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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman yelling at me because I wanted to avoid her dog

343 replies

Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 12:33

I was walking along a reasonably narrow path with trees either side this morning and I had DS (4 months old) with me in a reclined buggy.

I spotted a couple (maybe in their late 50s or early 60s) coming towards me with an agressive looking breed of dog. I decided that I didn't want to take the risk, so without saying anything to them, I politely stopped in the path, stood in front of DS's buggy and waited for them to pass.

I want to stress that I said absolutely nothing to them as they were approaching. However, as they got close, the woman in the couple started yelling at me about how "My dog isn't going to eat your baby." "My dog is fine". "I think you are being overprotective".

My response was that I didn't know her from Adam, so why on earth would I trust a random stranger telling me that her dog was OK.

She continued to yell about me being overprotective and that me stopping in the path was "scaring" her dog. My only response was to tell her that she was being ridiculous to expect strangers to trust her assertions about her large dog, and I walked on once she had finally passed me.

I could have understood her reaction if I had said something like "keep your dog away from us" when I stopped, but I was silent and patiently waiting for her, her partner and the dog to pass.

It seems batshit that she got offended by me silently choosing to stop and not take the chance that her dog could go for the buggy. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 15:14

@steff13 I didn't exactly have a lot of time to ruminate over the least offensive way to guard the buggy. A few people have suggested that I make it look like I am adjusting clothing or a blanket in the buggy, and I have taken this suggestion on board.

OP posts:
StaplesCorner · 26/03/2022 15:15

I remember years ago walking down a narrow footpath with a small timid cockapoo. A lady and I assume her mum approached me with two kids lets say around 4 and 6. She immediately pulled the children to the wall, made them face the wall and then pressed her body against theirs effectively pinning them face first to the brickwork, with her facing the bricks too, saying "its ok darlings its ok it'll be alright". The mother cowered to the side of her but facing me (brave lady). I can only assume she had a phobia of dogs.

Me and the dog were like WTAF? They definitely got our attention. Anyway, that's clearly not what the OP did but I just thought I couldn't miss the opportunity to share that particularly piece of batshittery.

StaplesCorner · 26/03/2022 15:17

Oh and YANBU OP, unless it was a cockapoo. I would have done the same with a baby, just get out of the way and let them pass. When people stand back to let me and my dog pass my normal reaction is thank you.

venusandmars · 26/03/2022 15:17

@sourdoughismyreligion You are my favourite kind of dog owner. Thank you

Mickarooni · 26/03/2022 15:19

The OP said nothing but stopped and let them pass. Obviously YANBU @Matleave2022 and ignore the previous dog owners who think otherwise. I have a small breed pup and just today on a walk, someone quickly jumped out of the way. I apologised and picked up the dog so they could pass. He explained he is scared of dogs. I was not offended in any way. We had a brief conversation. Some people are scared of dogs. I used to be full on terrified and now I’m a dog owner and lover but I’ve never forgotten how random people would have a nag because I was petrified. I would legit rather have run into a busy road than walk past a dog. Everyone has a right to exist peacefully. You are fine. :)

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 26/03/2022 15:21

Yes, "be kind" next time OP, leave the daring to have an opinion and answer back (correctly), to the men

Confused yes because not deliberately antagonising someone who was supposedly already yelling at you over fuck all when you're out with your child is definitely the same as #bekind

mnnewbie111 · 26/03/2022 15:22

I had this once. I scooped up my little girl when a minging dog came near here. I said nothing just picked her up away from the dog and walked off. This owner took it so personally, it was really quite pathetic. Projecting ALOT, that's all it is. Ignore and move on

mnnewbie111 · 26/03/2022 15:23

@mnnewbie111

I had this once. I scooped up my little girl when a minging dog came near here. I said nothing just picked her up away from the dog and walked off. This owner took it so personally, it was really quite pathetic. Projecting ALOT, that's all it is. Ignore and move on
#her
Ori18 · 26/03/2022 15:25

To stand actually in front of the buggy though? That’s odd. Why did you feel the need to do that? It makes quite a statement - you didn’t need to say anything

StaplesCorner · 26/03/2022 15:25

@venusandmars I think that's a fair point then if that's how you feel, maybe the person I described in my example felt like that to react in such an extreme manner.

I still think its all pointing to the OP NBU.

Ori18 · 26/03/2022 15:26

But I also think she should have said nothing. It was wrong of her to make comments

Sunnytwobridges · 26/03/2022 15:27

🙄

Becclescake · 26/03/2022 15:29

YANBU- any decent person would understand that some people are wary of dogs, and in particular menacing looking breeds. No need for them to take it personally, just call the dog back and move along.

