Woman yelling at me because I wanted to avoid her dog

[Matleave2022]

I was walking along a reasonably narrow path with trees either side this morning and I had DS (4 months old) with me in a reclined buggy.

I spotted a couple (maybe in their late 50s or early 60s) coming towards me with an agressive looking breed of dog. I decided that I didn't want to take the risk, so without saying anything to them, I politely stopped in the path, stood in front of DS's buggy and waited for them to pass.

I want to stress that I said absolutely nothing to them as they were approaching. However, as they got close, the woman in the couple started yelling at me about how "My dog isn't going to eat your baby." "My dog is fine". "I think you are being overprotective".

My response was that I didn't know her from Adam, so why on earth would I trust a random stranger telling me that her dog was OK.

She continued to yell about me being overprotective and that me stopping in the path was "scaring" her dog. My only response was to tell her that she was being ridiculous to expect strangers to trust her assertions about her large dog, and I walked on once she had finally passed me.

I could have understood her reaction if I had said something like "keep your dog away from us" when I stopped, but I was silent and patiently waiting for her, her partner and the dog to pass.

It seems batshit that she got offended by me silently choosing to stop and not take the chance that her dog could go for the buggy. AIBU?

So what if the OP doesn't know anything about dogs! She saw what she thought might be a risk and just quietly stood aside. Her decision. It didn't affect anyone else in any way, there was no need for any comment at all.

I always pull over to the side if I see someone with children coming towards me.

That way, I can block my dogs from being touched by children (they are two cute breeds), and it allows the parents to walk by without any worries

Tell her your baby eats dogs.

@AlanBrazil

Why do we need to know the ages of the couple?

Hatred of older people it’s very common on here.

@Phineyj

A colleague of mine has been completely traumatised by a large dog that came bounding along her street (having escaped from a dog walker with multiple dogs), knocked her infant son over and broke his arm. He needed a hospital stay.

I'd like to see my cats achieve that.

Some dog owners are in denial. Some dogs are a risk to small children. You have no way of knowing which.

Exactly. When DS was a baby, I went to a person’s house, and a border collie came in at a speed of knots with “Intent” I was able to grab DS fast, and the Border collie was caught and hit (!!) by friend’s mother whose dog it was.

They said collie was “ Very jealous “ of children

Hitting the dog was stupid though..
If she hated babies before, being hit in their presence will make her hate them more.

Simple psychology.

The body language was rude because you were deliberately going out of your way to make a point.

How was the dog behaving? Was it on a lead? Was it a loose lead? Was it lunging and bouncing or just walking and sniffing? Did the owners look like they were struggling to control it?

I understand being aware of dogs, but understanding the difference between an aggressive and a calm dog would benefit you greatly.

The peculiarity is the variations on a theme threads involving encounters with "powerful" dogs that have emerged in just a few hours. It's an extraordinary coincidence.

I think it's a fairly common occurrence. There a very aggressive dog in my local area that I suspect might be a banned breed, that snarls and strains at the leash at anyone who passes it in a public area. It's owner also neglects to pick up its shit.

Whilst the majority of dog owners are responsible, there are a fair fee that aren't.

“” It's owner also neglects to pick up its shit.”

A good response to that ( If you own a dog yourself) is to say charmingly
“ Oh have you run out of bags?
Here, have one of mine” With a smile.

She was being unreasonable and I'm saying that as a dog lover. I don't let my dog go right up to people unless they make the first move and want to pet her.

Hopefully she is just being a bit sensitive. While you didn't say anything, some people cab be quite unpleasant to owners of 'aggressive' breeds. I've got friends who have a rottweiler, who is a big softie. They also keep her on the lead when around people because they know that some people might find her intimidating. There is a dog walking park that they take her too if they want to let her off for a run. But they've had people approach them when they've been out for a stroll, minding their own business, and received a right gobful for owning a dangerous dog. And that really irritates them. Either way, she had no right to speak to you like that.

It was weird of you to stand in front of the pushchair. Angle it away from the dog? Odd to assume this dog would suddenly lunge unprovoked and maul your baby.
She was completely OTT to yell. But that doesn’t make what you did any less odd.

You did the right thing and followed your natural mother protection instincts. I would have done the same.

The problem with people who own dogs that have or look to have the potential to do a lot of damage, is, that they do not appreciate how frightening it can be for other people.

I have seen (and know of ) dangerous dogs that don't have a lead let alone a collar, so if anything did happen the person being attacked wouldn't stand a chance in hell.

@Stellaris22 , I am not going to wait for a dog that I don't know to show signs of agression before I put myself between the dog and DS.
I wasn't trying to make a point, the only way for me to be confident that the dog couldn't reach my DS when passing was to stand in front of the buggy. On a wider path I would have just gone wide.

