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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman yelling at me because I wanted to avoid her dog

343 replies

Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 12:33

I was walking along a reasonably narrow path with trees either side this morning and I had DS (4 months old) with me in a reclined buggy.

I spotted a couple (maybe in their late 50s or early 60s) coming towards me with an agressive looking breed of dog. I decided that I didn't want to take the risk, so without saying anything to them, I politely stopped in the path, stood in front of DS's buggy and waited for them to pass.

I want to stress that I said absolutely nothing to them as they were approaching. However, as they got close, the woman in the couple started yelling at me about how "My dog isn't going to eat your baby." "My dog is fine". "I think you are being overprotective".

My response was that I didn't know her from Adam, so why on earth would I trust a random stranger telling me that her dog was OK.

She continued to yell about me being overprotective and that me stopping in the path was "scaring" her dog. My only response was to tell her that she was being ridiculous to expect strangers to trust her assertions about her large dog, and I walked on once she had finally passed me.

I could have understood her reaction if I had said something like "keep your dog away from us" when I stopped, but I was silent and patiently waiting for her, her partner and the dog to pass.

It seems batshit that she got offended by me silently choosing to stop and not take the chance that her dog could go for the buggy. AIBU?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 26/03/2022 12:35

This is the second thread today saying pretty much the same Confused

AlanBrazil · 26/03/2022 12:36

Why do we need to know the ages of the couple?

Bananabutter · 26/03/2022 12:37

YANBU. If people choose to have aggressive breeds they need to live with the consequences of that, and one of those is that nobody is going to want to go near it no matter how “friendly” and “lovable” they are.

Bananabutter · 26/03/2022 12:37

@LaurieFairyCake

This is the second thread today saying pretty much the same Confused
That’s because dog owners are entitled.
Pyri · 26/03/2022 12:38

@LaurieFairyCake

This is the second thread today saying pretty much the same Confused
Yes this
GoodJanetBadJanet · 26/03/2022 12:39

Sounds like one of '' those'' dog owners who think everybody loves their dog just as much as they do.
'''He won't bite'' '' he just wants to play '' etc 🙄
Maybe so but I don't want it jumping all over me thanks, maybe try to control it a bit more?!
Anyway ignore ranty woman, YANBU

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 26/03/2022 12:40

I think they were unpleasant, but you escalated it.

Fine to stop, I used to do the same as dd was petrified of dogs, I had comments often, ended up either ignoring or saying dd was allergic. No point having a row in the street.

elenacampana · 26/03/2022 12:41

Maybe I’m going against the grain, but I find your actions there ridiculous sorry OP. I have a 4 month old as well and it wouldn’t enter my head to do that.

GrandRapids · 26/03/2022 12:41

I probably would have said: "for your information, I still would have moved aside, even if you had a Labrador. I don't like dogs PERIOD, so next time don't jump to conclusions eh"

Honestly these types get very precious and defensive. I've also had a bloke make a sarcastic comment as I moved aside with my nervous dog, whilst he was being towed down the path by a massive bull breed on a flimsy extendable lead. Bellend.

ENoeuf · 26/03/2022 12:41

It is a bit weird I think and a clear ‘I don’t trust you’ visual signal which I imagine people could take offence at. So you have a message they didn’t like. I can’t imagine hanging around long enough to say all you said afterwards - how long did that take?? If she’d said ‘my dog won’t eat your baby?’ I’d have said something daft like ‘well he is quite scrummy, you never know’ and walked on. But then I’m very much about defusing real life stuff these days.

Original poster
Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 12:42

@AlanBrazil I mentioned their ages, as I got the sense that the woman wouldn't have yelled at me like that, had I been closer to her age ( I am in my 30s so not super young, but a fair bit younger than she was).

Her yelling was done in a very patronising fashion (as if I were her daughter or similar) regarding the "overprotective" comments.

OP posts:
elenacampana · 26/03/2022 12:42

Having said that, I’d just have thought you were weird if I saw you doing it if I was out with a dog. I wouldn’t have said anything, just had a giggle when I got past you.

