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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman yelling at me because I wanted to avoid her dog

343 replies

Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 12:33

I was walking along a reasonably narrow path with trees either side this morning and I had DS (4 months old) with me in a reclined buggy.

I spotted a couple (maybe in their late 50s or early 60s) coming towards me with an agressive looking breed of dog. I decided that I didn't want to take the risk, so without saying anything to them, I politely stopped in the path, stood in front of DS's buggy and waited for them to pass.

I want to stress that I said absolutely nothing to them as they were approaching. However, as they got close, the woman in the couple started yelling at me about how "My dog isn't going to eat your baby." "My dog is fine". "I think you are being overprotective".

My response was that I didn't know her from Adam, so why on earth would I trust a random stranger telling me that her dog was OK.

She continued to yell about me being overprotective and that me stopping in the path was "scaring" her dog. My only response was to tell her that she was being ridiculous to expect strangers to trust her assertions about her large dog, and I walked on once she had finally passed me.

I could have understood her reaction if I had said something like "keep your dog away from us" when I stopped, but I was silent and patiently waiting for her, her partner and the dog to pass.

It seems batshit that she got offended by me silently choosing to stop and not take the chance that her dog could go for the buggy. AIBU?

OP posts:
HiJenny35 · 26/03/2022 19:41

Oh please, let's not pretend that certain breeds haven't attacked and killed several children. If you choose to have one of these breeds then expect people to not want to pass it with their dogs. Who cares if the owner rolls their eyes or says somthing, only certain types of people have these breeds. As someone who was attacked whilst holding their under 2 year old by a staff who I didn't even see coming who apparently "had never done anything like it before" you 100% did the right thing. I always walk in front of the pushchair and ask partner to push it when dogs are passing, not when it's a small dog no because yes it could jump up and bite but the bite isn't going to kill my child.

Mickarooni · 26/03/2022 19:43

@RoastedFerret

”And yeah if I say someone guarding their child from what seems to have been a well behaved, on lead dog before I was a dog owner they would have got an internal eye roll from me then too, ridiculous dramatics are pathetic.”

Ridiculous dramatics over your feelings and your dog’s feelings are more pathetic. 🤷🏻‍♀️ As a dog owner, I don’t think another person feeling terrified of my dog is ridiculous, dramatic or pathetic.

curlymom · 26/03/2022 19:45

Dogs are on most walks nowadays. You are unreasonable too. You never know how they will behave but to go out and act make a statement about how you think a certain dog might behave is ridiculous. You would be standing in front of the buggy every few yards. I’ve never witnessed such strange behaviour. My dogs are better behaved than most people!

surreygirl1987 · 26/03/2022 19:46

I am AMAZED that 20% of people on here think you're being unreasonable reasonable. You are NOT being unreasonable. I can't stand idiots who don't seem to realise that dogs CAN be dangerous, and we are perfectly entitled to not want a random dog near our children. Seriously, what is wrong with people?! When my youngest son was around 8 months old, a dog raced up to him and dived into his pram, going for his face (he was eating a snack). I had to wrestle the dog off with my bare hands, screaming at it. The moronic dog owner came over and was all 'oh gosh, he's never done anything like that before, honestly he wouldn't have hurt him, he's perfectly safe'. I can't believe what goes through some dog-owners' minds (not all - I know there are some dog owners that understand that not everyone likes dogs, and keeps them on a lead in parks etc).

Nanny0gg · 26/03/2022 19:50

What does it matter (to dog owners)?

Better safe than sorry. They're not going to see each other again (probably). They're not going to 'out' each other on FB.

The dog may have ignored the baby or it may have lunged or attacked.

The OP was protecting her baby 'just in case'. So what?

surreygirl1987 · 26/03/2022 19:50

Dogs are on most walks nowadays. You are unreasonable too. You never know how they will behave but to go out and act make a statement about how you think a certain dog might behave is ridiculous. You would be standing in front of the buggy every few yards. I’ve never witnessed such strange behaviour. My dogs are better behaved than most people!

