eye rolling etc. have certainly given me an insight into what goes through the minds of a minority or owners (like the woman I encountered) who seem to think that not offending dog owners should trump any concern that I have small risk of harm to my DS by letting a random dog get too close.

While I am slightly irritated that, as people have suggested, I should now go through a performance of pretending to fix the buggy to avoid antagonising these types of owners, I will be doing this in future, as it does seem a sensible way to avoid getting random abuse from dog owners who take parents being cautious personally.

Plenty of dog owners have also posted to say that they don't understand what this woman's issue is, and I particularly like the PP, a dog owner, who said "it's not as if the dog is going to be offended".

I will end by saying that any dog owner who thinks that "it's OK, he's friendly" is an answer to a stranger being unhappy with the proximity of their dog, should either stay silent or replace that response with "I am sorry that my dog invaded your personal space".

I have a largish breed. Probably one that people think looks like she is strong.
personally I would have thought you were crazy, rolled my eyes and smiled to myself, but I wouldn't have said anything to you, I'd just assume your not very knowledgable about dogs.
I do think though as your child gets older if you carry on standing in front of the pram every time a scary looking to you dog walks past your going to teach them to be scared of dogs which will be a nightmare when there older.

If I'm waking down the street with my pram and I see a staffie, I know that if that staffie turns nasty there's a much, much lower chance that I'd be able to handle it. There's also the non-zero chance that a friendly big dog will jump up at my pram and accidentally hurt my baby that way.

This. I don’t understand how this is a hard thing to understand. A parent knows their own strength and how much they are able to do to pull a dog off their child if need be. We cannot assume their owners do or know how they will react in such a situation.

@MissMaple82

Yeah you were totally unreasonable!! Talk about overreaction. You child will also grow up absolutely terrified. Get a grip

I will end by saying that any dog owner who thinks that "it's OK, he's friendly" is an answer to a stranger being unhappy with the proximity of their dog, should either stay silent or replace that response with "I am sorry that my dog invaded your personal space

I agree totally (though you may not see this!)

[quote Matleave2022]@AlanBrazil I mentioned their ages, as I got the sense that the woman wouldn't have yelled at me like that, had I been closer to her age ( I am in my 30s so not super young, but a fair bit younger than she was).

Her yelling was done in a very patronising fashion (as if I were her daughter or similar) regarding the "overprotective" comments.[/quote]
So she didn't yell then?