Unsureaboutit9 · 26/03/2022 12:42

Over the top of you to stand in front of your buggy like the dog would eat your baby, over the top of them to say something about it. God knows how youl cope once your baby can walk.

Blackbutler86 · 26/03/2022 12:43

By aggressive looking dog do you mean it was pulling and lunging or snarling etc as it came towards you? If so then yanbu, if it was calmly walking next to the owners and fully under control then it may have looked a bit odd that you did that but it’s your choice and no need for them to say anything. As the owner of a dog some people are wary of and cross the road from us I just find it amusing and carry on. It’s never crossed my mind to say anything.

Saucery · 26/03/2022 12:45

Blimey, there’s a lot of these threads about.
I’m sure they all actually happened though, because to capitalise on the horrendous death of a toddler by posting multiple anti-dog fantasies wouldn’t be something anyone on here would do, surely…..

Thesearmsofmine · 26/03/2022 12:46

Unless the dog was acting unhappy/aggressive rather than just plodding along on its walk I feel you were a bit OTT stopping and standing in front of the pram. Nobody should have been shouting at each other. It all seems a bit ridiculous,

Viviennemary · 26/03/2022 12:46

Don't give that idiot woman another thought. . You did the right thing. I loathe dogs and give them a wide bearth. But I usually say something like sorry I am not good with dogs. But it was more difficult in your case with your young child.

Original poster
Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 12:47

@Blackbutler86 by "aggressive" I mean a big, powerful, breed of dog. You can call that "higher potential to be aggressive" if you would prefer.

OP posts:
BobbinHood · 26/03/2022 12:48

@Saucery

Blimey, there’s a lot of these threads about. I’m sure they all actually happened though, because to capitalise on the horrendous death of a toddler by posting multiple anti-dog fantasies wouldn’t be something anyone on here would do, surely…..
Or perhaps there are millions upon millions of pet dogs in this country and even a small minority of owners being dickheads means there are a lot of dickheads about?

OP YADNBU, you can’t win with these dog owners. On these threads there will always be someone complaining about people letting their children come up to their dog, but if you take steps to avoid dogs you get berated for it too.

Soontobe60 · 26/03/2022 12:51

@Bananabutter

YANBU. If people choose to have aggressive breeds they need to live with the consequences of that, and one of those is that nobody is going to want to go near it no matter how “friendly” and “lovable” they are.
What does an ‘aggressive looking dog’ actually look like?
BrioNotBiro · 26/03/2022 12:52

Did she actually 'yell' at you when close up? Seems OTT.

Soontobe60 · 26/03/2022 12:52

[quote Matleave2022]@Blackbutler86 by "aggressive" I mean a big, powerful, breed of dog. You can call that "higher potential to be aggressive" if you would prefer.[/quote]
So, you know nothing about dogs then. Size does not equate to aggressiveness in a dog.

lemongreentea · 26/03/2022 12:52

SOME not all dog owners are like this. Weirdly upset that not everyone a)loves dogs b)is obbsessed with their dog.

If you are an entitled dog owner who thinks people should love being close to your dog just stop. We don't give a shit about what pet you choose to have. if your dog makes you happy then thats great but it doesnt make us who are trying to avoid you dog for whatever reason happy. stop with the weird 'oh he wont hurt you'
WE DON"T CARE JUST STOP TALKING TO US.

We dont want to acknowlegde your dog as we dont care about your dog.

Soontobe60 · 26/03/2022 12:53

[quote Matleave2022]@AlanBrazil I mentioned their ages, as I got the sense that the woman wouldn't have yelled at me like that, had I been closer to her age ( I am in my 30s so not super young, but a fair bit younger than she was).

Her yelling was done in a very patronising fashion (as if I were her daughter or similar) regarding the "overprotective" comments.[/quote]
Now you’re making things up

CeleriacOfTheNight · 26/03/2022 12:53

What does an ‘aggressive looking dog’ actually look like?

Wearing knuckledusters and carrying a flick knife