Strange behaviour?? How is strange to want to protect a child from potential danger? I ALWAYS keep a wary eye out for dogs. As you have said yourself, 'you never know how they will behave'. Any sensible dog owner would simply keep their dogs well away from other people, especially children. This weekend I went for a walk with my toddlers locally and there was a lovely family who was walking their dog on a lead - as soon as they saw us walking towards them, they stopped, moved to the side of the path, told the dog to stay, and waited until we had passed. I thanked them as such sensible thoughtful and responsible behaviour is really appreciated. It isn't the OP's behaviour that is strange at all... but your reaction certainly is.

surreygirl1987 · 26/03/2022 19:51

The dog may have ignored the baby or it may have lunged or attacked. Precisely. This has happened to my son when he was a baby. Why would anyone want to take that risk, just to appease strangers?

surreygirl1987 · 26/03/2022 19:53

Oh please, let's not pretend that certain breeds haven't attacked and killed several children. If you choose to have one of these breeds then expect people to not want to pass it with their dogs. Who cares if the owner rolls their eyes or says somthing, only certain types of people have these breeds. As someone who was attacked whilst holding their under 2 year old by a staff who I didn't even see coming who apparently "had never done anything like it before" you 100% did the right thing. I always walk in front of the pushchair and ask partner to push it when dogs are passing, not when it's a small dog no because yes it could jump up and bite but the bite isn't going to kill my child.

Precisely. I'm so sorry you were attacked like that!!

curlymom · 26/03/2022 19:56

The dog didn’t do anything so it wasn’t an
Issue. Most dogs are fine and owners responsible. If you are scared of walking past a dog because it’s big I’m not the strange one

StoneofDestiny · 26/03/2022 19:59

The dog owner was nuts and aggressive.
Where you stand with your baby was none of her business (unless you were stood in her way). I'd have told her that

surreygirl1987 · 26/03/2022 19:59

Most, not all. And the OP didn't do anything either, aside from wait for the dog/dog-owner to pass, which is perfectly reasonable... yet she got yelled at. Can you really not see the issue??

surreygirl1987 · 26/03/2022 20:00

The dog owner was nuts and aggressive Yep

TheBeautifulMoors · 26/03/2022 20:04

Ignore them. They were completely in the wrong for speaking to you like that. Your baby, your instincts and your decision. You were not in their way so what’s her problem?

canonlydoblue · 26/03/2022 20:27

I always stand in front of my pushchair or put my smaller children behind me if I see a large, jumpy, aggressive dog coming our way. I don't care if that hurts someone's feeling or they think I'm being overprotective. I've had a few people tell me not to worry, their dog is friendly, but I've also had a toddler knocked flat by a dog and more than one dog stick their face into my child's pushchair.

Mickarooni · 26/03/2022 20:30

@curlymom

The dog didn’t do anything so it wasn’t an Issue. Most dogs are fine and owners responsible. If you are scared of walking past a dog because it’s big I’m not the strange one
Yeah, people who are dog phobic definitely deserve to be called strange and have dog owners eye roll at them!!!!
cowskeepingmeupatnight · 26/03/2022 20:40

The dog owners should have just ignored you, but frankly you were being ridiculous. Standing in front of the pram is just performance parenting. And I totally agree with PPs that nobody needs to enjoy someone else’s dog, but I’d say the same about your little bundle of joy too. You’d have got a massive eye roll from me.

I think you need more proportionate ways of dealing with this in the future, or your going to look a right plonker.

RoastedFerret · 26/03/2022 21:05

Ridiculous dramatics over your feelings and your dog’s feelings are more pathetic. 🤷🏻‍♀️ As a dog owner, I don’t think another person feeling terrified of my dog is ridiculous, dramatic or pathetic.

I agree ridiculous dramatics all round are pathetic, a gentle eye roll was all the situation called for.

