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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman yelling at me because I wanted to avoid her dog

343 replies

Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 12:33

I was walking along a reasonably narrow path with trees either side this morning and I had DS (4 months old) with me in a reclined buggy.

I spotted a couple (maybe in their late 50s or early 60s) coming towards me with an agressive looking breed of dog. I decided that I didn't want to take the risk, so without saying anything to them, I politely stopped in the path, stood in front of DS's buggy and waited for them to pass.

I want to stress that I said absolutely nothing to them as they were approaching. However, as they got close, the woman in the couple started yelling at me about how "My dog isn't going to eat your baby." "My dog is fine". "I think you are being overprotective".

My response was that I didn't know her from Adam, so why on earth would I trust a random stranger telling me that her dog was OK.

She continued to yell about me being overprotective and that me stopping in the path was "scaring" her dog. My only response was to tell her that she was being ridiculous to expect strangers to trust her assertions about her large dog, and I walked on once she had finally passed me.

I could have understood her reaction if I had said something like "keep your dog away from us" when I stopped, but I was silent and patiently waiting for her, her partner and the dog to pass.

It seems batshit that she got offended by me silently choosing to stop and not take the chance that her dog could go for the buggy. AIBU?

OP posts:
romdowa · 26/03/2022 12:53

Yabu and if I'd been them I wouldn't have bothered confronting you , I'd have just laughed and kept walking.

AlanBrazil · 26/03/2022 12:54

[quote Matleave2022]@AlanBrazil I mentioned their ages, as I got the sense that the woman wouldn't have yelled at me like that, had I been closer to her age ( I am in my 30s so not super young, but a fair bit younger than she was).

Her yelling was done in a very patronising fashion (as if I were her daughter or similar) regarding the "overprotective" comments.[/quote]
You 'got the sense'

OK then.

elenacampana · 26/03/2022 12:54

[quote Matleave2022]@Blackbutler86 by "aggressive" I mean a big, powerful, breed of dog. You can call that "higher potential to be aggressive" if you would prefer.[/quote]
Big dog really doesn’t equate to aggressive dog.

Areyoiboredyet · 26/03/2022 12:54

I would probably have asked her if she can speak "dog"?, even the most friendly and calmest of dog can turn and it only takes a second. Famous last words from the owners were "he's never done it before" after the fact. My DS was highly dog phobic as a child so I would be very careful with him around dogs as all logic would go out of his head and he would run when frightened. Not everyone is a dog lover and that lady should have just kept walking.

Soontobe60 · 26/03/2022 12:54

@Bananabutter

YANBU. If people choose to have aggressive breeds they need to live with the consequences of that, and one of those is that nobody is going to want to go near it no matter how “friendly” and “lovable” they are.
The OP doesn’t say what breed of dog it was. I’m guessing it must have had tattoos and piercings though if it looked aggressive 😂
Blackbutler86 · 26/03/2022 12:56

[quote Matleave2022]@Blackbutler86 by "aggressive" I mean a big, powerful, breed of dog. You can call that "higher potential to be aggressive" if you would prefer.[/quote]
No I would not prefer to say that as it’s simply not true.

Unsureaboutit9 · 26/03/2022 12:57

@Bananabutter

YANBU. If people choose to have aggressive breeds they need to live with the consequences of that, and one of those is that nobody is going to want to go near it no matter how “friendly” and “lovable” they are.
The OP doesn’t say aggressive breed, she said big powerful breed, that doesn’t necessarily equal aggressive breed. And plenty of people are willing to go near big dogs, many arnt, but it’s only a few who go as far as to stop walking and stand in front of their pram blocking the dogs access when the dog isn’t even acting aggressive.
Thesearmsofmine · 26/03/2022 12:57

@lemongreentea

SOME not all dog owners are like this. Weirdly upset that not everyone a)loves dogs b)is obbsessed with their dog.

If you are an entitled dog owner who thinks people should love being close to your dog just stop. We don't give a shit about what pet you choose to have. if your dog makes you happy then thats great but it doesnt make us who are trying to avoid you dog for whatever reason happy. stop with the weird 'oh he wont hurt you'
WE DON"T CARE JUST STOP TALKING TO US.

We dont want to acknowlegde your dog as we dont care about your dog.