Original poster
Matleave2022 · 26/03/2022 15:29

@Ori18 , as I have said countless times on this thread, I stood in front of the buggy because it was a narrow path. I couldn't go wide, so there was no other logistical way of ensuring the dog couldn't reach the buggy.

My only other option would have been asking the couple to move their dog to the other side, (they were walking three abreast with the dog nearest to me) which would have been far more confrontational.

OP posts:
grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 26/03/2022 15:32

Did shouting really happen? It's quite hard to believe a dog owner suddenly start shouting at stranger showing no aggression towards them or dog.
I'm sure she must have experience of people just being afraid/don't like the dog, etc. And I really don't think she would start shouting every time someone avoids her dog.

Marvellousmadness · 26/03/2022 15:33

You both sound ...uh... batpoop
Your response was bizarre. Hers was rediculous

MardyMandy · 26/03/2022 15:37

Maybe I’m going against the grain, but I find your actions there ridiculous sorry OP. I have a 4 month old as well and it wouldn’t enter my head to do that

It would enter mine and 81% of posters.

StopLying · 26/03/2022 15:42

I would stand in front of my child's buggy too. I don't think that's unreasonable at all. The shouting from the dog owner is unreasonable. The ageism from the op is unreasonable. The fear about an unknown large dog near your child's buggy isn't unreasonable.

MaxCrashtappen · 26/03/2022 15:42

I think you both were BU however if you are this worried about dogs you shouldn't habe been on a narrow path where you might come in contact with dogs. Stick to open areas. If I were this scared I would not be going anywhere where this scenario could occur

MardyMandy · 26/03/2022 15:43

Big dog really doesn’t equate to aggressive dog

No but a big aggressive dog is much scarier than a tiny aggressive dog.
The latter wouldn't scare me too much because I could hurt it more than it could hurt me. If it did try anything on, that is.

1forAll74 · 26/03/2022 15:44

This is usually the type of speech and behaviour from some people with dogs, they don't ever give a thought to what other people may feel about a strange dog approaching, which could pose a risk.. The woman sounds like one of those spikey types, who can be an unpleasant to come across.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 26/03/2022 15:49

A medium sized dogs head is at about the same height as a baby’s face, if it is lying in a pushchair.

When out with a dog on a lead if I see people coming the other way I always have the dog close enough to me that it could not reach the child.

If a free dig was running towards children I would call it back.

Whether a parent is being ‘over protective’ isn’t my decision. It is my job to keep the dog under control so that they don’t need to feel they must protect their child.

Many dog owners are such knobs.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 26/03/2022 15:51

if you are this worried about dogs you shouldn't habe been on a narrow path where you might come in contact with dogs. Stick to open areas

Because let’s face it, the world primarily belongs to dogs!

Who wants even a friendly dog to lick, snuff or salivate on their baby’s face?

Lilac57 · 26/03/2022 15:53

Doing what you can go avoid a dog, any dog, aggressive or not, is perfectly reasonable. I've not had any scary incidents thankfully, but I've had too many random dogs jump up at me and ruin a perfectly good outfit to go within a few feet of them now. And that's even if they're even on a lead, I had a muddy dog jump all over me in a park off the lead, whose owner proceeded to ignore what was happening. I called to the rude owner that their dog was jumping up, and they should control their dog, only to get more obviously ignored when they scurried away, not even a hint of an apology. I have nothing against dogs, I've owned them in the past myself, but some people really shouldn't be allowed to keep them. The trouble is you don't know who these people are, so it's sensible to be wary of all dogs. Dog owners should be a bit more self aware, and understand that not everyone is overjoyed to come across their dogs when out walking, minding their own business. They really should expect people to avoid their dogs as that's a perfectly sensible course of action, it's ridiculous to get offended by that.

shockthemonkey · 26/03/2022 15:56

It's just that standing in front of the buggy can't really have prevented the dog from going for your child had it wished to do so, as he could have just lunged once he was alongside (ie had gone past you but was level with the child).

Not knowing exactly how narrow the path was, fussing alongside (not a bad idea in principle if you're especially nervous) might not have left them enough room to pass.

I also don't think it's possible to "yell" in a patronising tone.

I don't know what the answer is, going forward, because it seems as if you might be best avoiding narrow paths until you become more confident around dogs. But that's obviously a shame as you have every right to walk where you like. It doesn't sound as if the dog walkers were at fault for your nervousness though.