YANBU. I have a big dog and I understand that there are a lot of people out there who find them intimidating if not terrifying. If I were passing you and you did that, OP, I'd assume you were scared of dogs and I'd make sure my dog was walking to heel and I'd give you a wide birth.

As for telling you that you standing there was ''scaring her dog'', what utter tosh. Her shouting at you would have scared the dog.

Ok. So in this made up situation a calm dog, where the owners were in control, did nothing aggressive.

Got it. Hope this thread is giving you the entertainment you wanted.

I'm a dog person and my dogs don't look like dangerous breeds. If I were to talk one of them and someone gave us a wide berth or otherwise avoided us, I might feel a bit self-conscious, but I wouldn't say anything. What would be the point? I might think they were being ridiculous, but even if so, nothing I could say would make a bit of difference. And who cares, really? They're only inconveniencing themselves.

Even as a dog person, I would step aside to avoid dogs or dog-walkers that I don't feel safe around, for whatever reason.

as I got the sense that the woman wouldn't have yelled at me like that, had I been closer to her age ( I am in my 30s so not super young, but a fair bit younger than she was).

Did you? You must have the most amazing powers of perception to be able to glean this information from the most brief of brief encounters with a complete stranger.

I would have done the same but maybe made out like I was adjusting a blanket of something rather than just standing.

@BoredZedla there's a tone of voice that people generally use when chastising children, and she was using it with me.

As a dog owner I will normally move off the path to let a buggy pass but I am concerned at her use of ‘aggressive looking dog’. That’s a bit light of a reason to go into full protective and I’d have been quite surprised to see you move in front of the buggy. Was the dog on the lead? If so it was under control. Your reaction was a tad ott but it’s up to you. If you are using shared public spaces then you need to learn to deal with other people.

Exactly. There’s ways to do things without looking like a dick.

@WeDontShutUpAboutBruno

I think they were unpleasant, but you escalated it.

Fine to stop, I used to do the same as dd was petrified of dogs, I had comments often, ended up either ignoring or saying dd was allergic. No point having a row in the street.

Yes, "be kind" next time OP, leave the daring to have an opinion and answer back (correctly), to the men

YANBU. Only a few days ago a toddler girl was mauled to death by a supposedly ‘safe’ dog. It only takes a split second and certain breeds are built such that one bite could do a lot of damage to a small child.

When my son was little someone with a dog that looked like a wolf type breed (maybe huskie crossed with something else) walked passed us. I felt uneasy and kept my son back but this dog went for him. It was so quick and this dog went for my sons face. He was only about 3 at the time. If I hadn’t been watching or he had been closer I think he would have ended up being bitten.

Not everyone feels comfortable around dogs and they might be someone’s beloved pet, but they are still an animal at the end of the day and I would never trust any dog around children, especially one I didn’t know. Like you say, you didn’t know this woman so why should you take her word that the animal was safe?

i politely stopped in the path, stood in front of ds's buggy and waited for them to pass.

I think this was a very weird thing to do. It makes it seem like you were ready for a confrontation.

I have a phobic reponse to uncontrolled dogs. I have tried and tried everything to work with it, get over it, find alternative thought patterns, had CBT, hypnotherapy etc. We even had a dog of our own (which did help a bit, for a while). But the phobia is still there. Sometimes I manage it better than other times, but if I'm feeling particularly anxious it gets the better of me.

Mostly I will turn and walk in a different direcetion to avoid an off-lead dog, sometimes I can't. Sometimes I even stand with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears (because that is the best way for me to control my state and not see or hear the dog - it also means I'm calmer and not panicing as much, which I think dogs can sense). It may seems a ridiculous and stupid response to other people.

I'm hyper aware of how dogs and their owners are behaving. I really appreciate it when dog owners see my fear, recognise it and respond in a helpful way - call their dog to them, keep their dog under close control, or throw a ball for their dog so it's directed away from me. My panic instantly subsides. I love those dog owners, and I'd probably also love their dogs.

I hate it when I see dogs that have no recall, are not under control, owner shouting their name endlessly with no impact. That's when I'm most likely to freeze.

I appreciate that this is MY problem, I have to find ways of dealing with it, (I'm not expecting dog owners to put their dogs on a lead because of my issues) but I also know that some dog owners have no comprehension of how others might respond to their 'friendly' pet.

When we did have a pet dog (old lab) he once wandered aimiably towards a young man and his carer. The young man was really distressed about the dog being near him and I wished I'd being paying more attention to my animal and anticipated and taken action earlier.

Always ALWAYS better safe than sorry 😞