But this owner didn’t want to the OP to have any interest in their dog. They were just walking it in the opposite direction, not bringing it over to OP and her baby and trying to interact.
Whereverilaymycat · 26/03/2022 12:57

Don’t give it another thought. You did what made you comfortable and it’s really none of their business. Every dog owner will sing the praises of their dog, but just because they love it doesn’t mean you have to. Perhaps standing in front of the buggy was unnecessary, but to be honest I get a bit tired of dog owners telling other people how they should feel about an animal they have absolutely no experience with.

Georgeskitchen · 26/03/2022 12:58

You were protecting your baby.
You don't have to explain yourself to anyone

milkyaqua · 26/03/2022 12:59

You're allowed to be scared of other people's dogs. Better safe than sorry.

CounsellorTroi · 26/03/2022 13:01

Big dog really doesn’t equate to aggressive dog.

All dogs look aggressive to someone who is afraid of them and can’t read their body language.

Hoppinggreen · 26/03/2022 13:05

Gosh, so much of this happening today

Jaxhog · 26/03/2022 13:06

@WeDontShutUpAboutBruno

I think they were unpleasant, but you escalated it.

Fine to stop, I used to do the same as dd was petrified of dogs, I had comments often, ended up either ignoring or saying dd was allergic. No point having a row in the street.

Er, no. Op didn't say anything until she was yelled at.
Saucery · 26/03/2022 13:08

@Hoppinggreen

Gosh, so much of this happening today
It’s a more reliable indicator of Spring than the call of the cuckoo. First bit of nice weather, all the “pit Bull types” come out to play in MN Land. Grin
Suedomin · 26/03/2022 13:10

You are not being unreasonable for some reason I don't understand some pet owners seem to think that just because they love their pet everyone will.
I feel the same when dogs jump up at me and the owners just say they are just being friendly they won't hurt you.

Riapia · 26/03/2022 13:10

OP you have posted on AIBU, any views expressed on here are not necessarily those of the person that posted them.

Original poster
Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 13:11

@57Unsureaboutit9 I was not blocking the dog's access. There is sufficient room on this path for people walking in opposite directions to pass each other, but only reasonably closely.

I chose to stop in front of the buggy because the couple and their dog would be fairly close to me and the buggy when we crossed paths, and I didn't want to risk a random dog that I don't know lunging for the buggy.
If it was a wider path then I would have just given them a wide berth, but I couldn't do that because of the trees either side of the path.

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 26/03/2022 13:11

[quote Matleave2022]@AlanBrazil I mentioned their ages, as I got the sense that the woman wouldn't have yelled at me like that, had I been closer to her age ( I am in my 30s so not super young, but a fair bit younger than she was).

Her yelling was done in a very patronising fashion (as if I were her daughter or similar) regarding the "overprotective" comments.[/quote]
Age is irrelevant. I am 55 and I wouldn't behave like that, even to someone younger.

Lillygolightly · 26/03/2022 13:12

I would do whatever I felt necessary to feel that my child is safe, so no I don’t think you were unreasonable to have stood calmly in front of your pram. I wouldn’t have dignified the woman’s rant with a response but whatever.

It was just a few seconds action you took to make sure your child stayed safe. Over reaction or over protection it doesn’t really matter, it made you feel better and in any case I would rather look a bit over protective than risk the alternative!

As someone who has 2 scars on my face and very lucky not to have lost my eye thanks to a dog, I don’t think you were wrong to take the extra precaution.

Notanotherwindow · 26/03/2022 13:13

Please look up the definition of aggressive and stop butchering the English language.

This really did not happen.

nonetcurtains · 26/03/2022 13:15

I'd have told her it wasn't the dog you were concerned about Smile . Aggressive owners are much more common than aggressive dogs.

LaMarschallin · 26/03/2022 13:15

BrioNotBiro

Did she actually 'yell' at you when close up? Seems OTT.

Anyone who disagrees with the actions and/or statements of someone who subsequently posts about it on MN always yells or screams.
I think it's the law.

I want to know how to yell patronisingly. I'd have thought saying something in an amused or lofty tone was more patronising.
I need to know because I'm in my 50s and obviously want to treat those 20 or 30something whipper-snappers accordingly.

MintyGreenDream · 26/03/2022 13:16

What breed was it?

Eileen101 · 26/03/2022 13:17

Yanbu. I'd have done the same.
My 4 year old son has had dogs jumping up him twice recently and he's now petrified Hmm
On our walk last weekend at a local beauty spot, an off lead dog came right up to him sniffing him which made DS scream and even when DH shouted "don't worry, the lady will call him off soon", she did no such thing, merely tutted at DHs audacity to nudge the dog away from DS with his toe.