We will disagree on the other thing. The dramatics I have seen when people encounter my on lead rescue pug are ridiculous. What is even more pathetic is parents with their children actively teaching their children to be terrified of dogs, either control yourself or don't go with your child to places dogs are likely to be.

phoenixrosehere · 26/03/2022 21:06

The dog didn’t do anything so it wasn’t an
Issue. Most dogs are fine and owners responsible. If you are scared of walking past a dog because it’s big I’m not the strange one.

OP is not a mind reader and neither are the dog’s owners. They can say the dog won’t do something and they may be right, doesn’t mean one day they won’t be wrong nor should others who are strangers not be cautious around a strange dog.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/03/2022 21:07

@roseberrycherry

Was it on a lead? Was it bounding up and down the pavement? If not. You were being unreasonable.
I've had an on lead dog suddenly start baking and lurch at my child in a buggy. We were coming up to wait at traffic lights, stood as far away as reasonable and the dog went berserk. DS had been sitting quietly so had done nothing to provoke him. I managed to pull the buggy back before the dog could reach him. Apparently he "didn't like buggies". Now I have a six year old who doesn't like dogs.
yaboreme · 26/03/2022 21:12

I agree with you. Still do it now, if I see a large dog or a breed that I'm wary if I pick my son up or go in the other direction.

Don't think it's over the top at all, it's not a chance I'm willing to take. Regardless of whether it's the most wonderful dog in the world.

I'm a dog owner myself, and wouldn't be a offended if someone did the same to me whilst walking my dogs. I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You do what you think is is right. The end.

surreygirl1987 · 26/03/2022 21:37

Standing in front of the pram is just performance parenting. No. This is a ridiculous statement to make. I actively stand between a dog and my son when we encounter one, not as a 'performance' but so that I can intervene if I have to, and protect my son. Why on earth can't you see that??

I think you need more proportionate ways of dealing with this in the future, or your going to look a right plonker.* She's not the one who is coming across as a plonker right now...

Original poster
Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 22:30

@yaboreme . You get it. Thank you. Many dog owners on this thread seem to assume that I must have a pathological fear of dogs. I don't.

We had a family dog when I was growing up, and in the past I have been happy to walk a friend's dog.

What I don't have, is instant trust in dogs that I don't know, when they are at the same height as my baby's buggy.

On my own, I am happy to accept that the chances someone's large dog will go for me is fairly small, and I wouldn't feel the need to give a dog a wide berth, but I am not prepared to take even the smallest of preventable risks when it comes to my DS's safety.

OP posts:
cowskeepingmeupatnight · 26/03/2022 22:56

[quote Matleave2022]@yaboreme . You get it. Thank you. Many dog owners on this thread seem to assume that I must have a pathological fear of dogs. I don't.

We had a family dog when I was growing up, and in the past I have been happy to walk a friend's dog.

What I don't have, is instant trust in dogs that I don't know, when they are at the same height as my baby's buggy.

On my own, I am happy to accept that the chances someone's large dog will go for me is fairly small, and I wouldn't feel the need to give a dog a wide berth, but I am not prepared to take even the smallest of preventable risks when it comes to my DS's safety.[/quote]
…then why do you leave the house at all? Or meet other (unpredictable) children? Go swimming? Drive in the car?

You take reasonable (and preventable) risks all the time, and so you should. It’s just dogs you’re a bit excessive about. You shouldn’t have been shouted at though, even if you did go full on human shield.

Original poster
Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 23:15

@cowskeepingmeupatnight those comparisons are pretty facile. It costs me nothing (apart from 30 seconds of my time) to stand in front of the buggy while a dog passes, and there's sweet FA benefit to me in terms of not doing this, and letting a random dog get close to my son's buggy.

Driving and swimming are cases where you accept the risk because of the huge detriment to your quality of life if you didn't undertake those activities.

OP posts:
areallthenamesusedup · 26/03/2022 23:20

@TheBeautifulMoors

Ignore them. They were completely in the wrong for speaking to you like that. Your baby, your instincts and your decision. You were not in their way so what’s her problem?
As an owner of a massive but well trained dog, your reaction was right. You should always do what is right for your child. The dog owners sound bonkers.